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  1. #1

    Why is it so hard to find other Bi curious, Bisexual men in same boat as me?

    I am wondering why it is so hard to find other married curious bisexual men who are also married or just curious to have sex with another man? It seems like there has to be a lot of other men around in every day life that also has desires like me. How do I locate them? what are signs to look for? I am in Central Pa, centre county, seems to be worst area to find someone. I thought for sure the m/m websites like gay . com, adam4adam, squirt, bisexualplayground, silverdaddies, manhunt, men4sexnow, and all seem to be full of game players and people who just want to chat to get their rock off or just never reply back or they are 100+ miles away.
    Seems like I am the only one around here!
    Any opinions or answers would be a help.

  2. #2

    Re: Why is it so hard to find other Bi curious, Bisexual men in same boat as me?

    That's an age old problem, especially if you're looking for other married men since they're not normally free to be open about their bisexuality or looking for other men. All you can do is keep looking.

    If you haven't been there yet, you may want to try joining the Yahoo Bisexual Buddies group. It seems to be mostly, but not all, older married guys. Good conversation there and it even has a member locator map where you can look at a map and see if there's any members living near you. The map, of course, depends on how many members add their info to it and most haven't as of yet.

    The group is moderated and the moderator carefully screens new members so give it a try.

  3. #3

    Re: Why is it so hard to find other Bi curious, Bisexual men in same boat as me?

    One word................ CAMOUFLAGE ..................

    It's just the way it is, and we are the best at it. I wish it were easier too.

  4. #4

    Re: Why is it so hard to find other Bi curious, Bisexual men in same boat as me?

    I hear what you are saying I would love to find someone to be friends with and have some man to man fun with on the side. I think it is most will get on sites like this and toy with the idea but when it comes down to doing the deed they aren't able to go thru with it, it's keeping things safe but flirted with their desires too. I have had a couple responses from guys and chatted thru email with them a bit but I never felt I was what they were looking for such is life.
    Don't give up I know there are guys out there like us that are looking for the same as we are

  5. #5

    Re: Why is it so hard to find other Bi curious, Bisexual men in same boat as me?

    it doesnt matter where you are! im in the south 'burbs of chicago and cant find anyone thats serious. most of the time its guys that talk big online but when it comes to meeting they turn into flakes! they start making all kinds of excuses why they cant meet, or they do set up a time and place and dont fucking show up! it shouldnt be this hard to find a nice, regular guy to play with. i must admit im getting frustrated. im going to get off my soapbox now. thanks.

  6. #6

    Re: Why is it so hard to find other Bi curious, Bisexual men in same boat as me?

    I lived in central Pa (Montour county) for 10 years and never met one bi, or gay person, the whole time. I did meet one bi-curious guy, who was way too scared to interact with another man, though. If I had belonged to bi.com, then, maybe it would have been different.

    I would have been happy to have a bisexual friend, even if we didn't have a sexual relationship. It would have been nice to communicate with someone who had the same feelings/interests.

    When moved back home to Florida and joined Bi.com in 2008, I met several bi men and a couple of bi women. Although, none of the men shared mutual interests with me, one of the ladies became the most compatible lover I've ever had. We've been solid as rock, since then.

    I guarantee you, there is someone close to you, who wants the same things you do. But, from my experience, that whole central part of Pa is very conservative and there's a lot of religious influences, too.

    With the Internet, there's many ways to meet those with the same desires; you'll just have to keep trying until you meet someone, probably on line, then meet in a public place, at first.

    In 2009, a lady I know, who lives close-by, expressed an interest in meeting a bisexual woman, for her first experience. I recommended joining here. Soon after that, she met someone and has been with her ever since.

    So, don't give up, keep looking. It's like the lottery, you can't win, unless you play!

  7. #7

    Re: Why is it so hard to find other Bi curious, Bisexual men in same boat as me?

    I wish I had the answer! I've met a few guys online but most of them want sex, not friendship. I want friendship, sex is secondary. The few who wanted friendship didn't work out mainly due to my busy schedule. My wife doesn't support my bisexuality so I'd have to sneak away to meet someone, making it even harder to meet up. (Even without sex, it would be tough explaining meeting somebody that I met online.)

    That said, if/when I meet someone, getting together would (should) get easier over time.

  8. #8

    Re: Why is it so hard to find other Bi curious, Bisexual men in same boat as me?

    I hear what you are saying mate.Its difficult to met others who have the same drives as you have.You are in the USA,so i guess you need to go where its most likely you can see/meet other bi curious men. Think of forest trails, saunas and things like that. I live in Malta and have found bi curious or gay men hanging out at areas where mostly men go to swim nude. Be imaginative and you will find the men who want what you want.



    QUOTE=bikurinpa;215226]I am wondering why it is so hard to find other married curious bisexual men who are also married or just curious to have sex with another man? It seems like there has to be a lot of other men around in every day life that also has desires like me. How do I locate them? what are signs to look for? I am in Central Pa, centre county, seems to be worst area to find someone. I thought for sure the m/m websites like gay . com, adam4adam, squirt, bisexualplayground, silverdaddies, manhunt, men4sexnow, and all seem to be full of game players and people who just want to chat to get their rock off or just never reply back or they are 100+ miles away.
    Seems like I am the only one around here!
    Any opinions or answers would be a help.[/QUOTE]
    Masturbation is not a crime

  9. #9
    Unofficial Community Leader
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    Re: Why is it so hard to find other Bi curious, Bisexual men in same boat as me?

    Quote Originally Posted by bikurinpa View Post
    I am wondering why it is so hard to find other married curious bisexual men who are also married or just curious to have sex with another man? It seems like there has to be a lot of other men around in every day life that also has desires like me. How do I locate them? what are signs to look for? I am in Central Pa, centre county, seems to be worst area to find someone. I thought for sure the m/m websites like gay . com, adam4adam, squirt, bisexualplayground, silverdaddies, manhunt, men4sexnow, and all seem to be full of game players and people who just want to chat to get their rock off or just never reply back or they are 100+ miles away.
    Seems like I am the only one around here!
    Any opinions or answers would be a help.
    It's even harder to find unattached & available bi men.
    FIRE IN THE BELLY

  10. #10

    Re: Why is it so hard to find other Bi curious, Bisexual men in same boat as me?

    I'm curious & new looking for another safe guy to talk/chat with. Anyone out there interested? J

  11. #11

    Re: Why is it so hard to find other Bi curious, Bisexual men in same boat as me?

    We're a bi couple and we are having a hell of a time finding bi guys, bi couples are tougher to find and bi females are just a figment of everyone's imagination!

    We're in south central PA, it really is location, (they ALL are 100+ miles away) that's the biggest challenge but as mentioned above many of the married/attached guys couldn't get away if they wanted to! That doesn't stop them from play-acting like they can!

  12. #12

    Re: Why is it so hard to find other Bi curious, Bisexual men in same boat as me?

    Quote Originally Posted by jj671 View Post
    it doesnt matter where you are! im in the south 'burbs of chicago and cant find anyone thats serious. most of the time its guys that talk big online but when it comes to meeting they turn into flakes! they start making all kinds of excuses why they cant meet, or they do set up a time and place and dont fucking show up! it shouldnt be this hard to find a nice, regular guy to play with. i must admit im getting frustrated. im going to get off my soapbox now. thanks.


    When I lived in Texas there was no problem. In this area I have run into but very few, and no couples that are real. Not just a guy that thinks he can get you to play even though he lied to you from the start.

  13. #13

    Re: Why is it so hard to find other Bi curious, Bisexual men in same boat as me?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jorge F View Post
    If you want to meet someone that's bi or gay you should easily be able to do this no matter where you live. There are Craigslist sites for all locations now and you can go on other free sites to hook up with people who are local and not 100 miles away. Now that the internet is pretty much everywhere you have no excuses. Or maybe you have such high standards that nobody will ever meet them?
    Go to the CL site for Williamsport and State College, I am between those 2, you will find 95 of the posts are based on wanting quick sex, or Blo n goes" and those is not what I am after, I am looking for someone who we can be as friends and regulars together. Blo n goes or quick sex meets are too risky for they know they never see u again and if they have a STD, they are not going to tell you! I am sure there is a lot of other men who have same desires but just like me, do not know how to bring it up to another man!

  14. #14

    Re: Why is it so hard to find other Bi curious, Bisexual men in same boat as me?

    I have to say----now that I am spending time down in central Florida---I am having a devil of a time meeting any guy to get with--had many contacts via websites---but nothing ever seems to come from all of that.

    "Up home" in Ohio---the only reason it is not all that easy is because I do tend to be pretty particular and do have two guys in the recent past that I would regularly get with-----but even with everyones' busy schedules---meeting all that much is not easy---but at least I can do it every so often.

    Down here where I am at present----it seems damn near impossible.

    I think that its just the nature of things and we just have to deal with that fact.

    I wish everyone luck in finding at least one "decent guy" however you define that for yourself to get to "play with" on some sort or "regular" basis.

    Good luck, fellas!

  15. #15

    Re: Why is it so hard to find other Bi curious, Bisexual men in same boat as me?

    I agree, Volty. When I was young, skinny, and in great shape, it seemed that male lovers just appeared out of the blue. Of course, I'm a lot older, now.......so there's an attraction thing that I no longer having going for me. I lived in Central Pa for 10 years; ('98-2008) there were slim pickings there, too. (Like none)

    The best places I've lived, where it was easier to meet other bisexuals was Virginia (6 years) and Kentucky (30 years), believe it, or not. Germany was also a great place to meet bisexuals, too.

    My problem has always been, I refuse to have sex with strangers, preferring to get to know and trust a person before intimacy.

    While living back home from '69 to '74, I had a great male lover, who came to Florida every winter. His wife was OK with our relationship, so there was no sneaking around, worrying about getting caught. We had a lot of fun together, but I missed him during the summers.

    It's been nearly 5 years since I had a male lover, or FWB, but I've got the best lady, ever. She's also bi, not jealous, and has no issues with me being with a safe, sane person of either gender. So, although I sometimes miss being with a male, I'm still happy and a ease with the world.

  16. #16

    Re: Why is it so hard to find other Bi curious, Bisexual men in same boat as me?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jorge F View Post
    You didn't try hard enough, stayed deeply closeted, and probably didn't go out to places where LGBT people go to. I have bi and gay male friends who live in Central PA and they have no issues meeting bi and gay men and this was in the late 80s through today. Of course they're out, not closeted, and actually do go out and go to places where LGBT people go like bars or events.
    But the difference in the subject is I am talking about finding other closeted bi men vs the guys who are out like a sore thumb

 

 

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