Bisexual, Lesbian, or what?

[GeeNee312]

As a female, I have never told anyone except an old friend that I was always sexually attracted to women. Even as a young girl I was only attracted to women's bodies. Seeing breasts and vagina's would excite me to no end. I am attracted to men sexually by having them hug me or care about me. Only after knowing a man emotionally, can I feel sexual attraction but still......looking at a penis, abs, butt, muscles-none of this excites me. I married but my husband passed away at a young age and felt this way with him, even though I loved and cared about him. I have always felt very confused. I know the argument about not using "labels", but for argument sake I'd like to know if I am lesbian or bisexual. I think of myself as bisexual and need to know it's OK to feel this insatiable attraction to women's bodies. I feel my or rough and raw fantasies with women are abnormal in some way. I can then instantly switch and desire sex with a man but only think of the "act" by itself and it's not as spiced up as I feel it would be with a woman. Once someone told me to not worry and to feel I have the best of both worlds, but I would feel better if I could define it.

[Long Duck Dong]

lol hugs, you are perfectly normal..... its just normal that we can not define and put into a box.......

the way you talk about yourself, speaks of a lady that has strong sexual interest and attraction to other ladies.... a emotional interest in males that can be sexual

are you a lesbian ? well a lesbian can be emotionally connected and attracted to other females.....

are you a bisexual ? well a bisexual is a person that can be emotionally / sexually attracted to and interested in males and females

while separate, they can blur so you can have a lady that can be emotional and sexually with males and sexually interested in ladies....... which would generally be referred to as a mostly hetero bisexual.....

however, just to be confusing, if you explore your interest in ladies and find that its more than just sexual, its romantic / emotional and you find that you are happy and comfortable with ladies, then you can be defined as a mostly gay bisexual... or even a lesbian......

the main issue is when others try to tell you what you are..... and what * rules * you must * conform * to......

my dear, just enjoy being you..... as your sexuality is something to enjoy, and the label is merely a way to share your interests with others, or help you feel more settled in yourself.......

[innaminka]

One thing I have learned in my rather interesting and at time rocky progression through my life with its muddled sexuality is.

..... forget trying to apply a label.

You are you!!!

have you physically hurt anyone? Have you got whole nations despising you???
Of course not.

Okay, maybe we (you and I and the millions like us) were dealt a slightly more difficult hand in life, but revel in it.
Don't pigeon-hole yourself.
It may take time - there will be others who question your motives and sincerity, but do what you feel is best for you and forget the label.

........ It's not easy. I acknowledge that; but hang in there!

[LastGent]

Just go with "whatever, whenever".

[Herculoid Poirot]

I'd say it's absolutely fine that you an insatiable desire for women's bodies!!! Many of us do...

I know we all want to avoid labels but if you desire women strongly but can feel sexual desire for both men and women then I'd say you were bi with strong lesbian tendencies or lesbian with some bi tendencies. Whatever you chose to call yourself, you like what you like, so enjoy your dirty mind!

[ErosUrge]

I completely agree with innaminka but would like to make one more point. Sometimes by defining what or who we believe we are, it helps to make peace with it. For all the years I struggled with being bi, it scared me to admit or give it a name. Ultimately as innaminka says, "you are you"...so true. But for some, it can help to give it a name or a label. If this works for you then good. But names and labels aren't really necessary. Only if they help you come to terms with it all better might it be better....wishing you the best with whatever choice you make or conclusion you reach if there is one.

One thing I have learned in my rather interesting and at time rocky progression through my life with its muddled sexuality is.

..... forget trying to apply a label.

You are you!!!

have you physically hurt anyone? Have you got whole nations despising you???
Of course not.

Okay, maybe we (you and I and the millions like us) were dealt a slightly more difficult hand in life, but revel in it.
Don't pigeon-hole yourself.
It may take time - there will be others who question your motives and sincerity, but do what you feel is best for you and forget the label.

........ It's not easy. I acknowledge that; but hang in there!

[Jobelorocks]

Now let me start with a definition of bisexual (as I usually do). A bisexual is someone who is attracted to both genders in a sexual and/or emotional way. You can have different levels of attraction to both genders and a different kind of attraction. For example I am a bisexual woman who is attracted to men sexually and romantically, but I am only attracted to women sexually.

Now with that said, only you can decide what you are. If you want a label for yourself, label yourself. I have no problem labeling my sexuality any more than I label myself a woman or an artist. They are just all characteristics of yourself that you give a name to.

It sounds to me that you are a bisexual that is just romantically attracted to men (and can develop sexual attraction over time) and you are sexually and maybe romantically attracted to women. I can't know for sure, though, only you can.

I would just say do what ever makes you happy in life as far as your sexuality goes. Figure out what you want and go for it.