Bath House Prude...

**mikey3000** · May 12, 2011, 3:38 PM

Hey y'all

Ok, so I've been invited to a bath house (again) by a group of my bi male friends. I've never been before and really have no interest (except for a passing curiousity) in it. The thing is, now I'm getting the gears from them for being a prude

. I like these guys, and I like to hang out socially with them too, but I'm not comfortable with the whole bath house thing. I KNOW a few of them wanna do me and I keep fending them off. Am I being a prude by not going? Just getting gand banged in public is not my idea of fun.

**69luvr** · May 12, 2011, 3:46 PM

Originally Posted by mikey3000

Hey y'all

Ok, so I've been invited to a bath house (again) by a group of my bi male friends. I've never been before and really have no interest (except for a passing curiousity) in it. The thing is, now I'm getting the gears from them for being a prude

. I like these guys, and I like to hang out socially with them too, but I'm not comfortable with the whole bath house thing. I KNOW a few of them wanna do me and I keep fending them off. Am I being a prude by not going? Just getting gand banged in public is not my idea of fun.

most bath houses have private room to engage in sex. The scenario is go to the steam room and find someone. then go back to his room. Or go to a pool area and have fun. then seek shelter in a private room. Its fun and I encourage you to give it a try.

**Realist** · May 12, 2011, 4:08 PM

Mikey, you should do what you feel the most comfortable with. Don't allow anyone to goad you into something, you may regret later.

I've been actively bi since I was 14, but wouldn't feel comfortable in a crowd like that, myself.

**Falke** · May 12, 2011, 4:15 PM

Originally Posted by Realist

Mikey, you should do what you feel the most comfortable with. Don't allow anyone to goad you into something, you may regret later.

I've been actively bi since I was 14, but wouldn't feel comfortable in a crowd like that, myself.

Agreed on both accounts.

I don't know about you Mikey, but I already get annoyed with the random people here who PM me for a random hookup, and in real you can't just simply ignore them.

**bizel** · May 12, 2011, 5:04 PM

when i've felt pushed into a situation i'm not comfortable with, i say 'no thanks' and leave it at that. i don't care if people think i'm a prude or not. if they think that way about me, i'd rather not have them in my life - that can be my or their decision later. my real friends look out for me, and i for them. other people's opinions don't count. i usually find though, that people who have enough confidence and self-esteem to say no to peer pressure are the ones i admire more. would you rather be like that, or someone who just goes along with it and resents it afterwards? peer pressure and bullying don't stop just cos we leave school. it's in our everyday life. put a smile on your face and say 'no thanks'. they don't need a reason, they just need a decision. hug, b.

**lizard-lix** · May 12, 2011, 5:13 PM

Maybe you are a prude, maybe you are not, but it doesn't matter. Like others have said, ya gotta be you and do what you are comfortable with.

Anyone who can't accept that is not a friend.

No matter who you are and where you are, no thanks, is no...

**Diva667** · May 12, 2011, 7:18 PM

sex for some people is intensely personal and private. Its not something you should do because you feel pressured. Do it because you want to.

**mikey3000** · May 12, 2011, 7:35 PM

You are right. I'm one of those that likes to at least know their names. I love to kiss passionately and look into their eyes at the moment of extasy and know I'm more than just a fuck. So...

In other words, yup, I chickened out again.

Maybe in the future sometime, but not right now. And my bi guys are totally ok with it. They texted me now as they're gathering and said I'll know when I'm ready.

Thanks all for your great advice.

**flanudistbi** · May 12, 2011, 9:02 PM

hey i'll go with them...i've always wanted to go to them,but not by myself. i have a curiousity about them and willing to give it a go. i probably won't do much since i don't trust strangers, but i think it would be fun to go and watch. wished i had friends like that lol

**Long Duck Dong** · May 13, 2011, 12:29 AM

prude ???? lol.... just not interested in going to bath houses, is my opinion....

its like mcdonalds and kfc, just cos you don't wanna go there, doesn't mean that you are a vegan... it just means that you are not interested in going there....

besides, you come across as a person that is more into meanful connections more than casual sex ( based around many of your past posts ) and having a casual fling with ya friends may cause more issues than its worth....

**bizel** · May 13, 2011, 2:21 AM

in japan, bath houses are for, well, bathing. have i got it all wrong? are bath houses for casual sex? how do you know? what if you just want to, well, bathe?

**mikey3000** · May 25, 2011, 8:08 PM

Update time...

Last night I went out to dinner with one of my bi friends who was pestering me to go to th bath house with him. We had a great dinner and an even better discussion. I really enjoy his company and IF I were ever to do something in a bath house, it would have been with him. But things have changed now and I'm glad I chickened out and didged that bullet. He just found out that him and his partner are both HIV positive.