anal sex for women

[bizel]

was going to put this under the anal sex - orgasm thread, but that seems more male orientated and didn't want to disturb the line it was going in. but it did bring up questions i've had about anal sex for women. on porn sites, the women are always waving their hair about and rolling their eyes, and in books, they are always having amazing orgasms from anal sex.

my hubby wants to 'rim' me and have anal sex cos he obviously knows how much he enjoys it. but i don't know whether it's my nerves or what, but i don't have much reaction in that area. do other women really enjoy sensations in that area? and if so, are they orgasmic? and if so, what's the secret? can a woman, who has no g spot there, really go bang from anal sex?

[HappyHedonic]

While I am not a woman, here is something I saved from Craigslist that was written by a woman that I've found relevant to my experiences. Enjoy!


Anal? You want anal? Well, have you heard of.............the "ass fuck conspiracy?" You haven't, eh? Well, I probably should not do this, but I will -- I will share the secrets of the little-known ass fuck conspiracy. But only if you promise to use it only for the greater good (aka: pleasure). (Note: there are basics of this plan -- lube, limits, pacing, etc. -- that are well-known, oft-talked about, and are part of any successful sexual interlude which will not be specifically covered here, but DO keep them in mind.)

Overview: Lighten up, no matter how pressing your desire for ass fucking may be. Talking, pressuring or coercing your girl into anal isn't effective. Tricking or forcing her into it is out of the question. Pleasuring her into it is a whole different story........

THE BASIC RULE: You must be well-versed in pleasuring the "usual" parts. That's right, you must be handy with a pussy. If you're not already giving your girl heights of orgasmic pleasure like she's never seen, you're not ready for the ass fuck conspiracy. If you're not skilled with her vagina and related parts (and genuinely enjoy being so), there's no way she's letting you near the "other" place. Period. And she has a sense of this, trust me. If this is an issue, go back and figure it out, then proceed only when you've practiced more.

Step #1: Orgasms, orgasms, and more orgasms (for her, duh). If you're providing your girl with many lovely and varied types of O's, she's going to have an inherent trust in your knowledge of and ability in the area of pleasuring her, which is going to make the issue of ass fucking much more considerable. (see above.) Also, for most girls, its more desirable and more pleasurable to do anal if they've already had at least one or several orgasms. More on this below.

Step #2: Oral, oral and more oral. While you're down there showing off your superior oral abilities and facilitating those O's, mix-it up a bit -- flick your tongue, swirl it, and perform oral on and around her asshole. This will not only introduce her to the fact that there are many lovely nerve-endings there, which she will most likely enjoy, but will exhibit the fact that you are adventurous and appreciative of and committed to the pleasure of her entire being. This creates a much different atmosphere then that of completely avoiding her asshole and then trying to stick something in it. You know?

Step #3: The T'aint. "It ain't the pussy and it ain't the asshole." You may have heard of this little place between the pussy and the asshole. If you are enjoying or working up to Step #2, don't forget this little place for licking, etc.

Step #4a: Fingering. There are a couple different sections to the "fingering" step. Fingering begins on, around and in the vulval area (which you know if you've adhered to the Basic Rule). Specific to the ass fuck conspiracy is the fact that inside the vagina itself, there are many special "spots." (Also useful: "mapping" the vaginal anatomy of your particular girl.) You've most likely heard of or are familiar with the "G." Well, did you know there's a "reverse-side G?" It may have its own special name, but I don't remember it right now. Its on the opposite side of the "G" -- that's right, on the wall seperating her pussy from her ass. The "internal t'aint," if you will. This is a special place; special because it feels really good when stimulated -- tickled, rubbed, pressed on, up, down, side to side, circular, you have to experiment a bit to find the right stimulus for your girl. Also special because most girls haven't had lovers who have taken the time to find all their internal special spots, particularly this one, and if you are that special lover then you have already set yourself apart in a really great way. And special because when you are stimulating this little area, you are actually stimulating her asshole, which is your ultimate goal here in the ass fuck conspiracy. Now, if she really responds to the stimulation of this little area, as evidenced by the usual signs specifying heightened pleasure, you should feel really encouraged. You are most likely golden for ass fucking sometime in your very near future. If she's unresponsive, unsure or she out and out doesn't like it, you may have to reconsider your options or at least spend more time on steps 1-3.

Step #4b. Fingering cont'd. At some point, you're going to want to proceed with your superior fingering skills on into her ass. For several reasons. One -- you want to relax that mostly tight, unrelaxed space slowly. You want to open her up in a pleasurable way, not just ram your tool in there. You try one finger --- slowly, see how that goes, then probably two. Most people know this even if they aren't familiar with the secrets of the ass fuck conspiracy. Reason two -- not only are you relaxing the space, you are pleasuring her. You are now in the vicinity of the reverse G -- but now on the other side of the internal t'aint. Are you with me geographically? So, while you're exploring, relaxing and fingering here, your job is to help her enjoy it. While your fingers are in her ass, you are actually stimulating spots in her vagina. Did you know that? In that light, most of your movements should be directed "up," towards her vagina, as opposed to "down," away from it. It turns out, that nature, in her ever-comical way of tripping us up, has actually made some really great pleasure spots in the vagina easier to reach from the asshole. Ha! Funny isn't it? Even more funny since most women won't let you anywhere near their asshole. Right. ha. This is where I should tell you that many women who haven't experienced vaginal orgasms can and will experience "anal" orgasms via this method. Remember -- its because when you are in her ass, you are really stimulating spots in her vagina. Also remember that the internal t'aint (either side) is a very delicate, thin area (although strong, especially if she kegels), so act accordingly -- nothing too rough or jamming, please. Again, you have to experiment a bit to find out just where her great spots are and to what stimulus she responds best. This should be no problem for you, since at this point, having incorporated all of the above, you are a master lover -- adept at reading all the clues from your lover and responding accordingly. Even if she's super-orgasmo girl and regularly has all types of orgasms -- vaginal, clitoral, etc., she may experience orgasms from this like she never has -- rolling, continuous, non-stop, fully body, etc. And she may squirt, or ejaculate. (I'm not going into female ejaculation here, or debating whether its "real" or not, that's a whole other story, I'm just warning you.) Or she may not. She may not like it. She may feel weird. She may feel out of control. She may love it, but she may feel weird or out of control, and hence, want to stop. You are responsible for dealing with these variables. That's just the way it is. Deal with it without whining no matter how much you were "progressing" with the plan and are bummed you can't proceed.

Step #5: Don't forget the clit. Oh-no-siree. While you're doing all that other stuff, encourage her to play with her clit, or you do it with your other hand. Reasons for this are twofold: One, her clit is a pleasure place, and you want a pavlovian-type association going on here. Two -- it will enhance orgasmic possibilities. And/or give her oral. Remeber the orgasm part above? Now's the time to absolutely insure she's having them.

This is a good time to mention THE GOLDEN RULE: Never ass to pussy! Pussy to ass, OK, but don't put anything in any other places after they've been in her ass, it could lead to yucky infections. Keep track of your fingers, designate if you have to.

Step #6: Actual ass fucking. Now, if you're lucky, and all of the above steps have been successful, you may just find that she's asking you to fuck her ass. You should be so lucky. It could happen. Anyway, you may now be ready to put your cock in her ass. There are many ways to go about this, keeping in mind the foundation of lube, limits and pacing as mentioned above. Here are some tips, since much has been written (and can be found) on how to proceed with ass fucking.
Tip #1: Fuck her pussy first. If you haven't already, its good to do this first. Why? well, it feels good, loosens up the entire area (remember, its all very close together), she may have more orgasms, especially given all the above action, its good for lubrication purposes. And its fun.
Tip #2: Be creative with lube. Yes, there's lube in a tube. There are other types -- her juices, your spit, be inventive, use what's there.
Tip #3: You introduce your tool, let her back onto it at her pace, with you facilitating -- gently, slowly, adding a teensy tinsy bit of equal resistance every time she makes a move. This is teamwork -- you adding resistince provides extra sensation, and if she's hesitant and has already demonstrated she likes you to be "in control" or she likes to be led down debaucherous paths, she needs you to keep the pace or she may abort the mission. I know you're excited, I know you're having fun, but keep track of her responses and don't lose her!
Tip #4: Don't forget the clit. Somebody get the clit! Again, as above, pavlovian connection and increased pleasure.
Tip #5: Reverse cowgirl. Most people only think of one or two positions when planning ass fucking, but don't forget "girl on top," it works for anal too. Reverse cowgirl anal gives her control over depth and movement and allows her to experiment and find all the good spots, what feels best to her.
Tip #6: If she's really enjoying it, she may squirt (see above).
Tip #7: A reminder: never ass to pussy! For those set on indulging in this taboo action, you wear a condom and have her wear a female condom, then everyone is safe and you can go back and forth. Otherwise, never ass to pussy unless you wash (thoroughly) or switch condoms. Even if you're not overly concerned about your partner's health (which you should be), think of it this way: even if she loves it, you're not doing it again anytime soon if you give her an infection through sloppy habits. I know its all close together, figure it out.
Tip #8: Safe Word. "Safe word", you say? "We're not S&M types, we don't need a safe word." Well, you might, so come up with one just in case. You see, due to various psycho-social factors as well as thin lines between pleasure and pain, your girl may feel the need to tell you to stop or say no even if she doesn't want you to. And you don't want to stop if you don't have to do you? No, I didn't think so. So, "stop" or "no" are not good safe words. Come up with something else -- "red" or "pickle" or "smurf" or anything at all that doesn't usually come up in a sexual context. Because you DO want to stop if she really wants you to. Not stopping if she really wants you to will completely ruin the ass fuck conspiracy.
Tip #9: She may cry. In case you haven't noticed, girls can be kinda emotional. Just because she cries doesn't (necessarily) mean you hurt her or something. She might cry for any number of reasons -- intense orgasms, emotional release, just because. Hey, she also might laugh. Don't take it personally.

Whew! If you've done all this, you are successfully ass fucking! Congratulations. Proceed as with other fucking and enjoy.

Other considerations: You may have to enact the ass fuck conspiracy over a period of time -- days, weeks, months -- it all depends on the variables of how long you've been together, how open-minded she is, etc. With a girl you haven't been with that long who's never been open to anal, it could take a while. I am in no way implying you can be successful in one session (or at all, for that matter) even if you are the greatest lover on earth. Oh, and the bigger you are, the longer its going to take, sorry. You could be "stuck" at #2 or #4b for quite awhile. Let her know how much you love it, let her enjoy all the fabulous orgasms, let her know in a really sexy way how much fun you're having and how much you really want her ass one day. Naughty mid-day phone calls reminding her of these things don't hurt either. Once you actually do it, she may love it but not let you do it that much. She may love it and want you to do it all the time. She may love it and have "issues" about it. She may be worried you're "ruining" her asshole, her virtue, etc. If she starts ejaculating, you may have more laundry to do. She may eventually want to be DP'd, and you may have to buy more toys. More chores and financial investment due to ass fucking!? Who knew? Well, you started it. She may follow you to the ends of the earth for providing such mind-blowing orgasms. More drama may come about in eventual breaking up. ("But I let you fuck my ass!") She may be mad at you for turning her into an anal slut. Ass fucking can be murky territory. These are all your problems to deal with. Good luck.

Endnotes: Yes, I'm a girl. Yes, I enjoy anal. Yes, I used to be a girl who said I'd never let anyone do anything to my ass. Yes, some ass-fucker got me with this plan. It took him a month (and many, many mind -blowing orgasms and naughty mid-day phone calls). No, I wasn't aware of "the plan" at the time; I figured out his evil conspiracy later and I deemed it the "ass fuck conspiracy," he laughed. Yes, we met on cl. Yes, we broke up. Yes, I was mad at him for turning me into an anal slut. Yes, I got over it. Yes, I ejaculate. No, I'm not looking for dates. Bye!

[Realist]

Bizel,

Even though I've been bisexual since before I can remember, I have never craved anal sex. I've only allowed two male lovers take me anally, but even then it was only because I loved them and wanted to please them........and, because both of them had thin cocks. (One short cock with thin shaft and one longer with a thin shaft.....with lots and lots of lube, I experienced no pain)

About half of my male lovers....9, which makes that 4 1/2 of them!....wanted to be entered, anally.

As for rimming.......I cannot fathom anyone getting a thrill out of licking my anus, nor can I visualize myself licking anyone there! There's no way a person can clean themselves enough for me to want to do it! That is just not gonna happen!

I've been with more women, than men, but only two actually asked for anal sex. There are at least two female members, here, who do enjoy it, though. Personally, as far as I'm concerned, nothing beats vaginal intercourse, or oral sex! But, as you know, the brain can persuade a person to desire different things.

This is just my perspective, NOT advice.............. but, if my lover wanted to experiment with something new, as long as I'm OK with it...fine. However, if I was uncomfortable, totally put off, or think something might be painful, I'm absolutely NOT going to it...... whatever it is!

Along this same vein, if I had urges to experiment with something, but my lover is adverse to it, I will drop the subject. I won't coerce a lover to do anything they don't want to do. I feel compelled to honor my lover's wishes and not require them to go beyond their limits!

If they have an overwhelming desire to do something, that I don't want to.... and if it's too big a deal with them, I'll let them go, before I subject myself to their whims. But that's just me.

If you decide that you want to attempt anal sex, I'd advise you to discuss it with someone who really enjoys it............preferably one of the ladies who like it.

Good luck!

[BicuriousIndy2]

My wife has had some wild orgasms will having anal sex, she would cum so hard.

[cornholejoe]

all i can tell you is some women like it and some dont if is just something you will have to try and see for yourself

[innaminka]

I enjoyed anal sex when I was with my husband - but it was done "proprely" according to the Craig's List C&P.
It gave us a sense of "together" and trust. My husband certainly enjoyed the tightness back there provided, whilst although anal penetration does not bring on orgasms per-se, it does get my body tigling so that when correct stimulation was given - they "popped" of very easily and very regularly.
I also enjoyed the sense of "filling" it gave. It hurts, but the pain is such that it's incredibly pleasant: I believe it activates the natural endorphins and gives a tiny high.

I only offered my bottom to two other men. One was just as good, one was not.

It does seem, in my experience, to be a male thing, that anal penetration between women is really not much of an issue, although oral stimulation of "back there" is just a natural part of lovemaking.

[DuckiesDarling]

Well I've posted this before so I'll just say it again in brief. I like anal but more because my first experience with anal was positive. If it had hurt too much I don't think I would ever have tried it again. I'm lucky now to have a partner who is very good at anal and I enjoy recieving from him as well as giving to him. Except when he grabs the mentol lube......

[moonlitwish]

I enjoy anal only when super aroused and feeling oddly extra kinky... As a result, I can't say that I've had an orgasm from anal because there was so much more going on at the time...

[swmnkdinthervr]

My wife enjoys anal sex immensely, having incredibly intense orgasms that way! She is multi-orgasmic so we have to pace her sometimes so as not to burn out her energy! She is so sensitive in every way with the ability to have vaginal (G spot) orgasms, clitoral orgasms it seemed natural she would like anal sex too, we weren't disappointed!!! She likes both toys and cock but we don't play anally every time or even every week, we keep that play as special play for when we're a bit more "randy" than usual.

[Bigguy90035]

I've had anal sex with several of my female partners. At least a few actually came during it. One really seemed to get off on it, even more than vaginal intercourse, but I think it was kink rather than a strictly physical thing.

I enjoy it, but it's a lot of work. I'm fairly thick, so I go real slowly with lots of foreplay. Generally, vaginal intercourse is better for me because I don't need to be so careful with my partner, but anal sex can be very intimate.

If it turns you on, go for it. Some women, for whatever reason, aren't into it at all, which is fine, too. Don't feel you need to go all the way initially, you can work up to it over time.

It shouldn't hurt (after the initial discomfort). Use plenty of lube, and start with oral, digital and mechanical stimulation first. Perhaps the first few times, do it without intercourse as an adjunct to oral sex (works for guys, too).

If you don't get off on it, that's fine, it's not your thing. Your partner should respect that, but consider doing it for him. Also, there's the whole submission kinky thing to play around with...

[DuckiesDarling]

I've had anal sex with several of my female partners. At least a few actually came during it. One really seemed to get off on it, even more than vaginal intercourse, but I think it was kink rather than a strictly physical thing.

I enjoy it, but it's a lot of work. I'm fairly thick, so I go real slowly with lots of foreplay. Generally, vaginal intercourse is better for me because I don't need to be so careful with my partner, but anal sex can be very intimate.

If it turns you on, go for it. Some women, for whatever reason, aren't into it at all, which is fine, too. Don't feel you need to go all the way initially, you can work up to it over time.

It shouldn't hurt (after the initial discomfort). Use plenty of lube, and start with oral, digital and mechanical stimulation first. Perhaps the first few times, do it without intercourse as an adjunct to oral sex (works for guys, too).

If you don't get off on it, that's fine, it's not your thing. Your partner should respect that, but consider doing it for him. Also, there's the whole submission kinky thing to play around with...

You know you were doing fine til your last half of your last paragraph. No one should do anything they don't want to do just to please their partner. Not anal sex, not letting them go sleep with others, not changing the way they think, not changing the way they dress, not ceasing to be their own person with their own rights over their own body.

[smokey]

Anal sex requires far more foreplay than vaginal sex... so if your husband isn't willing to spend a lot of time rubbing, rimming and fingering (with well lubed fingers) then it is not going to be a pleasurable experience. In fact its a wise idea to have even hotter regular foreplay than usual before he goes exploring.

Personally I begin with rubbing the asshole and the area round it then settle in for a nice long rim job using a lot of saliva to start loosening the hole then I wiggle my tongue in as far as it will go, stiffen it and start tongue fucking to get her used to the idea. Then I begin fingering. If you don't need a condom I cannot sing the praises of coconut oil enough. Start with one finger, then ease in a second, then a third... if he are patient and gentle and using a lot of lube he can eventually get all four fingers and thumb up your ass as far as the knuckles (hand squeezed together) without pain... then start fucking your ass with them. This is important because the base of the knuckles is wider than any dick I have ever met and will stretch you amply... it also helps to be rubbing your clit all through this. Then and only then should he think about inserting his well greased cock up your ass. I like to just insert the glans and let the woman set the pace and depth of penetration until its all the way in...

The thing to remember... if there is any pain, you guys are doing something wrong... or the position just isn't working for you... have him lube more or slow down or change position because anal sex when done right is incredible... I don't know about other men but I last considerably longer anally than vaginally and a well done ass fuck can (again I stress) when done right cause bone rattling orgasms for both partners.

[darkeyes]

.. it holds a much attraction for me as being run over by a lorry and dragged along screaming all the way from Edinburgh to London.. I do know other women who like it and like it a lot and thats fine.. but for me? No thanx....

[Bigguy90035]

If you don't get off on it, that's fine, it's not your thing. Your partner should respect that, but consider doing it for him. Also, there's the whole submission kinky thing to play around with...

No one should do anything they don't want to do just to please their partner. Not anal sex, not letting them go sleep with others, not changing the way they think, not changing the way they dress, not ceasing to be their own person with their own rights over their own body.

I think my statement stands on its own. I did not mean to imply coercion, or doing something that one has misgivings about. I suppose I should be more sensitive, as I can imagine it is very stressful to be badgered by a partners to participate in activities one finds distasteful.

I do things all the time just to please my partner, whether it's oral sex or taking out the trash...I choose to do these things for the satisfaction I get from doing something nice for someone I care about. If I have an issue with something, I communicate it...and "NO" means "NO", of course. I did not mean to imply anything else.

[maxtor]

me and my gf just had anal sex last night and it was great. it took a bit of work but she guided me and i felt it slid right in and my cock got so hard and i felt that sphincter muscle tighten a bit around my cock and didnt take me long to unload into her. she didnt take much foreplay cause she had wanted it for a long time she told me. i enjoy a mans cock in me also but we are getting a double dong strap on for her but it is still not like a mans real cock. she doesnt know that i am bi yet but i think she will find out soon. i hope she will encourage me to get a friend to take care of me also along with her also.

[frikidiki]

I liked the quoted CraigsList post by that woman. I'm pretty good in that area, but I feel like I learned something from reading it.

To anyone that's trying to get into butt sex, I'd say that experimenting on one's own is much better. Those tips can easily be adapted for masturbation.

For that matter, they can be adapted for use on guys, too!

[Maggot]

my hubby wants to 'rim' me and have anal sex cos he obviously knows how much he enjoys it. but i don't know whether it's my nerves or what, but i don't have much reaction in that area. do other women really enjoy sensations in that area? and if so, are they orgasmic? and if so, what's the secret? can a woman, who has no g spot there, really go bang from anal sex?

Yes, some if not a lot of women really enjoy the sensations of anal stimulation - myself included. They range from warmly pleasurable, to full on sheet ripping orgasm. The strongest orgasms I have ever had have been during dp. The only secret is trusting the person who is fucking your ass.

If 'you' want to give it a go, try starting out with slim anal vibrators or butt plugs first either by yourself or with your husband, use lots of lube. Work up gradually to having his cock up there when you feel ready for it.

[BiBedBud]

^Up^

(Just trying to "elevate" this thread to the first page.)

[foreverbi]

I have been married 3 times & all of them made it clear to me that their asshole was definitely an exit only, but they all loved to fuck MY ass with a dildo. I loved every inch of it though.

[Emunahd]

It's amazing, when done right!!

[lv69cpl69]

My wife LOVES IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[guycurious]

My wife tolerates it for my sake and I LOVE receiving it. It's been about a year since I've had any male/male interaction and I miss it badly. The urges/desires are pretty overwhelming at times.

[lilmel_2010]

yes I agree.. Its great if done right and if your partner knows what he or she is doing.. I love it!!! Even though I dont do it with just anyone, but I do enjoy it!!!

[JulianForFun]

I am an anal fucker lover. I respect the woman or man and I let them take there time getting into it. One always needs to start slow and easy gently opening up the tight ass, feeling it spread and get ready for deeper and/or faster (some like it fast some not). Lube is essential. It feels so good to fuck a tight ass and i love the sounds and looks of the receiver.

Bless all of you anal lovers! I will provide!

[debodeb]

I love anal! its amazing so much better when we are having a mmf one in my arse one in my pussy its doesn't get any better. Use good lube and take it slow.