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  1. #1

    How many of you are bi and married

    hey i am bi and married 38 yr old been married for 15 yrs wife doesn't know. and i was just wondering how many ppl here were like me. i started young at 13 with my best friend we kept it going until we were almost 20 then the whole normal thing had to happen and we both got married . so just wondering

  2. #2

    Re: How many of you are bi and married

    I am also bi and married wife didn't know until 3or 4 yrs ago. We have been married for 30 yrs and she said " do whatever just don't bring me home any surprises....... So here I am....

  3. #3

    Re: How many of you are bi and married

    I'm Bi and married. I'm 40 and have known on a conscious level that I'm bi for just over 2 years. I was in denial for the rest of that time, justifying my attraction to women as an appreciation for them as a form of art.

    We've been married almost 9 years,together for 10 and known each other for 15 years. The first person I told was my husband. I advocate for total honesty in relationships. You never know when the other person might figure it out on their own. THEN there's trouble.

    Hubby is incredibly supportive of my exploration. I'm really fortunate that he is the way he is, otherwise I might have stayed in the closet without his support. Between him and my wonderful family here, I'm now ready to take the next step in my exploration and lose my bi virginity
    Never be bullied into silence;
    Never let yourself be made a victim;
    Accept no one's definition of your life;
    Define yourself.

  4. #4

    Re: How many of you are bi and married

    Female here married for 22 years always have been 'bi', he has known from the beginning

  5. #5

    Re: How many of you are bi and married

    I have been married for almost 12 years. My husband has known that I am attracted to women since we were dating. I only started using the label "bisexual" for myself about 2 years ago.

  6. #6

    Re: How many of you are bi and married

    Married here for nearly 17 years (2nd time around)
    Been aware of being bi for about the last 12. Been "out" for most of that time after a period of self denial.
    Our life together, after initial (slightly longer than initial) doubts, has probably never been better.

  7. #7

    Re: How many of you are bi and married

    Been married to wife since 1999 dating since 1993. I told her about a year after dating. Cant keep a secret like that. I started young too. Age 13-18 was only with male cousin. They always put us in same bed. No need to elaborate. Later hooked up with guys prior to college and more in college. Confusing, but you need to find out what you want. I suggest telling her. I told mine some in college not all. Today I just told her ALL. So, not shocked but didnt want to hear everything. But we both feel better now. Good luck.

  8. #8

    Re: How many of you are bi and married

    I'm bi and have been married for 14 years. I was a "late bloomer" and didn't accept my bisexuality until just the past few years. She knows but I can't say she is 100% understanding or supportive. I wish I would have listened to that "little inner voice" when I was in college.

  9. #9

    Re: How many of you are bi and married

    Been married for 7 years now, she doesn't know, sadly she is not a fan of two guys getting together.

    I have been thinking about telling her lately as she keeps bringing up that she thinks I'm Bi, so who knows how she will react.

    Saying something half jokingly and having me tell her I am Bisexual are two very different things.
    Sig space for rent.

  10. #10

    Re: How many of you are bi and married

    Female here. I've been bi for more than half my life. (I'm 44) I am also married. Been so for over 6 months. Husband has known all along since first knowning each other. He is very accepting and supportive of who I am.

  11. #11

    Re: How many of you are bi and married

    Been married for a year and a half, (and the baby turns 6 months old tomorrow!) Only started questioning a little before the wedding. Only been labeling myself 4 months or so. Hubby was great, right from the start

  12. #12

    Re: How many of you are bi and married

    Married for over five years and together nine. Both bi.

    Ambi

  13. #13

    Re: How many of you are bi and married

    Not married at the moment; have been divorced for quite a few years. Was married twice and had several long, live-in, but non-marital, relationships with marvelous women.
    Have been bi since age 12 or thereabouts. Had non-serious relationships with a couple of schoolmates in grade school and high school, and one fairly serious one with a neighbor-and-schoolmate in eighth grade.
    Later (at age 19), became involved with a Dutch couple who were both bi and were swingers, too. We had a multi-year threesome relationship and he and I had a separate man/man relationship on the side. I'm not sure his wife knew about that.
    My first wife thought that sex was in bed, in the dark, woman on bottom/man on top, no talking during the act. Thought bisexuality was a dark perversion (strange, that, since she was quite friendly with a number of gay professional acquaintances.
    Second wife and I were swingers throughout our marriage. She tried another woman, wasn't particularly turned on by it. I told her before we married that I was bisexual. She thought that was hot, hot, HOT and loved to have me tell her "stories" from my happily sordid past during our foreplay. But she was adamant about never wanting to see me with another man. Period. Paragraph. End of discussion. Again, that was strange, since we probably swapped and mini-grouped with a couple of dozen couples and "extra men" over the years. On the other hand, maybe it wasn't so strange; she had another quirk: we were open swingers and she didn't object to my fucking another woman, but would become very bitchy if I cuddled or "afterglow talked" with the woman I'd just screwed. Go figure !
    My last great live-in love told me she knew the minute she laid eyes on me that I was bi. She thought my being bi was "sweet" and "cute" and would have loved to see me with another man. We sought one, earnestly, for a couple of years. But the right guy never turned up. Ironically, not long after she returned home (France), I ran across a great couple with a bi husband, with whom I had an intermittent relationship.
    Now in my 60s and haven't had a relationship with another guy or a bi married couple in more than seven years. Still, hope springs eternal !

  14. #14

    Re: How many of you are bi and married

    Female, I've been with my husband for 4 years. He knew from our first date that I enjoyed the company of men and women. He's very supportive and like archer, I was told to do what I want, "but don't bring me home any surprises". Considered myself gay until I was 15.
    wildangel

  15. #15

    Re: How many of you are bi and married

    Married for 21 years and just came out to the wife a few months ago. She has been great about it (although it did take a little getting used to it). Met a woman on here and had a wondeful affair, so when the wife found out, she had so much to get used to that the bi thinkgs was the easiest. She is not at all interested in women. We have had a few MMF threesomes and she had a great time.

    Oh and have had bi experiences since I was 12, but thought it was wrong so repressed it for many years.


    BareHunter
    Last edited by BareHunter45; Feb 23, 2007 at 6:19 PM. Reason: forgot something important

  16. #16

    Re: How many of you are bi and married

    I've been married for 6 years and we've been together for 8. She has known from the beginning but there is still lots of difficulty. I strongly suggest coming out even if it ends your marriage because you can't live a secret life and the longer you wait the more it will hurt when she finally finds out. If she loves you that much then she should be able to cope. There are lots of great people here that both of you can talk to about it.

  17. #17

    Re: How many of you are bi and married

    Married for 23 years together for 26. Have known I was Bi from about age 12. Had my first male experience about 3 years ago quite by accident. My wife has known since the beginning. Has been very supportive and just asks that I be safe.

  18. #18

    Re: How many of you are bi and married

    Married 34 years next month. I repressed any bi desires, after initial explorations in my pre-teens, until about four years ago. I didn't tell my wife because I figured I'd grow out of it. She found out about a year and a half ago. The shit hit the fan and I haven't been with a guy since. She doesn't even want me being on here. I don't give us much of a chance and understand her viewpoint entirely. I'm thinking about getting a motorhome and hitting the road. . . just being by myself.

  19. #19

    Re: How many of you are bi and married

    Both bi,married 4 yrs,together for 11 yrs. My wife told me she was bi on our 2nd date. I didn't come out to her (or myself) until 2 yrs ago. We've tried meeting other couples,but nothing has worked out yet.

  20. #20

    Re: How many of you are bi and married

    Not married yet, but will be in about 4 months. We've lived together for 2 years, been dating for 3. He knew I was bisexual before we even got together, so there was no coming out. Now we swing so I can be with other females, and he doesn't mind the perks of that too much. lol.
    Laken

  21. #21

    Re: How many of you are bi and married

    Both bi here. As far as we can tell, we've been bi since puberty

  22. #22

    Re: How many of you are bi and married

    Married 6 1/2 years. Don't think either of us realized we were bi when we first met. Hubby figured out things for himself first then finally told me. I am very glad he did, cuz it's opened up a whole new world for me when I sorta "clued in" that I was bi too! lol!

  23. #23

    Smile Re: How many of you are bi and married

    Bi here...been married for 20 years. Told her about a year after we got married that I had a bi experience. She was cool about it. I've still had
    a few more experiences that she has no idea about. Was 16 when I had
    my first experience and loved it.

  24. #24

    Re: How many of you are bi and married

    Married 5 yrs and told her when we first got together I had past experiences and wanted to again. She said she wasnt sure how she would feel but if she was included we should try and see how it goes. Well, she loved it and its been by far the best relationship i have ever had. The open communication is such a change and so great its been amazing.

  25. #25

    Re: How many of you are bi and married

    We are both bi and love it. We've been married a little over 7 years and play together as often as we can - time, money and right couple all cum together at the same time

    A couple years after we were married, both of us were trying to figure out if or when we would tell the other. Hubby just blurted it out one night while we were talking in bed and that gave me the opportunity to tell him as well. That's when we started looking for other couples to play with. We generally only play as a couple but either of us are free to play with a same sex partner anytime we want as long as we let the other know about it BEFORE we go.

    It has been great for us and our relationship. No secrets, no lies, no regrets.

    Gem & Rob aka westtennbiguy
    Let's have some XXX FUN!

  26. #26

    Re: How many of you are bi and married

    well thanks for all the feedback but it seems to me from all who wrote in that it is alot easier and more accepted for females to be bi than it is for males to be bi. my wife acctually kinda found out i was bi when she found an email account i had and somehow yahoo gave her the password but needless to say she went crazy calling me a nasty fag, cocksucker, telling me i was discusting but me being stupid i told her it wasn't true that it was something i got caught up in and that i really wasn't gay or bi well she half believes me, why i lied i don't know other than the fact i am scared of loosing the security of being married and worried she will tell everyone or try to keep my son from me, but she asked me what if i found out she was bi how would i react and i said well since i love you i would be fine with it and she said it's just because men are perverts and like watching 2 women together. well i guess she is a prude i don't know but why is it more accepted for women to be bi than it is for men to be bi

  27. #27

    Re: How many of you are bi and married

    Quote Originally Posted by my-00-stang
    well thanks for all the feedback but it seems to me from all who wrote in that it is alot easier and more accepted for females to be bi than it is for males to be bi. my wife acctually kinda found out i was bi when she found an email account i had and somehow yahoo gave her the password but needless to say she went crazy calling me a nasty fag, cocksucker, telling me i was discusting but me being stupid i told her it wasn't true that it was something i got caught up in and that i really wasn't gay or bi well she half believes me, why i lied i don't know other than the fact i am scared of loosing the security of being married and worried she will tell everyone or try to keep my son from me, but she asked me what if i found out she was bi how would i react and i said well since i love you i would be fine with it and she said it's just because men are perverts and like watching 2 women together. well i guess she is a prude i don't know but why is it more accepted for women to be bi than it is for men to be bi
    Are you sure she's not actually angry at you for lying and cheating?

  28. #28

    Re: How many of you are bi and married

    Been in Lifestyle for 14 yrs with wife. She staretd with women about 14 yrs ago, never been with one before and never would have tried if not for me. I started about 4 yrs ago and hadn't because it is taboo in lifestyle with straight cpls. Seems it's ok for women , but not guys.

  29. #29

    Re: How many of you are bi and married

    Hi, I`m bi and soon to get married. she is also bi but not into the bi stuff like contacts or organis.. but we are happy fam. with 3 kids as well. Wounder if my 2 year old son are gay. to feminin. lol.

  30. #30

    Re: How many of you are bi and married

    I've been married almost 24 years (no, my wife does not know) and, although I had some experiences as a kid, have only accepted that I'm bi for the last few years.

    For those of you that might be curious, when I married I had no idea of my attraction to men (at least on a consious level). It wasn't until I was in my mid-40s that my bi feelings began to noticably surface.

 

 

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