I've probably known i was bi for a couple of years but only recently fully excepted it. Does it sound weird that it feels like theres a switch inside that makes me more attracted to a different sex at different times? Is there anyone that can relate?
hahahah, that's GREAT ! I don't know about switching attraction to different genders, but I do feel as if I have a rhythm or something. It seems like every few weeks my libido skyrockets for a spell, and then relatively subsides again for some time.
definatly get the sky rocket libido!
I guess I go through stages. Sometimes I prefer women physically and sometimes men. It ebbs and flows... I am always into both, but I notice my fantasies shift from time to time.
Fake glasses + Mustache tattoo = perfect disguise
Oh man, don't worry. Many, many folks have preferences that fluctuate. It's almost cyclical. I can't explain it but there it is.
No, Bi_ukm, I don't think your experience sounds weird, or that a sexual attraction switch would feel weird, unless, as you mentioned, one was in denial about it. I, myself, only became bisexual within the past ten years, having been exclusively attracted to women before that. My switch came about after bumping into the first gay man I ever met who was a former model and still sculptured like a Greek god-so, naturally, resistance was futile. There was an instant zing between us. After that I began noticing that the men in the "sexiest actors of the year" articles in the TV guide were actually sexy-of course, I didn't understand what was happening to me all in the same day, but for me the realization was a gentle evolution on my way to becoming a mature adult. My problem with my sexuality at that time was with my dominant orientation-sadomasochism and bondage. I have had bdsm feelings since I was five (wanting to get beat up by girls in my kindergarten class), which felt unnatural and wrong for my whole life, up to that point. So, suddenly switching from female to male in sexual attraction wasn't the problem because I wasn't suppressing it, it was accepting my true nature as a total kink freak. Now I'm fully pansexual, I've had erotic dreams about every form of genitalia (including some extraterrestrials) imaginable-not all at once. I switch between them all over a month. I never question why this is, though it's probably hormonal fluctuations. I feel it's the way of the universe. Each bisexual is unique in his or her sexual fluidity. You say you "recently" accepted your bi-nes, so I'm thinking you haven't fully explored your sexuality yet? Try uninhibited masturbation fantasies and see how you feel afterward. Don't try to force yourself to be attracted to the same sex all the time, ask ex-repressed gay men how well that works. If you have definite "seasons", and a lot of bisexuals do, you will need to reconcile yourself to yourself, as it were. I once met a man in his eighties who had been bisexual most of his life and he was really depressed because he still had seasons even though he really wanted to be attracted to one (or both) sexes all the time. I hope your sexuality brings you a lot of joy!
Definitely not weird at all, although I can understand why you'd think so. I thought it was weird until I came here and realized that many of us seem to fluctuate like that! I'm right with Jobelorocks. I mean I'm always attracted to both, and I'm always sexually attracted to my boyfriend, but sometimes I'm fantasizing about what I'm going to do to him, and sometimes I'm fantasizing more about girls. Then there are some days where fantasizing about one will get me hot for the other. Some days I'm just crazy horny and want both! All part of the wonderful complexity of being bisexual!
"I'm not gay, I'm not straight... I'm GRAIGHT!"
"A bisexual is someone who can put their hand down someone else's pants and be happy with whatever they find."
"The most rebellious thing a person can do is be themselves."
I've wondered what causes this 'Switch' or if there is a cause many times.
Could it be that we get a bit bored with gender? Or have cravings for a gender much like we have for a particular food etc? (risking sounding silly.).
I think I react to whatever gender shows most interest, and how much exposure to 'Sexy' m/f's I get.
Anybody have a clue why they switch?
I experience the switch as well. there are times I crave men and others when I crave women and I also have periods when I am not interested in sex at all. (those periods are very short) Starting to feel like Sybil
I certainly switched preferences.. Sometimes for long periods (years or longer).. Then sometimes (like recently) I am a smack dab in the middle Kinsey 3.
I think about the only times that I have been asexual were when I was ill (as opposed to sick, which I am all the time
Originally Posted by Bi_ukm
I have always felt like this. At times I have no desire for play with a man and may not for long spells. All ways have the desire for a lady. When I can have them both at the same time I am on cloud 9.
overall i prefere women, but as far as pure sexual desire there are times i would rather have 1 sex over another. probably normal. might change if i had a gf/wife. but even if not i wouldn't use that as an excuse to cheat on her. i guess unless we had that kinda relationship. very rarely both at the same time. though i wouldn't turn down an offer to experiance that.
I am totally bisexual having sex with both sexes fairly frequently since I was young. I am also hyper sexual so I love having sex and masturbating all the time. I have noticed my sexual fantasies and desires waxes and wanes between the sexes. I've observed that this desire tends to fluctuate corresponding to the length of time it has been since I've had sex with either males or females. If it's been a while the desire can get fairly powerful.
As far as my desires go, I want regular or semi-regular sex with women and men, however for the last 5 years or so I've met and had sex with 20 times more men than women. it's not a function of being a bi switch, it's just the circumstances in which I find myself. It's all to do with the numbers (many thousands) of bi and gay men looking for casual FWB sex versus the number of bi male-friendly women (very few) looking for casual FWB sex and companionship with bisexual men. I could fall in love with a woman again, but I won't ever again commit to exclusivity. I would be monagamous with a woman as far as seeking other women, but I'd still be a cockslut for men LOL. So I haven't really switched to favoring one gender over the other, it's just how things have worked out for me. I want both genders equally, but bi/gay men are the low hanging fruit (no pun or slur intended). There are just so many more likeminded men to choose from than there are likeminded women, therefore I meet many many more men than women.
that could be a reason i'm curious about guys, seems more men are willing to be with me or other guys than women.
Exactly. Except it's not that women are not willing to be with me or you or other men. It's just that there aren't very many women who want to hook up for sex only with no strings, emotional attachments or obligations for future meetings. When bi men make dates with other bi men, it's mutually understood up front that sex is the primary and only reason we are meeting. There's a saying that a woman knows within 5 minutes of meeting a man whether she wants to have sex with him or not But even if she's instantly physically and sexually attracted to her date, it doesn't mean she's going to jump in bed with him on a first date or even on a 2nd or 3rd date. It only means that if he courts her long enough and does and says all the right things, then she probably will have sex with him at some point. Not so with bi and gay men....we meet each other with the main intention and sole purpose of having sex. We don't feel used or have hurt feelings or cause drama if we go to bed and have fun and then one or both of us don't want to meet again. We suck each other's cocks hungrily and enthusiastically. We even pillow talk and tell each other about other men we've been with, what we we did with them and even compare notes to see if we've been to bed with any of the same men LOL We understand each other and revel in the brotherhood of bi-ness. Women are just not wired that way, bless their hearts and I think that's a big reason why so many men turn to other men for sex.
Get turned on by guys sexually, but love women.
Spot on! (No pun intended). My desires wax and wan back and forth as well, largely based on recent adventure, or lack thereof
Yeah i've noticed the lack of really ramps up the desire.
I also love women and am not attracted to guys, but love having guys for sex, although I haven't done it with guys often enough. For me, there are times I rarely think of guys and other times when the feeling is quite strong and have an urge to find a guy for some fun.
Yeah, it switches for me--just wish i knew how to control the switch. Sometimes gets me into trouble!
I don't have a switch, but I'm attracted to both sexes, just depends on what's available that interests me. Must admit at 67, I pretty much only score cock and that's getting rare.
I am SO glad to read this thread. I had no idea that others experienced the same thing as I do. It's not something I could ever talk about with family or friends or wife. Right now I have this incredible urge to suck a cock. A couple of months ago, it was the furthest thing from my mind.
I really like the phrase that Jobelorocks used, my sexuality does, in fact "ebb and flow." Beautifully put and even more wonderfully shared now that I know I'm not alone.
The “switch” or “ebb and flow” which is spoken of here is the very essence of being Bi. I laughed when I read someplace that there is no such thing as being Bi; only straight or gay. Those of us who are in fact Bi and know all of the thoughts and feeling associated with that, know that there is such a thing as Bi. We know it well. Like most of you, sometimes I desire a woman and sometimes I lean towards a man for fun.
True that.The way a bi person naturally seems to be. I love sex with my wife a lot! but I like cock too, & getting fucked by a real cock instead of dildos is something I think would feel a lot better?
Never met a dick I didn't like! Got dick? No? Come get some!...
Reading this thread, I'm reminded of that old almond joy/mounds commercial.
"Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't." Sorry. Couldn't resist.
just unhappy than everybody is concerned with these kinds of decision wisdom for more couples seeking men
Feel like a nut now? I definitely feel like copping a nut at the moment...
Never met a dick I didn't like! Got dick? No? Come get some!...
@bisexualwomen324
Great track record: 3 incoherent, poorly-worded SPAM posts and two equally-lame blog entries.
I agree with a number of others who have posted on this thread. There are periods of time that all I can think about is having sex with a man, then there are times when I fantasize about having sex with a woman, and then there are times were I am not interested in sex at all. I guess that is the glory of being bisexual.
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