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  1. #1

    For those wondeing what biphobia is and what it looks like

    WHAT DOES BIPHOBIA LOOK LIKE? * Assuming that everyone you meet is either heterosexual or homosexual. * Supporting and understanding a bisexual identity for young people because you identified “that way” before you came to your “real” lesbian/gay/heterosexual identity. * Expecting a bisexual to identify as heterosexual when coupled with the so called different gender/sex. * Believing bisexual men spread AIDS/HIV to heterosexuals. * Thinking bisexual people haven’t made up their minds or are confused about their sexuality. * Thinking that a bisexual person is lying about their sexuality and is actually straight or gay. * Assuming that bisexual men spread HIV and other STDs to gay men and straight women. * Assuming a bisexual person would want to fulfill your sexual fantasies or curiosities. * Assuming bisexuals would be willing to “pass” as anything other than bisexual. * Feeling that bisexual people are too outspoken and pushy about their visibility and rights. * Automatically assuming romantic couplings of two women are lesbian, or two men are gay, or a man and a woman are heterosexual. * Expecting bisexual people to get services, information, and education from heterosexual service agencies for their “heterosexual side” (sic) and then go to gay and/or lesbian service agencies for their “homosexual side” (sic). * Feeling bisexuals just want to have their cake and eat it too. * Believing that bisexual women spread AIDS/HIV to lesbians. * Using the terms “phase” or “stage” or “confused” or “fence-sitter” or “bisexual” or “AC/DC” or “switch-hitter” as slurs or in an accusatory way. * Thinking bisexuals only have committed relationships with so called different sex/gender partners. * Looking at a bisexual person and automatically thinking of their sexuality rather than seeing them as a whole, complete person. * Assuming that bisexuals, if given the choice, would prefer to be in an different gender/sex coupling to reap the social benefits of a so-called “heterosexual” pairing [sic]. * Not confronting a biphobic remark or joke for fear of being identified as bisexual. * Assuming bisexual means “available.” * Thinking that bisexual people will have their rights when lesbian and gay people win theirs. * Assuming that bisexuals are closeted and don't want to fight for LGBT or gay rights. * Claiming that homophobia is horrible, while being biphobic and practicing bisexual erasure is excusable and OK. * Claiming that biphobia and bisexual erasure don't exist or are over-exaggerated by bisexuals and LGBTH allies to bisexuals. * Claming that bisexual's equality and rights aren't that important compared to the equality and rights of gays and lesbians. * Being gay or lesbian and asking your bisexual friend about their lover or whom they are dating only when that person is the “same” sex/gender. * Being gay or lesbian and being dissappointed when you learn that someone is bisexual and not gay or lesbian. * Believing bisexuals are confused about their sexuality. * Feeling that you can’t trust a bisexual because they aren’t really gay or lesbian, or aren’t really heterosexual, and that someone coming out as bisexual means someone’s closeted or can’t be trusted and isn’t telling the truth about their sexuality. * Expecting a bisexual to identify as gay or lesbian when coupled with the “same” sex/gender. * Saying that you’d never date, sleep with, or enter into a relationship with a bisexual person. * Claiming that the rights of bisexuals don’t matter and that political and equality for gays and lesbians is more important and pressing. * Expecting bisexual activists and organizers to minimize bisexual issues (i.e. HIV/AIDS, violence, basic civil rights, fighting the Right, military, same-sex marriage, child custody, adoption, etc.) and to prioritize the visibility of so called “lesbian and/or gay” issues. * Avoid mentioning to friends that you are involved with a bisexual or working with a bisexual group because you are afraid they will think you are a bisexual. * Claiming that most bisexuals are content to fight for LGBT rights when they are single and then they disappear into a "heterosexual" relationship or marriage and stop fighting for LGBT rights and equality.

  2. #2

    Re: For those wondeing what biphobia is and what it looks like

    I'm too busy living my life, dealing with what is now to be described only as insanity in this country, to even pay a mind to what biphobia looks like, smells like or what any one person thinks of it. I'll go one further; my upstairs neighbor is a lesbian and she has one nasty ass girl friend. The fact that she is a lesbian doesn't bother me at all, what bothers me is that she is a total friggen asshole......just goes to show ya, the beautiful people aren't so beautiful after all, they're just like the rest of us.
    Last edited by nutme; Apr 27, 2012 at 1:11 AM.

  3. #3

    Re: For those wondeing what biphobia is and what it looks like

    What is biphobia? Biphobia is an extreme and irrational fear of bisexuals and bisexuality.. any or all of these points u raise can be symptomatic of biphobia, but equally many can be simply the misunderstanding of those who don't know or merely a disagreement between different viewpoints.. misunderstandings or disagreements on issues do not in themselves denote biphobia.. they do not of themselves necessarily arise from an irrational or extreme fear... even taken as a bloc does not necessarily infer biphobia.. they may infer the prejudice of the bigot but that's quite another related issue... and no, I am not denying the existence of biphobia before u decide to have another rant...
    Do not think so little of me as to grant me your tolerance. Allow me your acceptance and understanding of who and what I am with the love, respect and dignity with which I do you.

  4. #4

    Re: For those wondeing what biphobia is and what it looks like

    Thanks BiDave. It is an interesting list and an interesting reaction by some.

    Did you come up with these ideas on your own or where did you get this list?

  5. #5

    Re: For those wondeing what biphobia is and what it looks like

    I gotta agree with nutme. Who cares?

    It's hardly like biphobia affects the planet in any meaningful way.

    But I guess nowadays everyone is looking to play the victim for some cause.

  6. #6

    Re: For those wondeing what biphobia is and what it looks like

    Slippy
    Out of curiousity, does your attitude hold the same for say politics? injustice done to others than yourself?

    Do you care about say the Harper government issues about the jet purchases?

  7. #7

    Re: For those wondeing what biphobia is and what it looks like

    Quote Originally Posted by slipnslide View Post
    I gotta agree with nutme. Who cares?

    It's hardly like biphobia affects the planet in any meaningful way.

    But I guess nowadays everyone is looking to play the victim for some cause.
    If it affects just one person then it is something to care about.. and it affects far more than just one person..it affects millions, no hundreds of millions around the world.. phobias of all kind create pressures and stresses on human beings and create paranoia, suspicion, persecution, crime, oppression and wars.. these phobias do create victims... homophobia, biphobia, xenophobia all create victims and do affect this world in a meaningful way because they adversely affect the victims of those phobias.. and by not dealing with the root causes of those phobias, those who are phobic are every bit as much a victim of phobia as any other.. for their lives are blighted by fear and irrationality and their humanity poisoned as a result.. not affect our planet in a meaningful way? A foolish, naive, ignorant and very dangerous thing to say..
    Do not think so little of me as to grant me your tolerance. Allow me your acceptance and understanding of who and what I am with the love, respect and dignity with which I do you.

  8. #8

    Re: For those wondeing what biphobia is and what it looks like

    Here's Wikipedia's description of HOMOPHOBIA:
    Homophobia is a range of negative attitudes and feelings towards homosexuality or people who are identified as or perceived as being homosexual. Definitions[1][2][3] refer variably to antipathy, contempt, prejudice, aversion, and irrational fear. Homophobia is observable in critical and hostile behavior such as discrimination[1][2] and violence on the basis of a non-heterosexual orientation. In a 1998 address, author, activist, and civil rights leader Coretta Scott King stated that "Homophobia is like racism and anti-Semitism and other forms of bigotry in that it seeks to dehumanize a large group of people, to deny their humanity, their dignity and personhood."[4]

    Among some of the more discussed forms of homophobia are institutionalized homophobia (e.g. religious homophobia and state-sponsored homophobia[5]), lesbophobia[6] – the intersection of homophobia and sexism directed against lesbians, and internalized homophobia – a form of homophobia among people who experience same-sex attraction regardless of whether or not they identify as LGBT.

    Two words originate from homophobia: homophobic (adj.) and homophobe (n.), the latter word describing a person who displays homophobia or is thought to do so.
    And here's Wikipedia's description of BIPHOBIA:
    Biphobia is a term used to describe aversion felt toward bisexuality and bisexuals as a social group or as individuals. People of any sexual orientation can experience such feelings of aversion. A source of discrimination against bisexuals, biphobia is based on negative bisexual stereotypes and bisexual erasure.

    Click image for larger version. 

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    Homophobia is bayd! Mmmkay? Homphobes are Nazi's and like racists and dehumanise people Mmmkay? Gays and lesbians are criticised by evil people who are bayd mmkay? There's no reason to say bayd things about them, and if you do your a bayd person! MmmKay? Homosexuals are discriminated against! We should just stop that! Mmmkay?
    Biphobia is bayd! Mmmkay? Biphobes are ...umm.. not bayd!Mmkay? Don't feel bayd if your a biphobe! Mmmkay? There are reasons to be biphobic, cos some bisexuals do bayd things! Mmmkay? So I heard, anyways. I think so. Mmmmm?
    So biphobia is bayd, but biphobes are not bayd. Mmkay?

  9. #9

    Re: For those wondeing what biphobia is and what it looks like

    LOL Gearbox....I ALWAYS listen to Mr. Mackey!
    Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one."

    C. S. Lewis

  10. #10

    Re: For those wondeing what biphobia is and what it looks like

    This is not to write oh poor us but another point to pay attention to is that bisexuals may also have to deal with homophobia as well as biphobia. It is a double barrelled phobic discrimination...even from within our own ranks. It seems that way sometimes. May a bisexual be biphobic? Yes.

    Not all concepts are presented cleanly and biphobic as these statements. I have found that they may vary from the ones posted. Here are some of the statements that I have read on this site with some variations.

    * Claiming that biphobia and bisexual are over-exaggerated (or don't exist) by bisexuals and LGBTH allies to bisexuals. (not important)

    * Assuming that bisexual men spread HIV and other STDs to gay men and straight women.(except it was biwomen)

    * Claiming that bisexual's equality and rights aren't that important compared to the equality and rights of gays and lesbians. (written in a slightly different way...word "human rights" were used)
    * Thinking that bisexual people will have their rights when lesbian and gay people win theirs.(similar diminishing of of significance of biphobia as above)

    *Claiming that homophobia is horrible, while being biphobic and practicing bisexual erasure is excusable and OK. (written in a slightly different way and the idea is spread over multi posts..a layering of small biphobic or anti bisexual statements. Reasons given is that it is an alternative view to help bisexuals see themselves etc.)
    Last edited by tenni; Apr 27, 2012 at 9:51 AM.

  11. #11

    Re: For those wondeing what biphobia is and what it looks like

    Quote Originally Posted by tenni View Post
    This is not to write oh poor us but another point to pay attention to is that bisexuals may also have to deal with homophobia as well as biphobia. It is a double barrelled phobic discrimination...even from within our own ranks. It seems that way sometimes. May a bisexual be biphobic? Yes.

    Not all concepts are presented cleanly and biphobic as these statements. I have found that they may vary from the ones posted. Here are some of the statements that I have read on this site with some variations.

    * Claiming that biphobia and bisexual are over-exaggerated (or don't exist) by bisexuals and LGBTH allies to bisexuals. (not important)

    * Assuming that bisexual men spread HIV and other STDs to gay men and straight women.(except it was biwomen)

    * Claiming that bisexual's equality and rights aren't that important compared to the equality and rights of gays and lesbians. (written in a slightly different way...word "human rights" were used)
    * Thinking that bisexual people will have their rights when lesbian and gay people win theirs.(similar diminishing of of significance of biphobia as above)

    *Claiming that homophobia is horrible, while being biphobic and practicing bisexual erasure is excusable and OK. (written in a slightly different way and the idea is spread over multi posts..a layering of small biphobic or anti bisexual statements. Reasons given is that it is an alternative view to help bisexuals see themselves etc.)
    wooo tenni..can't help but feel bullet points 3 an 4 are fired at me.. if so both r a bit of a twisting and a travesty of what I've said and believe...
    Do not think so little of me as to grant me your tolerance. Allow me your acceptance and understanding of who and what I am with the love, respect and dignity with which I do you.

  12. #12

    Re: For those wondeing what biphobia is and what it looks like

    Quote Originally Posted by slipnslide View Post
    I gotta agree with nutme. Who cares? It's hardly like biphobia affects the planet in any meaningful way. But I guess nowadays everyone is looking to play the victim for some cause.
    I guess we should ignore racism, and all forms of bigotry and discrimination then and not rally against them or call people out when they practise racism, bigotry, or discrimination even if it's biphobia and they are a gay man, lesbian woman, or heterosexual. People who go on and on about these things are purely professional victims looking to further their own political cause.

  13. #13

    Re: For those wondeing what biphobia is and what it looks like

    Quote Originally Posted by drugstore cowboy View Post
    Biphobia need not be a phobia as defined in clinical psychology (i.e., an anxiety disorder). You can bury your head in the sand, darkeyes (whilst claiming to be lesbian), and slipnslide (who claims he's bisexual) but biphobia and bisexual erasure are real, they do occur. And we WILL speak out against them.
    Good..and so u should... and loudly... shout it from rooftops... but do it right..and don't deny what is, or misrepresent what isn't...
    Do not think so little of me as to grant me your tolerance. Allow me your acceptance and understanding of who and what I am with the love, respect and dignity with which I do you.

  14. #14

    Re: For those wondeing what biphobia is and what it looks like

    Quote Originally Posted by tenni View Post
    This is not to write oh poor us but another point to pay attention to is that bisexuals may also have to deal with homophobia as well as biphobia. It is a double barrelled phobic discrimination...even from within our own ranks. It seems that way sometimes. May a bisexual be biphobic? Yes.

    Not all concepts are presented cleanly and biphobic as these statements. I have found that they may vary from the ones posted. Here are some of the statements that I have read on this site with some variations.

    * Claiming that biphobia and bisexual are over-exaggerated (or don't exist) by bisexuals and LGBTH allies to bisexuals. (not important)

    * Assuming that bisexual men spread HIV and other STDs to gay men and straight women.(except it was biwomen)

    * Claiming that bisexual's equality and rights aren't that important compared to the equality and rights of gays and lesbians. (written in a slightly different way...word "human rights" were used)
    * Thinking that bisexual people will have their rights when lesbian and gay people win theirs.(similar diminishing of of significance of biphobia as above)

    *Claiming that homophobia is horrible, while being biphobic and practicing bisexual erasure is excusable and OK.
    (written in a slightly different way and the idea is spread over multi posts..a layering of small biphobic or anti bisexual statements. Reasons given is that it is an alternative view to help bisexuals see themselves etc.)

    While well meaning, I don’t think it would be in the best interest of bisexual community to allow certain people to become our spokespersons especially on an important issue as discrimination against bisexuals or biphobia. We need a person with a solid track record of objectivity, not someone who hides behind an issue for ulterior purposes.

    In regards to the above post.

    1) The authors entire case regarding biphobia rests on what he/they perceive they see posted in an internet forum, this one, which they can’t even articulate on, other than offering some vague references. What is disturbing is the author raises issues that have never been said here, other than in his own mind. This author does more harm than good by trivializing this issue to reflect his dissatisfaction with individuals here in a forum and is acting in his own self-interest.

    2) On the UK site, “The Bisexual Index”, they state, in reference to biphobia;

    “What many people don't expect, and the above definition does set out, is that bisexual people suffer from homophobia too. The idea that identifying as bisexual is a way to avoid homophobia, or easier/safer than coming out as gay is a myth. "

    The people who hate us don't distinguish between us. In fact it's entirely possible to be discriminated against and bullied for being gay without actually being LGBT at all - it's about the perception” - http://www.bisexualindex.org.uk/index.php/Biphobia

    The author of this thread. takes great pains to separate bi and homophobia when in fact, they overlap. That is also emphasized in Robyn Ochs’ “Biphobia: It Goes More Than Two Ways” who states;

    In summary, invisibility, isolation, and oppression due to homophobia are experiences shared by bisexual and homosexual people in the United States. Any person may be a target of oppression when visible as lesbian, gay, or bisexual, and each suffers internally when forced to remain silent or repress feelings for people of the same sex. Whether the cause of this oppression is called "homophobia" or "biphobia," it hurts everyone. - http://www.robynochs.com/writing/essays/biphobia.html


    3) The author of this post claims; “Thinking that bisexual people will have their rights when lesbian and gay people win theirs”. Unfortunately, such an erroneous statement runs contrary to a report put out by the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force which states;

    “Bisexual people share an inclusive vision of human rights and social justice more than a narrowly defined "gay identity politics" could hope to achieve. The struggle to establish civil rights protections for bisexual people cannot be separated from the struggle to win freedom and equality for LGBT people.” - http://thetaskforce.org/issues/bisexuality

    While us bisexuals have issues that set us aside and are unique to our orientation, our quest for equal rights runs parallel to the LGBT and it is only within being unified that our voices are heard.
    `
    `

    Summary – As I had once brought up in another thread, the murders of Matthew Shepard did not stop to ask him if he was bisexual before they beat him to death. It didn’t matter. With many of these hateful people, if a man has sex with another man, he’s gay.

    When self-righteous Christians judge all homosexuals in perdition, they make no difference between gay, lesbian, bisexuals and transgendered.

    Biphobia and bisexual erasure are issues which we as a community need to address but larger, more pressing issues also face us that can cause much greater harm or deny us our rights under law.

    It’s an insult to the bisexual community for some members to take an issue like this and distort it to suit their own agenda. There are far more intellectually balanced people in this forum to handle this topic in an objective manner, where civil and learned discussion can take place.

  15. #15

    Re: For those wondeing what biphobia is and what it looks like

    It is is difficult for meto respond to you Aeon mainly because of my tablet as I am travelling presently. Your writing approach is far from consensual and a personal attack mode. How are we to have acivil discourse with suchan approach? You find my thoughts inarticulate and write from a position of assuming your superiority. I am indeed not an expert onbiphobia or bierasure. This forum is in its early days of discussing such topics. It may beless than a year. I do not live in the same society as you do. Things may differ here as to how these phobias exist.
    As far as statements made on this forum that may or may not be biphobic that is up for discussion. You may make biphobic statments or I may make them. The form of the thoughts maybe biphobic and it maybe possible at the core of the person is not a black nor white belief structure that might be seen by "expert" as a biphobic person.

    I will get back to you later. Cheers
    Last edited by tenni; Jun 16, 2012 at 5:30 AM.

  16. #16

    Re: For those wondeing what biphobia is and what it looks like

    I don't think tenni was putting himself forward as a spokesperson, Joan.. merely making an argument on something which he has strong opinions on... much as both u and I do.. tenni and I agree probably less than half the time on most issues and certainly on the issue of biphobia and bierasure... my idea of what biphobia is certainly is closer to yours than his, and some other posters... but at least he can be persuaded sometimes and does listen.. unlike1of6 and his/her/its/their rants..

    And tenni.. of course we would like consensus, but by arguing our corner we seek to reach consensus on our terms not another's.. as you believe, she believes differently, and as I do very often.. it is debate that brings us to consensus but very often we will never even come close, such is how dearly and deeply each of us holds our own beliefs.. persuasion if we can but we cannot always persuade, and if we began with consensus what would we have to debate? If there is a personal attack, it is quite a mild one, but I don't think it is meant as a personal attack as such but criticism of certain aspects of how you argue and what you believe.. Joan certainly begins a little abrasively, but she isn't alone in that on this site is she? And in ending, she speaks little more than the truth if in a somewhat dismissive manner of those who may not be either as intellectually, verbally or literally gifted, The rest? Seems likes fair comment to me...
    Last edited by darkeyes; Jun 16, 2012 at 6:29 AM.
    Do not think so little of me as to grant me your tolerance. Allow me your acceptance and understanding of who and what I am with the love, respect and dignity with which I do you.

  17. #17

    Re: For those wondeing what biphobia is and what it looks like

    Quote Originally Posted by æonpax View Post

    1) The authors entire case regarding biphobia rests on what he/they perceive they see posted in an internet forum, this one, which they can’t even articulate on, other than offering some vague references. What is disturbing is the author raises issues that have never been said here, other than in his own mind. This author does more harm than good by trivializing this issue to reflect his dissatisfaction with individuals here in a forum and is acting in his own self-interest.

    2) On the UK site, “The Bisexual Index”, they state, in reference to biphobia;

    “What many people don't expect, and the above definition does set out, is that bisexual people suffer from homophobia too. The idea that identifying as bisexual is a way to avoid homophobia, or easier/safer than coming out as gay is a myth. "

    The people who hate us don't distinguish between us. In fact it's entirely possible to be discriminated against and bullied for being gay without actually being LGBT at all - it's about the perception” - http://www.bisexualindex.org.uk/index.php/Biphobia

    The author of this thread. takes great pains to separate bi and homophobia when in fact, they overlap. That is also emphasized in Robyn Ochs’ “Biphobia: It Goes More Than Two Ways” who states;

    In summary, invisibility, isolation, and oppression due to homophobia are experiences shared by bisexual and homosexual people in the United States. Any person may be a target of oppression when visible as lesbian, gay, or bisexual, and each suffers internally when forced to remain silent or repress feelings for people of the same sex. Whether the cause of this oppression is called "homophobia" or "biphobia," it hurts everyone. - http://www.robynochs.com/writing/essays/biphobia.html


    3) The author of this post claims; “Thinking that bisexual people will have their rights when lesbian and gay people win theirs”. Unfortunately, such an erroneous statement runs contrary to a report put out by the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force which states;

    “Bisexual people share an inclusive vision of human rights and social justice more than a narrowly defined "gay identity politics" could hope to achieve. The struggle to establish civil rights protections for bisexual people cannot be separated from the struggle to win freedom and equality for LGBT people.” - http://thetaskforce.org/issues/bisexuality

    While us bisexuals have issues that set us aside and are unique to our orientation, our quest for equal rights runs parallel to the LGBT and it is only within being unified that our voices are heard.
    `
    `

    Summary – As I had once brought up in another thread, the murders of Matthew Shepard did not stop to ask him if he was bisexual before they beat him to death. It didn’t matter. With many of these hateful people, if a man has sex with another man, he’s gay.

    When self-righteous Christians judge all homosexuals in perdition, they make no difference between gay, lesbian, bisexuals and transgendered.

    Biphobia and bisexual erasure are issues which we as a community need to address but larger, more pressing issues also face us that can cause much greater harm or deny us our rights under law.

    It’s an insult to the bisexual community for some members to take an issue like this and distort it to suit their own agenda. There are far more intellectually balanced people in this forum to handle this topic in an objective manner, where civil and learned discussion can take place.
    1. If you are addressing the original poster's offering, I believe they articulated quite well that hate is hate. They further expressed that hate seems to have gained a foothold on this site.

    2. In regards to hate, no purpose is served to compare this site to another. You are expressing the point of hate being blind and without preference to its object. Another site's philosophy is not this site's savior.

    Until Drew may have opportunity to enact a form of moderation, we as individuals are the savior. There are four rules listed above where one posts, replies. We should all be aware of these and seek out a means of communication embodied in compassion, clothed in dignity, weathering respect.

    This is what I think the original poster was making an effort to express. I may be incorrect. If so my humble apologies for misinterpreting what found itself in that post.

    3. I think the original poster was using the statement of some, whom say bisexuals will be granted rights alongside homosexuals, as an example of hate and clearly knows that statement is false. They were not making the statement themselves, rather pointing to it as a matter of reference. Again, If I've misread, apologies.


    I did not see that the original poster was distorting anything. I believe they posted an expression which points out hate has gained purchase on this site. It is a site organized and maintained for people to express diverse views, become a community from what the mainstream deem dregs of society. More importantly, this site was founded I believe in order to grant us, homosexual, lesbian, heterosexual, transgender, all a safe harbor from the gale of hate. Nonetheless, hate seems to have set upon us here.

    Frankly, I do not see asking for a bit of self editing, a pinch of self censor as a 'bad' thing. We should respect ourselves in order to respect others. When one loses a salvo of insults at another, they may as well soil their own Sunday best outfit. What one says of another reflects back upon the one saying it. If we continually engage in an attitude of having to be superior to one another here, where all are accepted, then how may we ever hope to abolish hate in any form?

    Clear lesson here for us all. Hate nor Love do not care about any classification. Choose wisely.

    P.S. Please note I am not against any other web site. My expression regarding comparison is not meant to infer that in any way. My point simply being that comparing often leads back to an attitude of superior versus inferior, and that does not solve, or address the issue of helping to stop hate. Thanks.
    Last edited by void(); Jun 16, 2012 at 7:18 AM. Reason: Forgot a word, silly little article. :) Clarified an idea, combined two statements. Closed a dangling hangman's loop.

  18. #18

    Re: For those wondeing what biphobia is and what it looks like

    Quote Originally Posted by tenni View Post
    It is is difficult for meto respond to you Aeon mainly because of my tablet as I am travelling presently. Your writing approach is far from consensual and a personal attack mode. How are we to have acivil discourse with suchan approach? You find my thoughts inarticulate and write from a position of assuming your superiority. I am indeed not an expert onbiphobia or bierasure. This forum is in its early days of discussing such topics. It may beless than a year. I do not live in the same society as you do. Things may differ here as to how these phobias exist.
    As far as statements made on this forum that may or may not be biphobic that is up for discussion. You may make biphobic statments or I may make them. The form of the thoughts maybe biphobic and it maybe possible at the core of the person is not a black nor white belief structure that might be seen by "expert" as a biphobic person.

    I will get back to you later. Cheers
    `

    If I was needlessly rude and sarcastic, I apologize. Nonetheless, one of the biggest problems facing bisexuals is that for biphobia to exist, there has to be an "out" bisexual who has been discriminated against. Our public members are just not there,"en masse", leastways in the public forum.

    At Milwaukee's recent Pridefest, we just were not adequately represented with bisexuals. Bisexuals were there, by default, but not in the numbers I was hoping for. Almost ever booth, display or kiosk was either gay/lesbian themed or dealt with homosexual community as an aggregate containing bisexuals.

    Unless the Bisexual community starts getting proactive, for example, by insisting the media identify us by our unique orientation, all this baying at the moon will accomplish nothing.

  19. #19

    Re: For those wondeing what biphobia is and what it looks like

    Hate, Voidie, has been an ever increasing problem on this site for 3 or 4 years now.. more than once I have held my hands up in horror, and several times seriously wanted to walk away... I have been accused of it, and others too, and there is an increasing tendency to accuse, twist, distort, misrepresent and deliberately lie for reasons of personal prejudice and often simply for the hell of it... it is a canker on site and I simply have no idea how we stop it..

    I dislike banning people even if they are part of that canker, because it does not work as we can see on many threads and because in some ways even hate serves a purpose but exposing those who hate and the disease they bring on site... we live in a free society or we do not.. we have freedom of speech or we do not.. how within the context of that we prevent hate from being expounded is a question all of us should consider and concern ourselves with.. people have walked away from the site because of it, some have expressed their disgust, but far too few are prepared to raise their voices in opposition to it, and in defence of their site. Yet of more did so the danger of encouraging those who hate to be even more destructive than they are is very real... some of those who are most vociferous about others for hating are themselves the greatest practicioners of the disease they profess to loathe.. we can ignore them and allow them to get bored and move on, but that is unlikely to happen because such is the degree they have infiltrated and are poisoning the ethos of both the site and what the lgbt and most decent people are about.. the danger is by ignoring them, the site becomes one great cesspool of hate and poison as they slowly become ever more vocal and numerous.. when that day..

    ...if that day happens.. then I think Drew will pull the plug and this site will become a part of web history, of bisexual history, lgbt history, and who could blame him for that? And those who do not hate, because they did not care enough to defend what they have will be as responsible as the contemptible who spread their loathsome crap, some of whom I have no doubt had just such a purpose in mind from the very beginning and from the moment they first heard of bisexual.com...
    Last edited by darkeyes; Jun 16, 2012 at 8:07 AM.
    Do not think so little of me as to grant me your tolerance. Allow me your acceptance and understanding of who and what I am with the love, respect and dignity with which I do you.

  20. #20

    Re: For those wondeing what biphobia is and what it looks like

    Quote Originally Posted by void_dweller View Post
    x
    1. If you are addressing the original poster's offering, I believe they articulated quite well that hate is hate. They further expressed that hate seems to have gained a foothold on this site.
    1 - I do not agree but that is your opinion and will respect it.

    2. In regards to hate, no purpose is served to compare this site to another. You are expressing the point of hate being blind and without preference to its object. Another site's philosophy is not this site's savior

    2 - The analogy stands as proper, logical and related; your opinion, notwithstanding.

    Until Drew may have opportunity to enact a form of moderation, we as individuals are the savior. There are four rules listed above where one posts, replies. We should all be aware of these and seek out a means of communication embodied in compassion, clothed in dignity, weathering respect.

    I was waiting for someone to bring up the "Rules" here, or lack thereof. First off, since I've never seen you bring this up to other offenders (I am just one) your purpose of addressing just me is suspect. Common sense dictates we should treat all with courtesy and respect. However it applies to everyone.

    This is what I think the original poster was making an effort to express. I may be incorrect. If so my humble apologies for misinterpreting what found itself in that post.

    I stand corrected.

    3. I think the original poster was using the statement of some, whom say bisexuals will be granted rights alongside homosexuals, as an example of hate and clearly knows that statement is false. They were not making the statement themselves, rather pointing to it as a matter of reference. Again, If I've misread, apologies.

    3 - Consider the fact that Florida has starting purging voters based on the unproven assumption of voter fraud. Now even if a million people say it, it must be proven, which has not been done.

    So too with the problem of biphobia. It exists but to what extent? Where are it's victims? Who are the victims? I acknowledge biphobia exists but no one has produced one iota of evidence as to its degree or permeation.

    I did not see that the original poster was distorting anything. I believe they posted an expression which points out hate has gained purchase on this site. It is a site organized and maintained for people to express diverse views, become a community from what the mainstream deem dregs of society. More importantly, this site was founded I believe in order to grant us, homosexual, lesbian, heterosexual, transgender, all a safe harbor from the gale of hate. Nonetheless, hate seems to have set upon us here.

    What hate? Can you show me examples? I don't see hate here. I see occasional bias, intolerance and stupidity but not this hate you talk about. Lets not wallow in hyperbole here.

    Frankly, I do not see asking for a bit of self editing, a pinch of self censor as a 'bad' thing. We should respect ourselves in order to respect others. When one loses a salvo of insults at another, they may as well soil their own Sunday best outfit. What one says of another reflects back upon the one saying it. If we continually engage in an attitude of having to be superior to one another here, where all are accepted, then how may we ever hope to abolish hate in any form?
    Clear lesson here for us all. Hate nor Love do not care about any classification. Choose wisely.

    Wise words, let's see to it that everyone follows them



    P.S. Please note I am not against any other web site. My expression regarding comparison is not meant to infer that in any way. My point simply being that comparing often leads back to an attitude of superior versus inferior, and that does not solve, or address the issue of helping to stop hate. Thanks.

  21. #21

    Re: For those wondeing what biphobia is and what it looks like

    Quote Originally Posted by æonpax View Post
    `

    If I was needlessly rude and sarcastic, I apologize. Nonetheless, one of the biggest problems facing bisexuals is that for biphobia to exist, there has to be an "out" bisexual who has been discriminated against. Our public members are just not there,"en masse", leastways in the public forum.

    At Milwaukee's recent Pridefest, we just were not adequately represented with bisexuals. Bisexuals were there, by default, but not in the numbers I was hoping for. Almost ever booth, display or kiosk was either gay/lesbian themed or dealt with homosexual community as an aggregate containing bisexuals.

    Unless the Bisexual community starts getting proactive, for example, by insisting the media identify us by our unique orientation, all this baying at the moon will accomplish nothing.
    OMG! Closet bisexualaphobia erasure!

    LOL! "I have a kiosk, therefore I exist!", or rather the opposite with bi's.
    Yes I know what you mean really, but I do wonder how interested most bisexuals are when it comes to the actual politics of sexuality. For most (as far as I can tell) there's just a naive notion that we'd be accepted as real, because...well we are real. But that doesn't quite cut it in the public arena. We're just not as militant minded as some gays&lesbians who turn sexuality into a cause. We mainly just try to explain ourselves and expect that to be enough.

    I watched a Youtube vid about pansexuality recently, and one comment drew my attention:
    I don't have a problem with pansexuals/genderqueers/polyse *xuals/etc identifying themselves as such, but trying to pass as a legitimate social class and their growing acceptance among liberal/progressive types have devastating effects on feminism and homosexual activism. These people are fetishists trying to reappropriate homosexual and woman identities for themselves thus eradicating those groups as a social class. It's misogynistic and homophobic.
    It's homophobic to be pan-bisexual etc. For this YT subscriber (Yes I know!) and probably more, sexuality has left humanism behind and has become a political cause.
    But is that how bisexuality is viewed by some/most? The only cause I feel relevant to my sexuality is not being prodded into a box with descriptions on, and exploring what I am. And I (most probably) naively assume that others of all sexualities would want that for themselves too. But IMO homosexual activists have distorted the 'liberation of sexuality' and turned it into a minority political circus. From the bi seats, it's nowhere near as binary as claimed for the whole. We do actually have a right to chose as we please, so abstinence maybe a vote of no confidence?

  22. #22

    Re: For those wondeing what biphobia is and what it looks like

    Quote Originally Posted by Gearbox View Post
    OMG! Closet bisexualaphobia erasure!
    LOL! "I have a kiosk, therefore I exist!", or rather the opposite with bi's.
    Yes I know what you mean really, but I do wonder how interested most bisexuals are when it comes to the actual politics of sexuality. For most (as far as I can tell) there's just a naive notion that we'd be accepted as real, because...well we are real. But that doesn't quite cut it in the public arena. We're just not as militant minded as some gays&lesbians who turn sexuality into a cause. We mainly just try to explain ourselves and expect that to be enough.
    I watched a Youtube vid about pansexuality recently, and one comment drew my attention:
    It's homophobic to be pan-bisexual etc. For this YT subscriber (Yes I know!) and probably more, sexuality has left humanism behind and has become a political cause.
    But is that how bisexuality is viewed by some/most? The only cause I feel relevant to my sexuality is not being prodded into a box with descriptions on, and exploring what I am. And I (most probably) naively assume that others of all sexualities would want that for themselves too. But IMO homosexual activists have distorted the 'liberation of sexuality' and turned it into a minority political circus. From the bi seats, it's nowhere near as binary as claimed for the whole. We do actually have a right to chose as we please, so abstinence maybe a vote of no confidence?
    `
    I was merely pointing out the physical presence of bisexuals at the fest, which by the way has bearing on bisexual awareness or don't you know?

    If the problem is bisexual invisibility, pray tell, how do we make ourselves felt except in physical numbers?

  23. #23

    Re: For those wondeing what biphobia is and what it looks like

    Quote Originally Posted by darkeyes View Post
    ... the site becomes one great cesspool of hate and poison as they slowly become ever more vocal and numerous.. when that day.....if that day happens.. ...

    Already has....over 2 years ago. I think arana was the first to realize that and get the hell outa dodge... always thought she was one smart cookie. It's only gotten worse since she left.

    Any doubts Fran? just think about all our other friends who have left. Well, that and the fact that this place has become mainly political and argumentative. There is no fun here any more because most of the witty, engaging, joyous people are gone now. Myself included. All the yattering will accomplish is to turn this site into just another chat wasteland. I've seen it happen to amore, hotsexchat, sexchat.com, and a host of other previously fun places.

    IMO there is no need to shout and bitch and posture and piss on fenceposts and attempt to garner territory... all ANYone needs to do to make things right in the world is to turn off the computer, get off ones' ass and get out there.

    "To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage." -Lao Tzu

  24. #24

    Re: For those wondeing what biphobia is and what it looks like

    Quote Originally Posted by **Peg** View Post
    Already has....over 2 years ago. I think arana was the first to realize that and get the hell outa dodge... always thought she was one smart cookie. It's only gotten worse since she left.

    Any doubts Fran? just think about all our other friends who have left. Well, that and the fact that this place has become mainly political and argumentative. There is no fun here any more because most of the witty, engaging, joyous people are gone now. Myself included. All the yattering will accomplish is to turn this site into just another chat wasteland. I've seen it happen to amore, hotsexchat, sexchat.com, and a host of other previously fun places.

    IMO there is no need to shout and bitch and posture and piss on fenceposts and attempt to garner territory... all ANYone needs to do to make things right in the world is to turn off the computer, get off ones' ass and get out there.

    Much truth in that Granmumsie... but run away and give them free reign and let the site disappear.. who wins?
    Do not think so little of me as to grant me your tolerance. Allow me your acceptance and understanding of who and what I am with the love, respect and dignity with which I do you.

  25. #25
    Unofficial Community Leader
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    2,079

    Re: For those wondeing what biphobia is and what it looks like

    Quote Originally Posted by darkeyes View Post
    Hate, Voidie, has been an ever increasing problem on this site for 3 or 4 years now.. more than once I have held my hands up in horror, and several times seriously wanted to walk away... I have been accused of it, and others too, and there is an increasing tendency to accuse, twist, distort, misrepresent and deliberately lie for reasons of personal prejudice and often simply for the hell of it... it is a canker on site and I simply have no idea how we stop it..

    I dislike banning people even if they are part of that canker, because it does not work as we can see on many threads and because in some ways even hate serves a purpose but exposing those who hate and the disease they bring on site... we live in a free society or we do not.. we have freedom of speech or we do not.. how within the context of that we prevent hate from being expounded is a question all of us should consider and concern ourselves with.. people have walked away from the site because of it, some have expressed their disgust, but far too few are prepared to raise their voices in opposition to it, and in defence of their site. Yet of more did so the danger of encouraging those who hate to be even more destructive than they are is very real... some of those who are most vociferous about others for hating are themselves the greatest practicioners of the disease they profess to loathe.. we can ignore them and allow them to get bored and move on, but that is unlikely to happen because such is the degree they have infiltrated and are poisoning the ethos of both the site and what the lgbt and most decent people are about.. the danger is by ignoring them, the site becomes one great cesspool of hate and poison as they slowly become ever more vocal and numerous.. when that day..

    ...if that day happens.. then I think Drew will pull the plug and this site will become a part of web history, of bisexual history, lgbt history, and who could blame him for that? And those who do not hate, because they did not care enough to defend what they have will be as responsible as the contemptible who spread their loathsome crap, some of whom I have no doubt had just such a purpose in mind from the very beginning and from the moment they first heard of bisexual.com...

    This post reminded me of an incident at work one day when a supervisor in my dept. was accusing an outsider from another dept. of " creating a hostile work environment." This seemed to be this particular supervisor's favorite accusation after he gained his position of authority there and if anyone was guilty of that, he was. Anyway, I came to the outsider's defense by chiming in " He walked into a hostile environment." People can become infected by the ambiance of an environment and find themselves contributing to it, either inadvertently or deliberately
    FIRE IN THE BELLY

  26. #26

    Re: For those wondeing what biphobia is and what it looks like

    I read the other day "It's a shame we don't treat homophobia like we do other phobias - therapy and medication to cure the phobia. Those homophobic people always think its the other person that needs help."

  27. #27

    Re: For those wondeing what biphobia is and what it looks like

    It's a difficult thing, Pepper, this job of living.. we all like it simply to tootle along with no stress.. life isn't so easy and straightforward.. when we see what we perceive is injustice, or anything else which we believe is wrong, or hear the words of those who offend against what we see as common decency.. we can sit and stay quiet, or we can try and make them see the error of their ways.. we defend what we believe or we do not... and sometimes by doing so we shall create hostility against us and often feel hostility in return... it is almost inevitable.. it is something I recognise and accept and however unintententionally I accept that there will be times when my words will do just that.. just as occasionally, I will feel it necessary to be a little more barbed and will do so not accidentally... so I accept much of the implied criticism you make, but we debate or we do not.. we speak out or we stay silent and allow the opposing view to prevail unchallenged.. why else does this forum exist??? But I never speak out of hate for another.. I may hate what that other says or believes, but not the person him or herself... hostility to an idea is one thing.,, hostility to the person because that person holds a particular set of ideals, or is something I am not is quite another matter... it is that kind of hostility and intolerance that in common with society as a whole, in the United States and the UK and elsewhere, this site has a real and deepening problem...
    Do not think so little of me as to grant me your tolerance. Allow me your acceptance and understanding of who and what I am with the love, respect and dignity with which I do you.

  28. #28

    Re: For those wondeing what biphobia is and what it looks like

    Thank you Aeon. I am an imperfect m and I too may have been less than kind to you. I am told by someone that Irespecttat you are a od person, paraphrasing here

    I am uncertain as to how off topic this is but biphobia and Bi Invisibilty may have different meanings. In particular your and darkeyes use of Bi Invisiblity. I know from having read a Bi website that Bi Invisibility is mostly about acknowledging BIsexuals existence such as in the media, and your question about whether your military leader should have acknowledgged bisexuals in his statement.

    To the belief that bisexualsneedto come out or there isBi Invisibility, darkeyes and I havedebated this point aswell as others. I, and others see it differently. Right or wrong

  29. #29

    Re: For those wondeing what biphobia is and what it looks like

    Thank you Aeon. I am an imperfect man and I too may have been less than kind to you. I am told by someone that I respect that you are a good person, paraphrasing here

    I am uncertain as to how off topic this is but biphobia and Bi Invisibilty may have different meanings? In particular your and darkeyes use of Bi Invisiblity. I know from having read a Bi website that Bi Invisibility is mostly about acknowledging Bisexuals existence such as in the media, and your question about whether your military leader should have acknowledgged bisexuals in his statement, history etc.

    To the belief that bisexuals need tocome out or there is Bi Invisibility, darkeyes and I have debated this point as well as others. I, and others see it differently.
    Last edited by tenni; Jun 16, 2012 at 11:04 AM.

  30. #30

    Re: For those wondeing what biphobia is and what it looks like

    sorry...Right or wrong I see the out need as a political gay movement idea supported so it semsto me by gay activists andsome bis. I wrote somewhere else that there is more than one way to deal with bi issues other than going around saying that you are bi. You can standup to correct perceptions without addig that you are bi and goto pride parades etc. Just my opinion.

 

 

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