Hello, all!
I would like to thank all of you who answered my posts, and who also sent me private messages. They meant a lot!
I finally grew up, and broke up with my BF. Last night, actually.
I realized a few things, and CherokeeMtnCat, one thing you said awhile back hit home. You will understand in a moment.
We had been together almost 2 years. During this time, he cheated on me about 4-5 times with men that he met on a gay cruising site. I found out about these "sessions" because I inadvertantly stumbled upon the website on his computer. Once that happened, it became a trust issue, and I kept looking, and the more I looked, the more I found.
Cherokee said the fact that I was doing that, alone, was a HUGE sign that this relationship was not healthy, and she was absolutely RIGHT!
I sat him down TWICE and said I was open for him to be Bi, but he had to be open with me. Both times he emphatically denied anything, and both times I knew better and felt betrayed and disappointed. And scared about the possiblity of STDs! (happy to say I am free of any of that, thank goodness).
We had an unusual dynamic from the start. I am a single mom with 2 kids, who values her alone time and family time. He has lived alone for many years and wanted his free time. It turned into him only wanting to see me every other weekend, and that just wasn't cutting it - and add to it the idea that he may have been cruising and I just couldn't take it anymore.
I am not a snoop by trade, and I have learned so much and grown so much through all of this. While my head knows, unreservedly, that this is the right decision, my heart does hurt.
Again, this forum has been such a help to me as I navigated through this process. Thanks again to those of you who cared (you know who you are) and HAPPY FRIDAY!!
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