I'm a bisexual guy in my early thirties. When I say "bisexual" I mean I'm sexually attracted to guys. I fall exclusively in love with women and love to eat pussy - but sometimes I also feel the urge to suck some cock and be fucked by men (which I've done a couple of times with gay guys and bisexual and gay couples back in my single days).
Roughly a year and a half ago I had a rather short but steamy sexual affair with a girl whom I didn't connect with all that well on other levels. But the sex was great and uninhibited. She straddled me with a strap-on, loved a rough treatment herself, sat on my face and whatnot. Eventually things came to an end on my initiative.
After her I started dating another girl whom I eventually fell seriously in love with. We share the same sense of humour, enjoy talking endlessly and get along well with each others' friends and family members. Because of the emotional connection, the sex - or should I say love making - feels wonderful on a very different level than with my previous girlfriend(s). I've confided with her that I am bi and have a history of bisexual group sex, pegging and so forth and she's totally alright with it.
So I've done correctly and laid all my kink cards face up on the table in the beginning, right? But here's the problem: something's missing. I feel that it wouldn't feel right being pegged by the possible mother of my future children, as fucked up as that sounds. Also she is a bit more neurotic and passive in bed than the ex-girlfriend with whom I had so much fun having sex. I also worry about how a monogamous relationship - that she feels strongly for - would work for us with me being bi and having occasionally the urge to have emotionally detached, wild sex with men and possibly other women and couples too.
For the last couple of months we've been going through a rough patch. She has some psychological issues and we haven't been having lots of sex lately. This has led me back to Craigslist and other dating sites to reply to those personals by bi-couples or gay guys - but only to feed my fantasies. At least for the moment, I'm not seriously thinking about having sex with other people behind my girlfriend's back. And I'm pretty sure we'll bounce back to our satisfactory sex life after she gets her head back together.
My question is: is it possible to lead a "normal" family life in a monogamous relationship when I also occasionally feel the need to fuck around? Can those feelings be suppressed? Should I still try to pursue proposing an open (or a "monogamish") relationship with her? Or should I just call it quits, refrain from serious, long term future relationships, abandon my dreams of having a family of my own and follow my sexual urges? Is there any way so that I could have the cake and eat it too?
I'd welcome any experiences by guys in the same situation!
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