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  1. #1

    Chasing Straight Women

    You will know I am an avid Guardian reader.. I caught a little gem this morning about the joy of the dyke in chasing straight women and can easily identify with what the author had to say.. it is something I did from a very young age even if then I was no dyke.. it is something which gained me my partner and there isn't much wrong with the article.. except nowhere does she seemed to have entertained the thought that at least some of these women she has chased and talked of may have been straight but not so straight at all but bisexual.. Kate certainly was after some months of protestations that she was straight... and a number of these straight and not so straight women I have known over time may have returned to bf and even married, but a decade later there they are, qat least many of them, still on occasion teasing and getting picked up by gay and more honestly bisexual women themselves.. several friends and others have gone honest and become openly bisexual, and at least one lessie...

    We have often talked of gay and lesbians who deny that bisexuality exists.. I accept that some of the women that the author talks of may have been just as she describes for sexuality is a very complex thing in human beings... but to entirely dismiss bisexuality as she does, by accident or design seems to point to her falling into the trap so many other lesbian and gay people do... that there is straight and gay and nothing in between..

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandsty...-me?intcmp=122

    and can I say this... not all straight or "straight" women are rubbish in bed.. some are.. but not all... but then I have had sex with gay women who weren't any great shakes in that regard and a few bi.. make of that what u will...
    Last edited by darkeyes; Apr 21, 2012 at 6:04 AM.
    Do not think so little of me as to grant me your tolerance. Allow me your acceptance and understanding of who and what I am with the love, respect and dignity with which I do you.

  2. #2

    Re: Chasing Straight Women

    it comes back to the * let people label themselves * understanding...... and she does refer to bisexuals when she says Courting the bi-curious requires the skill of restraint
    so she is acknowledging that people that ID as straight, can in fact be bi curious...

    the authors statement: There is a sort of informal manual for lesbian chasing not-so-straight. And the first rule is, you have to be platonic first. Girls who are not-so-straight but identify as straight – even when they admit to being attracted to women – don't want that interest to seem conscious.

    it begs the question, who is denying the bisexuality.... the author who refers to the ladies as some being bi curious but doesn't label people as bisexuals in denial... or the ladies themselves that can be bisexual / bi curious and do not want that fact known........

    honestly, after reading things like jobelorocks has posted about her workmates assuming that as a bisexual female, she will sleep with them and their partners...and other posts about how bisexual females can feel pressured to have sex with other females for the benefit of their partners, I can honestly not blame a lot of bisexual females for being closeted / discreet.....

    btw the author also did not refer to pansexuals and omnisexuals..... are they not valid sexualities either ???
    The only thing more painful than a broken heart, is catching yourself in your zip and having very cold hands

  3. #3

    Re: Chasing Straight Women

    She did Duckie.. she also mentioned LGBT.. neither necessarily denotes acceptance of bisexuality... many gay people of both genders recognise the existence of bicuriosity even if they do not accept the existence of bisexuality.. it is considered by some rather like a young person who is curious about sex.. some are curious what it would be like to experiment with their own sex.. some even like it..and whereas we would consider those who enjoy it and enter bisexual lifestyle and consider themselves bisexual as bisexual.. they would consider them either charlatan straight trollops with their own agenda or confused lesbians (or gay men) who haven't yet accepted their true calling... even as one who was for most of her adult life and a great deal of her adolescence and it can be argued, fits the bill of the latter, it is not an argument I have ever accepted for everyone.. the "charlatan" and the confused exist but many, I would think most become not lesbian, but either become bisexual and return to their heterosexual inclination.. some of course return to that lifestyle but have become either lesbian or bisexual, but societal and other domestic pressures play their part as these people, men as well as women enter the world of the secret.. some play secretly, some resist and live what really they are not for whatever reason.. but they remain bisexual or lesbian..

    Regarding omni or pansexuality, I have difficulty with this.. I don't deny that there are those who consider themselves such and I am quite happy that they do so.. I haven't yet come to a conclusion thats all.. the word bisexuality itself isn't quite adequate for what it is intended to describe.. but you're right, she appears to..however, that's not what is important.. it is that she seems to come down to straight/gay and nothing else...
    Last edited by darkeyes; Apr 21, 2012 at 8:01 AM.
    Do not think so little of me as to grant me your tolerance. Allow me your acceptance and understanding of who and what I am with the love, respect and dignity with which I do you.

  4. #4

    Re: Chasing Straight Women

    fran...

    accepting that bisexuality exists is as simple as saying bisexual exists... but defining it in regards to people and their behievour is something else in itself and that is where the issue comes into it more than at any other point....

    its a far better thing that she acknowledged the bi curious and lgbt as she understood it and left it at that,... than made statements about bisexuals and bisexuality that were in error and incurred the wrath of the bisexual community for *labelling * them...... or in this case, not labelling them....

    you are not wrong in what you are saying, fran, but you are assuming that the author has a understanding that she may well not... and that is my simple point, we all too often assume that others understand as we do..... and yeah if I was writing the article, I would have made reference to bisexuality as in that some of the ladies may well have been bisexual ladies..... but the article was actually about the lesbian getting the straight women.... not so much about how many of the straight women were bisexuals or bisexuals in denial......

    any ways, it is a interesting article about some of the mischief that the lesbian ladies get up to...... looks at fran sideways and says mmmmmm fran..lol......and the way I read it is not in a way of lesbians trying to turn straight females into lesbians.... but more of a understanding that not all hetero females are rigid heterosexuals and that it can be interesting to see just who is *secretly * curious about the pleasures of the vajaja sisterhood lol......

    psstt, fran, how about sharing some of those secrets with the mere mortal brotherhood
    The only thing more painful than a broken heart, is catching yourself in your zip and having very cold hands

  5. #5

    Re: Chasing Straight Women

    I have no clue as to how Staceyann Chin thinks about bisexuality and have assumed nothing abouther.. she may for all I know think about things similar to myself.. why is why I use words such as "seemed" and "appears". The point I make is that her article which while a good ..one as far as it goes, misses a beat.. it ignores bisexuality because there are bisexual women who chase straight women in just the same way as lesbians women do.. I was one in my teens and at the beginning of my 20s.. after the end of my married to my husband, still considering myself bisexual, I had learned to use a women's body language as well as what she said before attempting seduction.. some did consider themselves straight but I doubt if all were.. and subsequent events have proven me right in at least some of these cases.. and having a "straight" woman come on to me was both an exciting and not a novel experience even if not common..

    ..and does Darlin' darlin know that she is engaged to a dirty bugger may I ask?? I suspect so.. sometimes I wonder about the asexuality, Duckie babes, if not ur bisexuality... a mucky mind indeed.. tee hee
    Do not think so little of me as to grant me your tolerance. Allow me your acceptance and understanding of who and what I am with the love, respect and dignity with which I do you.

  6. #6

    Re: Chasing Straight Women

    it may well ignore the bisexual women chasing the straight women cos the author is a lesbian and writing from the lesbians point of view...... lol but you rise a good point... where are the articles by the bisexual woman about the bisexual womans point of view....... actually thats something that I would love to see in the forum... more bisexual females, lesbian females, hetero females points of view about life with bisexuals and how they see bisexuality...... cos its nice to see things from the other sides of the fence......

    nudges fran... you were saying about your past ???

    and yes, DD knows that behind the asexuality natured, tall, dark and handsome exterior, is a mucky minded person that has a past in more ways than one and DD's attempt to be a first with me at many things, is often met with me saying that she would not be the 1st, or the second or the third etc etc..... and if you do not watch it... this asexual natured bisexual will start pick thru the memories of fran the (cough ) innocent (cough ) lil lass with the mischievous grin.....
    Last edited by Long Duck Dong; Apr 21, 2012 at 9:50 AM.
    The only thing more painful than a broken heart, is catching yourself in your zip and having very cold hands

  7. #7

    Re: Chasing Straight Women

    Quote Originally Posted by Long Duck Dong View Post
    it comes back to the * let people label themselves * understanding...... and she does refer to bisexuals when she says Courting the bi-curious requires the skill of restraint
    so she is acknowledging that people that ID as straight, can in fact be bi curious...

    the authors statement: There is a sort of informal manual for lesbian chasing not-so-straight. And the first rule is, you have to be platonic first. Girls who are not-so-straight but identify as straight – even when they admit to being attracted to women – don't want that interest to seem conscious.

    it begs the question, who is denying the bisexuality.... the author who refers to the ladies as some being bi curious but doesn't label people as bisexuals in denial... or the ladies themselves that can be bisexual / bi curious and do not want that fact known........

    honestly, after reading things like jobelorocks has posted about her workmates assuming that as a bisexual female, she will sleep with them and their partners...and other posts about how bisexual females can feel pressured to have sex with other females for the benefit of their partners, I can honestly not blame a lot of bisexual females for being closeted / discreet.....

    btw the author also did not refer to pansexuals and omnisexuals..... are they not valid sexualities either ???
    So those 'not so straight' women are fair game for any bi-erasing she fancies, because they are not out n proud bi's?
    Could you dig any deeper into that barrel and scrape another excuse for her? And how comes partners of bisexual women PRESSURE them into f-f sex, and this lesbian is 'up to mischief'?LOL!

    Having read her article I'd have to assume that she's not retarded (bit thick though), knows what a bisexual is, and knows that typing "not so straight" takes longer than typing "bisexual". So why didn't she save the wear and tear of her keyboard?

    Quote Originally Posted by Staceyann
    She wasn't really a lesbian, even if she really wasn't all the way straight. She was my first not-really-straight girl tryst, but she would not be my last.
    WTF is that about? Does her traumatic brief relationship with an obvious bisexual woman give her a mental block on the word "Bisexual"? Did her failure to get her to 'abandon the heterosexual ship' for ever give her issues about bisexuality?
    How about a straight bloke try 'curing' HER lesbianism? THAT would be homophobic in a flash, but this shit gets by because she's a lesbian or a woman?

    More questions next week!

  8. #8

    Re: Chasing Straight Women

    There are times, Gear, when I wonder what goes through the heads of some of my lesbians sisters, if anything at all on occasion..
    Do not think so little of me as to grant me your tolerance. Allow me your acceptance and understanding of who and what I am with the love, respect and dignity with which I do you.

  9. #9

    Re: Chasing Straight Women

    It's certainly an interesting read. I do not put myself on any of those labels. I wish others could see

  10. #10

    Re: Chasing Straight Women

    Quote Originally Posted by Gearbox View Post
    So those 'not so straight' women are fair game for any bi-erasing she fancies, because they are not out n proud bi's?
    Could you dig any deeper into that barrel and scrape another excuse for her? And how comes partners of bisexual women PRESSURE them into f-f sex, and this lesbian is 'up to mischief'?LOL!

    Having read her article I'd have to assume that she's not retarded (bit thick though), knows what a bisexual is, and knows that typing "not so straight" takes longer than typing "bisexual". So why didn't she save the wear and tear of her keyboard?


    WTF is that about? Does her traumatic brief relationship with an obvious bisexual woman give her a mental block on the word "Bisexual"? Did her failure to get her to 'abandon the heterosexual ship' for ever give her issues about bisexuality?
    How about a straight bloke try 'curing' HER lesbianism? THAT would be homophobic in a flash, but this shit gets by because she's a lesbian or a woman?

    More questions next week!

    how about you mail the author and ask her yourself ?
    The only thing more painful than a broken heart, is catching yourself in your zip and having very cold hands

  11. #11

    Re: Chasing Straight Women

    "the authors statement: There is a sort of informal manual for lesbian chasing not-so-straight. And the first rule is, you have to be platonic first. Girls who are not-so-straight but identify as straight – even when they admit to being attracted to women – don't want that interest to seem conscious."

    Which paragraph in the article states the above? Is this a direct quote from the author's article or an interpretation...paraphrasing?
    Last edited by tenni; Apr 21, 2012 at 11:23 PM.

  12. #12

    Re: Chasing Straight Women

    tenni, 4th paragraph up from the bottom... its a direct quote

    Never, ever overtly refer to the electricity crackling between the two of you. Courting the bi-curious requires the skill of restraint. There is a sort of informal manual for lesbian chasing not-so-straight. And the first rule is, you have to be platonic first. Girls who are not-so-straight but identify as straight – even when they admit to being attracted to women – don't want that interest to seem conscious. It's always better if it seems like an impulsive adventure, a thing that just happened. Which means you always begin as nothing more than a friend. No compliments, no kissing, no holding hands, no longing looks. No I miss you phone calls. No yearning. Just casual chitchat girly-girl conversations. You should laugh when she confides in having a crush on some boy. Offer advice on what she should wear when she goes to see him. Be supportive of her relationship. Become her friend, first. Work very hard at being her very best friend. Always remember, you're only her friend. You are not allowed to bend that rule for at least three months.
    The only thing more painful than a broken heart, is catching yourself in your zip and having very cold hands

  13. #13

    Re: Chasing Straight Women

    thank you.

  14. #14

    Re: Chasing Straight Women

    Quote Originally Posted by darkeyes View Post
    There are times, Gear, when I wonder what goes through the heads of some of my lesbians sisters, if anything at all on occasion..
    Lol! Well lets be fair! People in general are prone to be 'mixed up' and no sexuality comes with a PHD in 'How Not To Be Fekin Silly'. Wish they did!
    As a beautiful sexy young lesbian woman with obvious skills in seduction, you have to wonder why she goes after hetero women though. She calls her seduction 'evangelical', and I've called many gays 'evangelists' during their "No such thing as bi!" conversations with me, when the agenda was JUST to have sex.lol It reminds me Voltaire's,“It is not enough to conquer; one must learn to seduce.”, quote. But as a bi, I'm quite happy for them to be gay. My 'hetero' side isn't the enemy they make it out to be. Nor would my conversion to gay be a victory for them. They'd be taking away something from me, not giving something to me. Yet I've had a few "After me, you wont want a woman!", claims that are spoken as if it was the latter. That I'd 'see the light' in some way.

    With Staceyann, it doesn't sound like the old hetero male studs boast ,"I can have any woman in this bar!". But more like the Christian Missionary's quest to bring Jesus into their hearts. Think the way I think, and feel the way I feel, kinda thing. Agnostics/bisexuals would be a real pain! Hardly worth the effort to turn full on Christian/gay.
    In her next article, I bet she'll try to convert Guardian readers over to The Daily Star. (if it still exists.lol).

  15. #15

    Re: Chasing Straight Women

    Quote Originally Posted by Gearbox View Post
    Lol! Well lets be fair! People in general are prone to be 'mixed up' and no sexuality comes with a PHD in 'How Not To Be Fekin Silly'. Wish they did!
    As a beautiful sexy young lesbian woman with obvious skills in seduction, you have to wonder why she goes after hetero women though. She calls her seduction 'evangelical', and I've called many gays 'evangelists' during their "No such thing as bi!" conversations with me, when the agenda was JUST to have sex.lol It reminds me Voltaire's,“It is not enough to conquer; one must learn to seduce.”, quote. But as a bi, I'm quite happy for them to be gay. My 'hetero' side isn't the enemy they make it out to be. Nor would my conversion to gay be a victory for them. They'd be taking away something from me, not giving something to me. Yet I've had a few "After me, you wont want a woman!", claims that are spoken as if it was the latter. That I'd 'see the light' in some way.

    With Staceyann, it doesn't sound like the old hetero male studs boast ,"I can have any woman in this bar!". But more like the Christian Missionary's quest to bring Jesus into their hearts. Think the way I think, and feel the way I feel, kinda thing. Agnostics/bisexuals would be a real pain! Hardly worth the effort to turn full on Christian/gay.
    In her next article, I bet she'll try to convert Guardian readers over to The Daily Star. (if it still exists.lol).
    I don't see anything "evangelical" about chasing straight women.. anyone who has desired and attempted to seduce the impossible and unattainable should understand that.. whether they are male or female.. and the gender of the quest is irrelevant... we are complex sexual beings, but sometimes we are a little too analytical and the principles of desire and pursuit are remarkably simple.. and sometimes the impossible and unattainable is not so impossibly impossible...
    Do not think so little of me as to grant me your tolerance. Allow me your acceptance and understanding of who and what I am with the love, respect and dignity with which I do you.

  16. #16

    Re: Chasing Straight Women

    Quote Originally Posted by Long Duck Dong View Post
    how about you mail the author and ask her yourself ?
    Oh! Don't want to speculate on her possible bi-phobia, as it's not in your interest I see.

    Quote Originally Posted by Drugstore cowboy
    Well said! I have noticed that among some gay men that they flat out worship hetero men and the pipe dream fantasy of having sex with straight men yet these gay men vehemently deny that men can be bisexual, practice bisexual erasure against bisexual men, and think that women somehow can only be bisexual. It's all rather odd, especially when the gay man is highly biphobic yet claims that he's LOL been with actual "straight" men.
    I was accused of being straight by a bloke I dated. While having sex!LOL! And I've heard how gays have had sex with straight men, not in prison, but of their own accord despite there being women around etc. It's pure fantasy! And I suppose that straights are more of a thrill than bi's because of the 'seduction' involved. But we all know they are not straight, so a little erasing goes on to fuel the fantasy.lol

  17. #17

    Re: Chasing Straight Women

    Quote Originally Posted by darkeyes View Post
    I don't see anything "evangelical" about chasing straight women.. anyone who has desired and attempted to seduce the impossible and unattainable should understand that.. whether they are male or female.. and the gender of the quest is irrelevant... we are complex sexual beings, but sometimes we are a little too analytical and the principles of desire and pursuit are remarkably simple.. and sometimes the impossible and unattainable is not so impossibly impossible...
    I get carried away on occasion. If I don't understand, I compare. But you should hear them sometimes, they are remarkably similar to missionaries, and I'm def not unobtainable sexually, just sexuality-wise.LOL!
    There's one straight bloke in the world that I really fantasise about, and he led me to suspect his sexuality. Others that are 'off limits' are just nice to look at, and great if they were at least bi, to me. So I probably just don't get the pursuit of them. Too much hard work for me.lol

  18. #18

    Re: Chasing Straight Women

    Quote Originally Posted by Gearbox View Post
    I get carried away on occasion. If I don't understand, I compare. But you should hear them sometimes, they are remarkably similar to missionaries, and I'm def not unobtainable sexually, just sexuality-wise.LOL!
    There's one straight bloke in the world that I really fantasise about, and he led me to suspect his sexuality. Others that are 'off limits' are just nice to look at, and great if they were at least bi, to me. So I probably just don't get the pursuit of them. Too much hard work for me.lol
    Attraction makes us do the silliest things and often we make fools of ourselves.. I have, mostly when in my teens, but occasionally since. The mystery is why certain people turn us on and why we go to such great lengths to have our wicked way, not that we do.. and the sexuality of our prey is unimportant.. we are driven by what heart and mind tells us and often ignore the common sense with which we were born.. it sounds predatory and I suppose it is, some of us are or have been just a little more predatory than others..
    Do not think so little of me as to grant me your tolerance. Allow me your acceptance and understanding of who and what I am with the love, respect and dignity with which I do you.

  19. #19

    Re: Chasing Straight Women

    Quote Originally Posted by Gearbox View Post
    Oh! Don't want to speculate on her possible bi-phobia, as it's not in your interest I see.
    no, its cos I generally do not label people as biphobic... unless I hear them slamming or rubbishing bisexuals.... its too easy to read things into what people say in articles..... but I like to hear it from them as a independent source

    what a person writes in a article, is not always a expression of their true feelings and beliefs, so I err on the side of caution and perfer to hear the bi phobia from their own mouths.... not a article that may have been thru the hands of a editor and ok'ed for publication......cos it may well be the editor that is a biphobic person, not the writer....
    The only thing more painful than a broken heart, is catching yourself in your zip and having very cold hands

  20. #20

    Re: Chasing Straight Women

    Quote Originally Posted by Long Duck Dong View Post
    no, its cos I generally do not label people as biphobic... unless I hear them slamming or rubbishing bisexuals.... its too easy to read things into what people say in articles..... but I like to hear it from them as a independent source

    what a person writes in a article, is not always a expression of their true feelings and beliefs, so I err on the side of caution and perfer to hear the bi phobia from their own mouths.... not a article that may have been thru the hands of a editor and ok'ed for publication......cos it may well be the editor that is a biphobic person, not the writer....
    I agree with u here Duckie.. but also it might be that she is just bi-forgetful as much as anything.. the Guardian is the most supportive newspaper we have on lgbt issues.. but it too can be a bit bi-forgetful sometimes.. it doesn't necessarily mean someone is bi-phobic, and the Guardian as a publication certainly isn't that, but when individuals write and have articles published in that or any newspaper, it can mean that, because the article may have been sought by that newspaper but as is often the case, it does not necessarily reflect the view of that journal, its trustees or its owners..
    Do not think so little of me as to grant me your tolerance. Allow me your acceptance and understanding of who and what I am with the love, respect and dignity with which I do you.

  21. #21

    Re: Chasing Straight Women

    Quote Originally Posted by Long Duck Dong View Post
    no, its cos I generally do not label people as biphobic... unless I hear them slamming or rubbishing bisexuals.... its too easy to read things into what people say in articles..... but I like to hear it from them as a independent source

    what a person writes in a article, is not always a expression of their true feelings and beliefs, so I err on the side of caution and perfer to hear the bi phobia from their own mouths.... not a article that may have been thru the hands of a editor and ok'ed for publication......cos it may well be the editor that is a biphobic person, not the writer....
    Shame that policy doesn't include blaming everybody and everything other than the person in question though:
    Quote Originally Posted by LDD
    it begs the question, who is denying the bisexuality.... the author who refers to the ladies as some being bi curious but doesn't label people as bisexuals in denial... or the ladies themselves that can be bisexual / bi curious and do not want that fact known........
    its a far better thing that she acknowledged the bi curious and lgbt as she understood it and left it at that,... than made statements about bisexuals and bisexuality that were in error and incurred the wrath of the bisexual community for *labelling * them...... or in this case, not labelling them....
    but the article was actually about the lesbian getting the straight women.... not so much about how many of the straight women were bisexuals or bisexuals in denial......
    Etc.....

    It's called 'Spin Doctering' with a pro G&B and anti B stance. Which gives you this muddled view of the same thing:
    and other posts about how bisexual females can feel pressured to have sex with other females for the benefit of their partners
    any ways, it is a interesting article about some of the mischief that the lesbian ladies get up to....
    She may not be biphobic, but how the Hell could you tell with your double standards?

    @ Fran- For a LGBT friendly tabloid, they've done a great job to inspire homophobia, if not bi-erasure. What Guardian reading hetero woman is not going to suspect any lesbian that tries to befriend her, of grooming?
    The article wouldn't have had the same connotations if the word "Bisexual" was used instead of "Straight" & "Not so straight"! Bi women wouldn't feel so threatened, if at all. But straight women (proper straight.lol) as targets for lesbians? My sis would shit herself!lol

  22. #22

    Re: Chasing Straight Women

    Quote Originally Posted by darkeyes View Post
    I agree with u here Duckie.. but also it might be that she is just bi-forgetful as much as anything.. the Guardian is the most supportive newspaper we have on lgbt issues.. but it too can be a bit bi-forgetful sometimes.. it doesn't necessarily mean someone is bi-phobic, and the Guardian as a publication certainly isn't that, but when individuals write and have articles published in that or any newspaper, it can mean that, because the article may have been sought by that newspaper but as is often the case, it does not necessarily reflect the view of that journal, its trustees or its owners..
    darkeyes
    "a bit bi-forgetful" by a newspaper media like the Guardian is BI INVISIBILITY/Bi Erasure. Whether intentional or accidental, it is what it is...not "a bit bi forgetful"

  23. #23

    Re: Chasing Straight Women

    well gearbox, its a lesbian female talking about the LGBT.... and you are not happy about it... so as a bisexual male, maybe you would like to write articles for the paper in support of the LGBT and pro bi aspect......

    if you have a issue with a lesbian female not talking about the bi community.... then contact the newspaper about it.........

    all I really have to say, is look at the reactions in the thread over Mr gay world, for talking about supporting the LGBT community ( including the bi community ) and the remarks about how he did not represent the bi community so should not be speaking on behalf of them...... then read this thread again and see how a lesbian author is being labeled as wrong for not talking about the activities of the bi community


    dammed if they do, dammed if they don't............
    The only thing more painful than a broken heart, is catching yourself in your zip and having very cold hands

  24. #24

    Re: Chasing Straight Women

    Hang on LDD! Fran is a lesbian and She doesn't sound too happy about it either. Nor, by the comments on the link, are lots of others of various sexualities. They are called 'People'. It's not a 'Bi Vs Lesbian' thing!
    Nope! Just because the author is a lesbian, doesn't mean she's doing LGBT ANY favours, or excuses her from criticism. Make no mistake, if she was a bi female talking shit(IMO) and referring to gay males as 'not so monosexual', you'd see me right here saying pretty much the same things! I couldn't give a toss what sexuality she is!

    The author isn't being criticised for not talking about the bi community at all! And not everybody thinks a gay beauty contest represents bisexuals either. Nor do every gay, lesbian or transgender think it represents them. So what?

    I've already read the thread, and of course noticed (yet again) that you are extremely biased in your views of people depending on their sexuality. I think it's VERY interesting, and have noticed the same thing in others. If that could be explored honestly it might actually be of benefit. In my guesstamate you view ALL gays&lesbians as victims, and you 'defend/excuse' them regardless of what they actually are individually. And you view bisexuals as 'not victims', so you have no qualms saying exactly what you feel like about them regardless of what they actually are individually.

    Might be interesting.

  25. #25

    Re: Chasing Straight Women

    I have refrained from commenting on this story but the more I read it the more it kinda irritates me. The author's choice of title is making it sound as though every heterosexual woman is just dying to be "flipped" by a lesbian. In my opinion, you don't "flip" anyone. They either are or are not curious. You can't make a straight person bi, you can't make a straight person gay, you can't make a lesbian bi or straight, you can't make a gay bi or straight and you can't make a bi straight or gay/lesbian. In short you can't make anyone be anything that they don't want to be. Are there instances of people who were bi but now gay? Sure, just as there are instances of gays who are now bi. But buying into the propoganda of "flipping" is just not something I want to do. Was the author dismissing the "not so straight" and not giving credit for bicuriosity? Maybe, but remember it was her personal "blog/article", her opinion. I don't happen to agree with it, but not because she is anything but an author making a statement I don't like.
    Standing hand in hand with my love

    Cara ch' 'm blaidd



  26. #26

    Re: Chasing Straight Women

    Quote Originally Posted by Gearbox View Post
    Hang on LDD! Fran is a lesbian and She doesn't sound too happy about it either. Nor, by the comments on the link, are lots of others of various sexualities. They are called 'People'. It's not a 'Bi Vs Lesbian' thing!
    Nope! Just because the author is a lesbian, doesn't mean she's doing LGBT ANY favours, or excuses her from criticism. Make no mistake, if she was a bi female talking shit(IMO) and referring to gay males as 'not so monosexual', you'd see me right here saying pretty much the same things! I couldn't give a toss what sexuality she is!

    The author isn't being criticised for not talking about the bi community at all! And not everybody thinks a gay beauty contest represents bisexuals either. Nor do every gay, lesbian or transgender think it represents them. So what?

    I've already read the thread, and of course noticed (yet again) that you are extremely biased in your views of people depending on their sexuality. I think it's VERY interesting, and have noticed the same thing in others. If that could be explored honestly it might actually be of benefit. In my guesstamate you view ALL gays&lesbians as victims, and you 'defend/excuse' them regardless of what they actually are individually. And you view bisexuals as 'not victims', so you have no qualms saying exactly what you feel like about them regardless of what they actually are individually.

    Might be interesting.

    nods, gearbox, .......

    I merely posted the article as a alternative view point, as I do with most things..... a point of view other than my own.....cos I have a interest in how others view the same world I live in... and the differences between cultures and sexualities..... and her point of view is a opinion, but a opinion that others do not share, is more often than not, resulting in people being labeled as phobic or in denial etc etc.....and fuck all of people posting their own experiences.... and that is what I miss... reading other peoples stories without the * bi phobic, bi erasure, bi invisibility, you're in denial, you are too scared to admit the truth * etc etc..... and no I am not denying the stuff exists.... but christ....its getting to the point that near every thing is going on and on about it.......

    as for the remarks about the articles, its cos more to do with the fact that its getting impossible to read a thread that is not full of accusations of phobic and erasure and how people are in denial etc etc......and I wish there was more bisexual articles posted, .... nudges drew lol..... and yes, I would surprised if there was no disagreements with what is written.......

    as for the Mr gay world thing, fair enuf, not everybody feels that he does...... and thats fine..... but my simple point was that he is standing up there and being visible...... most of the people that are complaining about stuff like that,... are not posting pro bi articles and articles about bi role models etc etc.... they are complaining cos there are none and how its wrong etc........so I thought that sharing different articles would stimulate conversation..... but yeah..... I am fast becoming like many of the other members and thinking why bother posting anything... cos they are not conversation starters, they are just more threads for people to be flamed and rubbished......

    the number of good articles, posts and requests for help in the site, are dropping faster than a hypersexuals pants at a orgy... and its a real shame....... and we can not blame that on the gay and les community or on biphobia and bi erasure and bi visibility... we can only blame that on ourselves.......

    so no... I am not disagreeing with you... I agree with you on a lot of points..... lol..... it just doesn't appear that way.....
    The only thing more painful than a broken heart, is catching yourself in your zip and having very cold hands

  27. #27

    Re: Chasing Straight Women

    Quote Originally Posted by Long Duck Dong View Post
    nods, gearbox, .......

    I merely posted the article as a alternative view point, as I do with most things..... a point of view other than my own.....cos I have a interest in how others view the same world I live in... and the differences between cultures and sexualities..... and her point of view is a opinion, but a opinion that others do not share, is more often than not, resulting in people being labeled as phobic or in denial etc etc.....and fuck all of people posting their own experiences.... and that is what I miss... reading other peoples stories without the * bi phobic, bi erasure, bi invisibility, you're in denial, you are too scared to admit the truth * etc etc..... and no I am not denying the stuff exists.... but christ....its getting to the point that near every thing is going on and on about it.......

    as for the remarks about the articles, its cos more to do with the fact that its getting impossible to read a thread that is not full of accusations of phobic and erasure and how people are in denial etc etc......and I wish there was more bisexual articles posted, .... nudges drew lol..... and yes, I would surprised if there was no disagreements with what is written.......

    as for the Mr gay world thing, fair enuf, not everybody feels that he does...... and thats fine..... but my simple point was that he is standing up there and being visible...... most of the people that are complaining about stuff like that,... are not posting pro bi articles and articles about bi role models etc etc.... they are complaining cos there are none and how its wrong etc........so I thought that sharing different articles would stimulate conversation..... but yeah..... I am fast becoming like many of the other members and thinking why bother posting anything... cos they are not conversation starters, they are just more threads for people to be flamed and rubbished......

    the number of good articles, posts and requests for help in the site, are dropping faster than a hypersexuals pants at a orgy... and its a real shame....... and we can not blame that on the gay and les community or on biphobia and bi erasure and bi visibility... we can only blame that on ourselves.......

    so no... I am not disagreeing with you... I agree with you on a lot of points..... lol..... it just doesn't appear that way.....
    @LDD- Why wouldn't your own honest personal opinion teach you about the world you live in? If we all gave false perspectives, we'd learn nothing about anyone or ourselves. We could write articles about how Mira Hindley was misunderstood etc (FUCK! That made me a little self repulsed just to type!). No, fek that! Best stick to honest opinion.
    Honest is what Staceyann comes across as. Which is admirable! She's also an out n proud lesbian. Admirable again.
    She has trouble with the word "Bisexual", when describing 'not so straight' women, which is why her article is here, so no shock the that you'd read "Biphobia"&"Bi-erasure", much like you'd read "Homophobia" a LOT on gay sites.
    She also comes across as a self gratifying sexual predator with no interest in how that effects other lesbians or hetero women, or herself and future 'conquests' Doh!.
    She doesn't represent ALL lesbian-kind! She represents herself, and any criticism is aimed at HER, not lesbians in general. Guardian readers may not see it that way. It wasn't explained that the article was about HER, and not lesbians! Although you'd think it was the latter if you read it. Thank fek Fran only READS the Guardian.

    LOL! No, her life as a highly respected teacher and pillar of the community would have to be spiced up a bit to get in the Guardian after Staceyann's performance. (Or would it? ).

    I would hope that nobody would be pro-bi at the cost of anti-gay or anything else. There are LOTS of anti-bi gays, and to think otherwise is absurd. To judge ALL gays by them is stupid too. They represent themselves as prejudice, not gay, as do any bi's that are anti-gay and whatever. Prejudice stands alone IMO.

    If I were to be visible and write an article for the Guardian, I'd be sure to give a big "Thank you" to all the gay men out there who DIDN'T give a toss that I was bi, and just got on with the sex.lol I couldn't do the same for my dating experiences, unfortunately. But it's early days yet, so I'll hold my tongue until I got something more positive to write about.

  28. #28

    Re: Chasing Straight Women

    lol gearbox, you want my honest opinion on the female ??? you can have it.....

    Shes a middle twenties type female that is questioning the world around her and looking for her own sphere of self empowerment. lives in a shared situation with other people and is not as independent as she likes to express in her article, and that comes from a understanding that she is a *outcast * a person on the fringe of society and not somebody that is going to be fully accepted by her own community or any other....

    shes putting forward a image in the pic but its false and natural, posed if you like and that is the way that much of her life is, and the reason for that is that she feels trapped, her heads a mess, her thoughts entangled and shes scared.... as for not saying the word bisexual, she is afraid of the word as if its some kind of power word that is like a spiders web...... the way she refers to people, is in the way that people that have internal and sublimal fears, can express themselves, they like to reach out and play with the fire that could burn them and that is ever present in the back of her mind as she plays the games she does....

    the lesbian * matriarchal * understanding that lesbians do not have any interest in males, they are a sub species of the human race, the defective gene pool.. is something that she battles with, and it comes out in her writing but as a subtle aspect... she carefully works around talking about the females partners, and focuses on the single female, not the women out for a ladies night out, that may have sex with their female friends, with or with the male partner or the dreaded bisexual.... so she focuses on the single, not so straight female, the one that * longs to change sides but is trapped within the heterosexual chains of society *... and the author wants the freedom of the heterosexual relationship but non of the trappings, like the dreaded male or the OMG bisexual condition that hands around some females like a spectre of impending penis love.....

    the author is not bi phobic, its not bisexuals or bisexuality that she has the issue with... its the social trappings and stigma of sexuality that is a key issue with her... and she doesn't want to be seen to be being friendly with the *enemy * the evil bisexual, so she words her article to touch on the bi curious without mentioning the B word directly..... to do so, is to incur the wrath of the lesbian kind as a sexuality traitor for acknowledging bisexuality as a sexuality... and not * those people *

    so she reaches out, touches and enjoys the presence of other ladies, in a * safe * way.... the memory of her own connection with a heterosexual female ( not bisexual ) and the way that the female was drawn back to the BF, are things that she feels inside.... and when writing, she fights with her understanding of bisexuality and thinks of the false images about bisexuality... and realises that it may be true.... that bisexuals are trapped in their own circular need and desire for sex and love, but never finding peace and the ability to settle...... cos that makes what she feels inside herself..... she doesn't want to be tied down either... but her issue is that shes not monogamous natured either..... so a way around that, is the bar hunt for the single * white meat *, that will disappear into the night later on, to who knows where........

    so she remains single, the huntress, the spider in a web of her own making.... within a cocoon of social defined sexuality..... not bi phobic, but scared to address her own fears in her own writings, by using the term, bisexual.....in case, her own kind turn on her.........
    The only thing more painful than a broken heart, is catching yourself in your zip and having very cold hands

  29. #29

    Re: Chasing Straight Women

    post 25 (Gear)
    "I've already read the thread, and of course noticed (yet again) that you are extremely biased in your views of people depending on their sexuality. .....In my guesstamate you view ALL gays&lesbians as victims, and you 'defend/excuse' them regardless of what they actually are individually. And you view bisexuals as 'not victims', so you have no qualms saying exactly what you feel like about them regardless of what they actually are individually."

    post 27 (LDD)

    "I merely posted the article as a alternative view point, as I do with most things..... a point of view other than my own........ and that is what I miss... reading other peoples stories without the * bi phobic, bi erasure, bi invisibility, you're in denial, you are too scared to admit the truth * etc etc..... and no I am not denying the stuff exists.... but christ....its getting to the point that near every thing is going on and on about it......."


    LDD didn't post this article. darkeyes did?

    I may be wrong but I don't see anyone other than LDD having been accused of being biphobic on this site?

    When I read LDD posts I do read a mocking snear/dismissal in his words that communicate a disrespect of the issue of biphobia and Bi Invisibility. His words come across as though he doesn't believe that there is biphobia but there is homophobia. This is similar to Gear's comment about perceiving G&L as victims while bisexuals are not victims. That is biphobic.

    A lot of the tension on this site comes from people reacting to the behaviour of LDD attempts at wanting to present an "alternative view". That and his campaign to present himself as a martry makes others run to "protect him". We don't need LDD setting himself up as "teacher" let alone a martyr teacher. It isn't working as he comes across as not fighting Bi Invisibility and appears to be biphobic.

    His failure to comprehend that a "Mr Gay World" should/can not represent bisexual men is not only off topic (again) but a example of bisexual politics and Bi Invisibility. Mr. Gay World represents gay men only. The fact that LDD choses to not accept this speaks volumes about his beliefs on Bi Invisibility and indicates his biphobia.

  30. #30

    Re: Chasing Straight Women

    Quote Originally Posted by tenni View Post
    post 25 (Gear)
    "I've already read the thread, and of course noticed (yet again) that you are extremely biased in your views of people depending on their sexuality. .....In my guesstamate you view ALL gays&lesbians as victims, and you 'defend/excuse' them regardless of what they actually are individually. And you view bisexuals as 'not victims', so you have no qualms saying exactly what you feel like about them regardless of what they actually are individually."

    post 27 (LDD)

    "I merely posted the article as a alternative view point, as I do with most things..... a point of view other than my own........ and that is what I miss... reading other peoples stories without the * bi phobic, bi erasure, bi invisibility, you're in denial, you are too scared to admit the truth * etc etc..... and no I am not denying the stuff exists.... but christ....its getting to the point that near every thing is going on and on about it......."


    LDD didn't post this article. darkeyes did?

    I may be wrong but I don't see anyone other than LDD having been accused of being biphobic on this site?

    When I read LDD posts I do read a mocking snear/dismissal in his words that communicate a disrespect of the issue of biphobia and Bi Invisibility. His words come across as though he doesn't believe that there is biphobia but there is homophobia. This is similar to Gear's comment about perceiving G&L as victims while bisexuals are not victims. That is biphobic.

    A lot of the tension on this site comes from people reacting to the behaviour of LDD attempts at wanting to present an "alternative view". That and his campaign to present himself as a martry makes others run to "protect him". We don't need LDD setting himself up as "teacher" let alone a martyr teacher. It isn't working as he comes across as not fighting Bi Invisibility and appears to be biphobic.

    His failure to comprehend that a "Mr Gay World" should/can not represent bisexual men is not only off topic (again) but a example of bisexual politics and Bi Invisibility. Mr. Gay World represents gay men only. The fact that LDD choses to not accept this speaks volumes about his beliefs on Bi Invisibility and indicates his biphobia.
    You know Tenni if you would actually read what you say you read, you'd know they were talking about the Mr. Gay World article which he did post as well. Quit making an utter fool of yourself.
    Standing hand in hand with my love

    Cara ch' 'm blaidd



 

 

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