how to know if a guy i like is interested in me? im a bi closet guy

**chad2012** · May 30, 2012, 10:29 PM

pls help me im having a hardtime figuring out if the guy im attracted too is also attracted to me i started giving him eye contact and smile and he response he look at me too and smile we always do that until he approach me and talk to me he introduced him self and ask my name but while we talk he talk about his gf it hurts me i also give him hand shake and squeez his hands its ok with him the next day he initiate the handshaking and squeez my hands too sometimes his ignoring me and doesnt want to look sometimes we lock eye contact pls help me is he interested in me too or his just being too friendly am i getting the right vibe?

**matutum** · May 31, 2012, 12:22 PM

ask him

**Realist** · May 31, 2012, 2:08 PM

Maybe you could ask him to meet you for a drink, or cup of coffee.......see what interests you have in common. You'll need to develop some level of rapport....don't rush into anything. You'll soon know if he's interested in meeting you again.

If he agrees to meet again, you could begin fishing for more of his provocative thoughts, attitudes toward different lifestyles, etc, etc. This procedure has worked for me.

You're gonna have to take a chance...if he hasn't used his own initiative to communicate with you, you're gonna have to be the one to make the first move.

Good luck!

**Cherokee_Mountaincat** · May 31, 2012, 2:26 PM

Nothing ventured, nothing gained, Dearheart. Make the first move. Ask him for drinks or lunch and proceed slowly, like Real suggested. Feel him out (not up) and see wharre his mindset is. If he isnt interested sexually, then you still may make a good friend, and if he IS interested, then three is an awful interesting number. *Wink*
Good luck Hon.
Cat

**chad2012** · May 31, 2012, 8:16 PM

Originally Posted by Cherokee_Mountaincat

Nothing ventured, nothing gained, Dearheart. Make the first move. Ask him for drinks or lunch and proceed slowly, like Real suggested. Feel him out (not up) and see wharre his mindset is. If he isnt interested sexually, then you still may make a good friend, and if he IS interested, then three is an awful interesting number. *Wink*
Good luck Hon.
Cat

thanks for the advice he always greet me and he talk to me he share his secrets even im not asking and he always talks about his gf i always caught him staring at me and we lock eyes sometimes he doesn't want to look his ignoring me but sometimes he also come up to me and say whats up how are you my problem is i dont know what to say to prolong the conversation im scared of asking him out he might think im gay he might tell everybody that im bisexual his my co worker

**chad2012** · May 31, 2012, 8:17 PM

thanks for the advice he always greet me and he talk to me he share his secrets even im not asking and he always talks about his gf i always caught him staring at me and we lock eyes sometimes he doesn't want to look his ignoring me but sometimes he also come up to me and say whats up? how are you? my problem is i dont know what to say to prolong the conversation im scared of asking him out he might think im gay he might tell everybody that im bisexual his my co worker

**chad2012** · May 31, 2012, 10:39 PM

Originally Posted by drugstore cowboy

Chad find some other guy who is not your co-worker and who you don't work with. It sounds as though you're way too hopeful about this guy or even projecting yourself onto this guy when he's just a friendly co-worker. Based on what you've written about him nothing jumps out at me to say that he's bisexual or that he's even interested in you sexually, or having a 3 way with you and his girlfriend. Either way this is someone who you work with and it's never good to shit where you eat as the saying goes. Even if hypothetically this guy is bisexual or gay, and you do wind up having sex with him no matter how much you try to keep it a secret since you work with this guy everyone where you work will be able to tell and since you are closeted I doubt you want this to happen. You're in NYC it's not that difficult to meet other bisexual and gay men. If you can't find someone there in NYC you won't find them anywhere.

thanks bro but i cant help my feelings anymore im really attracted to this guy i show a hint that im interested on him i stare at him smile but i never approach him he did the first move he introduced him self and he is nice to me i think i can keep it secret if ever he is bi sexual too in my whole life i manage to keep my sexuality a secret i have a gf too and we are engage crazy! lol

**ExSailor** · Jun 1, 2012, 12:55 AM

I would avoid this guy you wrote about Chad. It's always possible that he's straight and he's not going to be interested in having sex with you if that's the case. As DC posted he's a co-worker. You're in NYC dude! It's so easy to meet anyone who you want to have sex with in NYC. I used to live in NYC back in the 60s and even back then when being bisexual or gay was illegal and even before Stonewall, you could easily find bisexual and gay men to have sex with. I would meet men just by walking around the village and Christopher street. It's A LOT easier now too. You don't even have to leave home or go to a bar, bath house, or a public sex venue. You can go on various sites or on cellphone apps and meet men that way. If you're engaged and in a relationship you at least owe it to your girlfriend/fiance to tell her that you're bisexual before you get married. It's not good to be closeted about your sexuality, or to keep secrets from people who you're in a relationship with.

**elian** · Jun 1, 2012, 4:59 PM

Yeah dude, it's one thing if you are curious, but if you know you are attracted to men for sure then hopefully your girl knows..

**welickit** · Jun 1, 2012, 8:15 PM

Interesting how broken English changed after a few replies. Must have been educated in America.

**bib4u** · Jun 3, 2012, 11:37 AM

Don't have affairs with people you work with! There are plenty others..NEVER at work!

**chad2012** · Jun 3, 2012, 2:13 PM

Originally Posted by bib4u

Don't have affairs with people you work with! There are plenty others..NEVER at work!

Why? I am really attracted to him i think we can keep it a secret friends with benefits not really a relationship just for sex! sex buddy.

**bib4u** · Jun 3, 2012, 5:10 PM

"IF" this is little more than entry level employment, go for it, otherwise, long term, it NEVER works!

**chad2012** · Jun 3, 2012, 6:04 PM

Originally Posted by bib4u

"IF" this is little more than entry level employment, go for it, otherwise, long term, it NEVER works!

But you think his attracted to me we lock eyes smile, looking and asking me to other employee when im absent

**BiDaveDtown** · Jun 3, 2012, 6:33 PM

How many times do we have to tell you? Find some other guy. Find a man who you don't work with but don't go about cheating on your GF or fiance who you wrote about, tell her that you are bisexual. You're in NYC so you have no excuses at all. If you really wanted to you could easily find a man no matter where you are, and it would not be someone who you work with. When I as younger and single I lived in small towns in rural areas and even I could find single bisexual and gay men to date. It'a a very bad idea to get involved romantically, sexually, or to date someone who you work with. Even if you just want him as a fuck buddy and claim to keep it all a secret eventually everyone where you work will know that you're having sex with each other. People make eye contact when they communicate with each other. It does not mean that he's even bisexual or gay, or that even if he is bi or gay that he wants sex with you. You're co-workers and I am not sure based on your last post what he does at all when you're absent?

**chad2012** · Jun 3, 2012, 7:34 PM

Originally Posted by BiDaveDtown

How many times do we have to tell you? Find some other guy. Find a man who you don't work with but don't go about cheating on your GF or fiance who you wrote about, tell her that you are bisexual. You're in NYC so you have no excuses at all. If you really wanted to you could easily find a man no matter where you are, and it would not be someone who you work with. When I as younger and single I lived in small towns in rural areas and even I could find single bisexual and gay men to date. It'a a very bad idea to get involved romantically, sexually, or to date someone who you work with. Even if you just want him as a fuck buddy and claim to keep it all a secret eventually everyone where you work will know that you're having sex with each other. People make eye contact when they communicate with each other. It does not mean that he's even bisexual or gay, or that even if he is bi or gay that he wants sex with you. You're co-workers and I am not sure based on your last post what he does at all when you're absent?

theres something in his eyes that i feel he is bi, he stares at me he pays attention right away if a say something he squeez my hands when we do handshake but yes i think its hard to have sexual relationship with co workers specially if your in the closet pls help me find a staright acting bi men like me, my gf doesnt need to know i want to build a happy family with her

**chad2012** · Jun 3, 2012, 7:38 PM

everybody say eye contact is the best weapon you can tell if you stare at a straight guy he look but not stare their is difference between straight and bi guy glance if the girls have this women intuition so with bisexual guys and you have to go for that intuition right?