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  1. #1

    Bisexual boyfriend

    I have a bisexual boyfriend and I have known pretty much since we got in the relationship. We have yet to try strap on's mostly due to money. I have agreed to MMF threesomes as long as it is not someone we know and they HAVE to get tested. Although, he has sounded doubtful of how this can fulfill his needs. He says he doesn't know if he needs to have an experience alone with another man to feel sexually fulfilled or not. I am not comfortable with open relationships and told him he needs to tell me if he wants to have sex outside of our relationship so we could break up. I told him for a bit it would be hard for me, but i'd be his friend as long as he was always honest with me.

    I'm so afraid this is what is going to happen. Although, he hasn't been very sure with how he feels(as far as I know) and i'd be willing to try a few things with him. I have played with him anally, just no dildos yet.

    I know he loves me so much and that I am very important in his life. But, i've fought long and hard to be with him long before our relationship started. And, now i'm unsure if I can even make him happy. I don't want to leave him unless he does feel he needs to be alone with another man because i'd be more than willing to try things WITH him. I almost feel offended that even though I am willing to give him what he wants, it's not enough because i'm not a man.

    So, my question is... If you've been in pretty much the same situation, how did it go? And what did you do for your significant other? Did they feel fulfilled and happy? Or did they need someone else to do it for them?

  2. #2

    Re: Bisexual boyfriend

    I was in a similar situation with my ex-wife. I realized I was bisexual about 5 years into the marriage and told her. I wasn't wanting to experiment with guys at the time and she just couldn't accept it. That's the main reason why we split. I didn't have anyone at the time to support me emotionally. I recommend just supporting and giving your man the space he needs to explore this side of himself. Him wanting to be alone with a guy doesn't change his feelings for you. If you feel like you can't do it then that's the choice you have to make.

  3. #3

    Re: Bisexual boyfriend

    Thank you for your response and i've been supporting him as long as i've known. I can give him space, but not for an open relationship. He does know how uncomfortable an open relationship makes me. I wouldn't mind being involved, but if I can't be, that's not what I want from a relationship. I know it wouldn't make him love me any less, and that his need for his first ever male experience is not about me in any way. I just wish I knew what to do to make him satisfied. Who knows, I may be more comfortable with an open relationship or something of the sort in the future but I wouldn't force that on myself. He knows he's welcome to tell me if he wants that experience and that i'd still be his friend. It might take some time for me, but i'd do my best to be there for him.

  4. #4

    Re: Bisexual boyfriend

    This may sounds like a strange response but, my g/f and I had the same issues. Here's a simple fix to your dilemma that worked for us. ROLLPLAY !! A lot of time we just bring our fantasies into our bedroom, and act them out. She would love to have our HOT Talk in bed and pretend it really happened...

    Anyway it worked for us...

  5. #5

    Re: Bisexual boyfriend

    Or maybe not completely participate but just sit back and watch or the two of you can find a guy that you both agree on. Feel free to pm me if you have any questions. I'll answer the best I can.
    Last edited by chapear; Jun 10, 2012 at 6:01 AM.

  6. #6
    FinkDoodle
    Guest

    Re: Bisexual boyfriend

    Here's the thing . . you girls always seem to presume that just because men are emotionally involved with YOU, that we're also the same way with other men. This isn't necessarily the case. A lot of bi men (myself included) are not attracted to men beyond a friendship level, emotionally speaking. What many of us like is the variety in the sex in the physical sense, and that can't even remotely be defined as a "relationship" in the emotional sense of the word.

    I obviously have no idea where your boyfriend's interests lie, but I think you might be applying too much of your feminine perspective to his involvement with other men if you're of the opinion that emotional involvement MUST be present for any two people to have sex, regardless of gender. . . it doesn't really work that way with guys, for the most part. We tend to be emotionally attached to only a fraction of the people we actually have sex with. . .whereas the vast majority of women doesn't get sexually involved if the emotions aren't there first.

    Pretend he's just playing sports with a male friend instead . . he'll still get sweaty, play with balls and hit a home run . . it's just a slightly different environment. But for many guys the emotional interest is exactly the same.

  7. #7

    Re: Bisexual boyfriend

    Nommy, byron is spot on with his comment. In my experience, most bisexual guys form emotional attachments with women, not men. That's one reason it's so easy to hook up with another guy. "Just sex.......no strings attached." I have found few women (although I'm sure there are plenty out there) who can enjoy sex without some type of emotional ties first.

    Most of the couples I've played with prefer male on male sex and the female enjoying from the sidelines (or better yet, directing the action.) And I must say, those couples were the most together, stable and loving relationships I have ever seen. There's nothing wrong with you wanting to "be there", but make sure you want to be there for the right reasons. If you're there to "keep an eye on him", then I think you heading for trouble. If you're there for the the pleasure of you both, then you will likely grow a stronger, more loving relationship.
    Religion and Politics are like penises. It's okay to have and be proud of them, but it's not okay to whip them out in public and try to shove them down other people's throats!

  8. #8

    Re: Bisexual boyfriend

    In my experience, most bisexual guys form emotional attachments with women, not men.
    A lot of bi men (myself included) are not attracted to men beyond a friendship level, emotionally speaking. What many of us like is the variety in the sex in the physical sense, and that can't even remotely be defined as a "relationship" in the emotional sense of the word.
    Actually this is not true. If you tell yourself that you can't fall in love with a man or that it won't happen, then you have issues with internalized biphobia/homophobia. Or you've convinced yourself that it can't or won't happen and that you only fall in love with women. A lot of bisexual men will think that they want "just sex" with a man and then wind up falling in love with a man and it's a deeper connection than they have with a girlfriend or wife. It doesn't make them gay but just that they can fall in love with both genders. There are also a lot of bisexual men who form romantic relationships with men and have dated or had relationships with women but mainly have romance and love for men.
    Last edited by BiBrandon; Jun 10, 2012 at 5:37 PM.

  9. #9

    Re: Bisexual boyfriend

    I have played with him anally, just no dildos yet
    Keep in mind that just because he is bisexual and because he let you finger his ass hole that does not always mean that he wants to get fucked with a dildo. I do like it when a man or woman will touch, finger, or rim my ass after we've had a shower together but I don't like to take a dick up there or dildo.

  10. #10

    Re: Bisexual boyfriend

    Quote Originally Posted by BiBrandon View Post
    Keep in mind that just because he is bisexual and because he let you finger his ass hole that does not always mean that he wants to get fucked with a dildo. I do like it when a man or woman will touch, finger, or rim my ass after we've had a shower together but I don't like to take a dick up there or dildo.
    Wow, what insight.

  11. #11

    Re: Bisexual boyfriend

    Quote Originally Posted by byronvench View Post
    Here's the thing . . you girls always seem to presume that just because men are emotionally involved with YOU, that we're also the same way with other men. This isn't necessarily the case. A lot of bi men (myself included) are not attracted to men beyond a friendship level, emotionally speaking. What many of us like is the variety in the sex in the physical sense, and that can't even remotely be defined as a "relationship" in the emotional sense of the word.

    I obviously have no idea where your boyfriend's interests lie, but I think you might be applying too much of your feminine perspective to his involvement with other men if you're of the opinion that emotional involvement MUST be present for any two people to have sex, regardless of gender. . . it doesn't really work that way with guys, for the most part. We tend to be emotionally attached to only a fraction of the people we actually have sex with. . .whereas the vast majority of women doesn't get sexually involved if the emotions aren't there first.

    Pretend he's just playing sports with a male friend instead . . he'll still get sweaty, play with balls and hit a home run . . it's just a slightly different environment. But for many guys the emotional interest is exactly the same.
    I do not think he wants an emotional relationship with men and he has told me so. I trust and believe him so that's not the issue. It's just that i'm uncomfortable of him having sex outside of our relationship if we are in one. Otherwise, I would understand if he went for it. He wants to fulfill sexual desires and that is fine. I don't mind if we have that experience together, however, I couldn't be comfortable doing an open relationship and such.

  12. #12

    Re: Bisexual boyfriend

    Quote Originally Posted by BiBrandon View Post
    Keep in mind that just because he is bisexual and because he let you finger his ass hole that does not always mean that he wants to get fucked with a dildo. I do like it when a man or woman will touch, finger, or rim my ass after we've had a shower together but I don't like to take a dick up there or dildo.
    He has told me he wants it hough and has toys of his own, so that's not the case.

  13. #13

    Re: Bisexual boyfriend

    Hi Nobby, I am in the same situation. I came out to my girlfriend when we first met and originally she didn't want to know about it, then she was prepared to do the mmf experience with me and surprisingly the first time she saw me suck a guy she gotsoturned on watching that she statutes encouraging me to doit. Now we have stopped the mmf as she lost interest and life got in the way but she still puts her fingers in my mouth while we make love and tells me to suck the cock and that it is about to cum in my mouth. In addition she allows me to have a guy on the side as long as it is only one guy and not just going out there being a. Slut. She discovered she actually likes being with a bi guy, we more sensitive and caring than straight guys as our girlie side tempers us a bit but that only works if we accept ourselves and are not fighting the inner conflict.

    I wish you both the best and truly hope you manage to acept your guy as he is and can allow him the odd bit of freedom to experience the bit of cock he needs every now and then and yet still be comfortable in your relationship with him.

  14. #14

    Re: Bisexual boyfriend

    My wife recently found out I'm VERY bicurious. I only wish someday, she'll change her feelings like Katoom's did.

  15. #15

    Re: Bisexual boyfriend

    My only comment is this: Are you two young? By that I mean less than 30 and not widely experienced in relationships/love/sex.

    If yes: You're in for a rocky road if you stay - life is always bumpy and difficult when you're still fully determining your sexuality. To be blunt, you will be run through an emotional wringer, and so will he. Things may turn out well or not - he has to find out who he is, whether or not you have the will or desire to stand by him through that is solely up to you. Keep in mind the costs though - how many years and how much happiness will you surrender for him? It sounds cruel, but it's something you need to consider.


    If no: It's way too late in life to have to be dragged through this particular mud pit, IMO, and you should look elsewhere for a relationship that doesn't involve you making one sided sacrifices.

  16. #16

    Re: Bisexual boyfriend

    peeps at 30 are inexperienced in relationships love and sex??
    Do not think so little of me as to grant me your tolerance. Allow me your acceptance and understanding of who and what I am with the love, respect and dignity with which I do you.

  17. #17

    Re: Bisexual boyfriend

    I think the best thing you could do right now is to give him some space on his own or give him sometime to sort things out in order to figure out what he really wants no matter how much it hurts. I had been in this kind of situation once and had decided to let go but we had remained to be good friends.

 

 

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