Do women ever knowingly date bi men?

[RobUK]

Hi

I've been reading a lot about women have reacted to finding out their husband/bf is bi (some take it well, some don't).

I'm not so inexperienced with girls as to discuss sexual preferences on a first date, but, if a girl knew about her man's sexuality before they became serious, would she stay with him?

I don't know if there are any straight girls on this site, but I do know there's several bi girls - I would welcome your comments. Or, indeed, any bi guys who've got any experience of such...

Rob

[ThreeInOne]

Haven't had any experience with this yet, but my wife (who is Bi) gets the interest of another Bi girl and things progress, till they find out shes with a guy (me) and all of sudden they are not interested. Couldn't tell you why.

[RobUK]

Haven't had any experience with this yet, but my wife (who is Bi) gets the interest of another Bi girl and things progress, till they find out shes with a guy (me) and all of sudden they are not interested. Couldn't tell you why.

That almost sounds like rejection by association...

[Something Else]

I have been, and still am, very curious to know about this too!

I had reconnected with my XGF recently and we were talking about different things that were important to us and what new self-discoveries that have emerged along the way.

As we were sharing & updating, I made it known that I've been dating guys too now. Yet still have attractions to women, and would like to date them but am not sure how to bring it up.

Her advice was: to NOT TELL
Despite my naivete and desire to share this aspect of myself, my XGF said it would be ill-advised. Her opinion was that I shouldn't, because I would scare them away?!

That was a disheartening moment, to say the least. I've been taking a break of pursuing female relationships until I am able to figure out how to, and more importantly, when to let them know I like girls AND guys. Since the only woman I've told, my XGF, made it seem like I would be persona non grata if I did tell

Needless to say will observe this thread closely.

Thanks OP for bringing it up!

[rds0108]

I'm a bi guy who's currently with a straight woman. I told her about a month into the relationship, and she didn't bat an eye. We've been together for about a year and a half now. As with everything else, the reaction you get depends on the person.

[caldura]

I told my future wife, i was bi...after she told me she was a few weeks after we started dating and she loved it. Blew me away but there you go...you never know. Shes even gone as far as set me up with (not so attractive) guys so she could watch. Some women are really turned on by 2 guys fucking each other...good luck finding one though

[Realist]

Rob,

I've been down that road, and it seems to turn out different each time.

Example: My 1st wife was bi, but let me know before we married that she thought it was "natural" for women to be attracted to other women, because, in her words, "They are pretty, smell good, and have soft, sensual curves."

She was adamant when she said, "Men, however, have none of those traits, so they should not be sexually attractive to each other!"

Our lives were almost mirror images of each other; we both were seduced by older people when we were in our early teens, we only were intimate with those we really cared about, or loved, and did not bed-hop. Since she did not want me to be with other guys, I avoided all male sexual contact during our marriage. I loved her enough that it didn't matter than much to me. (Not sure what I would have done, if I'd fallen in love with a fellow, though)

My present GF is totally OK with my being bi, but my 3rd marriage failed because I refused to stop writing an old male lover, who lived on the other side of the country.

I never cheated on her. I even passed up a few opportunities to have male lovers, but I didn't want to lose contact with a fellow who had been a wonderful friend, as well as a lover. I saw no harm in corresponding with him.

There is a member here, who has craved being with a man for most of his life, but can't bring himself to tell his wife. From what he tells me, I think she may be OK with him having a male lover, if he approaches telling her in the right way. But who knows? I certainly will not advise him what to do, because there's no way I'd want to be responsible for his actions.

He, just as you, must make your own decisions and do what is appropriate for YOU!

[welickit]

Listen to Realist. You can't suggest a situation that he hasn't been involved in.

[Long Duck Dong]

my partner, duckies darling, is straight.... she knew I was bisexual, and she knew the terms I laid down for myself before we got involved......

so the answer is yes, women date bi guys..... but women perfer open and honest bi guys..... that why they know what they are committing to, before they commit to it

[gfofbiguy]

Hi

I've been reading a lot about women have reacted to finding out their husband/bf is bi (some take it well, some don't).

I'm not so inexperienced with girls as to discuss sexual preferences on a first date, but, if a girl knew about her man's sexuality before they became serious, would she stay with him?

I don't know if there are any straight girls on this site, but I do know there's several bi girls - I would welcome your comments. Or, indeed, any bi guys who've got any experience of such...

Rob

I am str8 and my b/f (Bisexualnewbie) told me he was bi before we even met face-to-face to give me an "out" in case I didn't want to meet him (we "met" online through a personal ad site). I still wanted to meet him and here we are, almost four and a half years later, still together and have been living together for about four years now. I appreciated his honesty that he told me he was bisexual upfront, to give me the choice whether or not I wanted to even meet him. I knew I wanted to meet him anyways, whether he was bi or not - I liked the whole person, and him being bi is only part of him.

Good luck to you, Rob.

~~Gfofbiguy

[DuckiesDarling]

Hi

I've been reading a lot about women have reacted to finding out their husband/bf is bi (some take it well, some don't).

I'm not so inexperienced with girls as to discuss sexual preferences on a first date, but, if a girl knew about her man's sexuality before they became serious, would she stay with him?

I don't know if there are any straight girls on this site, but I do know there's several bi girls - I would welcome your comments. Or, indeed, any bi guys who've got any experience of such...

Rob

Simple answer yes. I knew LDD was bi before we ever did more than minor flirt and most definitely before we were physically together. I'll add to what my partner said. It's not wanting open and honest bi guys, it's wanting open and honest guys period.

[julbug]

my partner, duckies darling, is straight.... she knew I was bisexual, and she knew the terms I laid down for myself before we got involved......

so the answer is yes, women date bi guys..... but women perfer open and honest bi guys..... that why they know what they are committing to, before they commit to it

I'm straight and married to a bi man and I have to agree with LDD, I would have prefered to know before we were married instead of 10 yrs later. Would it have changed anything? I don't know, I can only base my reaction on today not the past, but nothing has changed. Except maybe a deeper understanding of him and a more adventuresome sex life.

I don't think you need to divulge every aspect of your sexuality on the first date, but you should be more informative as the relationship progresses into something more serious.

[IM_ME]

I've known girls that say they are turned on by two guys making out and such. Not sure if any of them would date a guy that is onto doing that though.

But if I can, I do need to find one of those girls. I'd hope that if they get turned on by watching gay porn they wouldn't mind dating a guy that likes to give them what they want.

[djones]

The woman I am dating now knows I am BI.

After about two weeks of intimate dating, I gave her the "by the way, I'm Bisexual" talk. She was a little taken aback at first, but is pretty relaxed about it now. Still has a lot of questions, and some of the stereotypical misconceptions are slower to dispel than others.

But the short answer to your question is yes - some women do knowingly date Bi men.

[NotLostJustWandering]

I tell everyone right off the bat. My (admittedly neurotic) pattern is to get intimate very quickly after establishing the mutual attraction, so usually there's been at least an exchange of saliva before the big conversation happens, but the big conversation happens pretty much as soon as it's appropriate to return to talking again.

Some women get turned away, most don't. I think I unconsciously screen out most of the women who would have a problem with it. But I can't depict myself as a model for success; I also seem to screen out the women who would take me seriously as a long-termer, or whom I should...

[RockGardener]

I was brought to this site by a bi man. He told me about it when I told him I am bi. I knew he was bi before I met him in person. Then... my bf at the time came out to me. We stayed together until it was not possible anymore. We did not break up because of the bisexuality.

I decided now that I do not want to date str8 guys, I only want bi guys. So, yes! Women definitely knowingly date bi guys!

[MrBisex]

I know there is a lot of women out there, where bisexual men is a big turn on for them.

Some are pretty open about it, other a little bit more closed.

I think it is best to ask yourself do you want to be open about being bisexual or keep it for yourself in a future relationship before you actually start dating.

If you want to be open about it, then put the cards on the table from the beginning so she knows.

If she does not like it, she is nothing for you anyway because your choice was to be open about your sexuality

[judayxlo]

My boyfriend is bi, and I'm a straight girl.
I've known that he was bi since the beginning of our relationship, but it hasn't really bothered me until a while later.
The only reason why it bothers me is just because I'm super possessive...and other things probably..but that's not the issue here.
I think it all depends on the person you're dating. I'm pretty insecure and I have issues that lingered from my childhood, so I think I'm just weird.

[just4mefc]

My boyfriend is bi, and I'm a straight girl.
I've known that he was bi since the beginning of our relationship, but it hasn't really bothered me until a while later.
The only reason why it bothers me is just because I'm super possessive...and other things probably..but that's not the issue here.
I think it all depends on the person you're dating. I'm pretty insecure and I have issues that lingered from my childhood, so I think I'm just weird.

You are not weird, just human.

[BiCycler]

Short answer: Yes.
I guess it all depends on the individual. To Somethingelse; please do not take your xgf's advice to not tell women you are becoming invovled with about your sexuality. (I think that's what I read). Tell all of them. The ones that run, would eventually run anyways (unless you wait until their investment in the relationship is enough that they will make personal compromises to weather a later revelation about your sexuality). The ones that stay are either open enough to understand and accept it, or better yet excited about it.
I speak from experience when I (a man) say that 'yes women do date bisexual men'. I have been married twice. Both long term (12 and 10 years). Both exes knew about my bisexuality. I told my first wife after about a year. Was a shocker, some adjustmment and we got on to our eventual demise over many things unsexuality related. I told my second wife right away. I told her I wanted her to know so that she could make an informed decision about us before we became vested in the relationship and so that the issue didn't raise it's ugly head later. Well that ugly head rose despite my forthought and it did become a factor. I was called a "little faggot" many times. And she told me she thought the whole idea was repugnant. (Different words). I guess what I learned there was that she has issues of all kinds. Poor woman (No doubt I do too).
Well to make a long story longer... I am currently with a woman (my partner) who knew my boyfriend when I was living with him and through association knew who I was. My boyfriend and I split after he went on a solo year-long world trek. (Hmmmmm, Is it me, I wonder?). About three years later, fully aware, she entered into what is now our fabulous ever deepening relationship. We talk about sexuality and she tells me, she understands why I like men She also says that she can not be a man for me, so doesn't in the least feel threatened. (She did have questions around this at the outset of our relationship and I cited the length of both my former [monogomous] marriages as a bit of food for thought). We have shared our bed with another man and I believe I have really found someone who loves ME. All of me, including the sexual me. Truth is easy, especially if you start that way.
I hope that answers the original question

[ErosUrge]

The answer to that question many others have given and I agree. And I myself have had three women in my life that accepted my sexuality; two straight and one bi. For other reasons we parted, not because I am bi. Curious thing now is that I seem to continue to run into women who reject bi males. lt has become quite frustrating but I continue knowing that there are women who do accept it. I have remained honest with myself and to the women who have been interested in me. My last girlfriend closed the door on our relationship primarily because of me being bi as I had told her from the beginning. Though she tried to accept it, it never settled well with her and we parted after a year together. One can't control the fact that others are unaccepting nor should we judge them for not accepting it. If they choose to be negative about your sexuality it really is not your problem and of course as others have already stated it's for the best in the long run. I have become involved in relations where I allowed things to go on without ever revealing my sexuality thinking that somehow my desire for sex with men would go away and it didn't. No reason to allow that sort of thing to ever happen; it's a waste of everyone's energy. So by all means, keep it open and honest. Sooner or later, she will arrive.

[TaylorMade]

Haven't had any experience with this yet, but my wife (who is Bi) gets the interest of another Bi girl and things progress, till they find out shes with a guy (me) and all of sudden they are not interested. Couldn't tell you why.

I can. And I will. Please listen to me... lord knows if I could post this on the door of every swingers club like Martin Luther's 99 Theses, I would!!!

Why we say "FGSFDS" to your female partner as soon as you show up:

Because we can get a guy on our own, and her tastes in men may not be our tastes in men, we wanted her. We didn't want you. That sounds painful as hell, but it's true.

I know you think you're probably different, and maybe you are. Maybe you're an awesome guy, but the moment you're thrown into the picture, we get this vision:



We feel like we've been snared, like some lioness brought down by crafty poachers and being taken back to camp to be skinned and such for his benefit. And we'll be damned if we're gonna be some goddamned trained seal for some straight guy's whack off fantasies.

So, how do you avoid this?

Get to know us first. As friends. Maybe sex will happen, maybe not. We're not a USB tool you can pick up from Best Buy. We're people. Maybe once we're all nice and cozy, we will like you enough to let your naughty bits near us. Maybe we'll still just like your wife and you'll be cool with that.

And read this thread. Please.

*Taylor*
(I want this stickied!!!!)

[NotLostJustWandering]

I was brought to this site by a bi man. He told me about it when I told him I am bi. I knew he was bi before I met him in person. Then... my bf at the time came out to me. We stayed together until it was not possible anymore. We did not break up because of the bisexuality.

I decided now that I do not want to date str8 guys, I only want bi guys. So, yes! Women definitely knowingly date bi guys!

Know how to make heads turn, don't you, Rock?

[TaylorMade]

I was brought to this site by a bi man. He told me about it when I told him I am bi. I knew he was bi before I met him in person. Then... my bf at the time came out to me. We stayed together until it was not possible anymore. We did not break up because of the bisexuality.

I decided now that I do not want to date str8 guys, I only want bi guys. So, yes! Women definitely knowingly date bi guys!

I haven't gone as far as X'ing out straight dudes, it's just.. if faced with two equal possibilities


(Kyle and Lane Carson. I don't think they're gay OR bi, but they're twins and hot, and the thread needed a good illustration)

And the one on the Left is bi while the one on the Right is straight. I'm going with the one on the left EVERY. FLIPPING. TIME.

*Taylor*

[RobUK]

Yes, thank you for improving the aesthetic quality of the thread....

[Something Else]

Originally Posted by BiCycler
Short answer: Yes.
I guess it all depends on the individual. To Somethingelse; please do not take your xgf's advice to not tell women you are becoming invovled with about your sexuality. (I think that's what I read). Tell all of them. The ones that run, would eventually run anyways (unless you wait until their investment in the relationship is enough that they will make personal compromises to weather a later revelation about your sexuality). The ones that stay are either open enough to understand and accept it, or better yet excited about it.
I speak from experience when I (a man) say that 'yes women do date bisexual men'. I have been married twice. Both long term (12 and 10 years). Both exes knew about my bisexuality. I told my first wife after about a year. Was a shocker, some adjustmment and we got on to our eventual demise over many things unsexuality related. I told my second wife right away. I told her I wanted her to know so that she could make an informed decision about us before we became vested in the relationship and so that the issue didn't raise it's ugly head later. Well that ugly head rose despite my forthought and it did become a factor. I was called a "little faggot" many times. And she told me she thought the whole idea was repugnant. (Different words). I guess what I learned there was that she has issues of all kinds. Poor woman (No doubt I do too).
Well to make a long story longer... I am currently with a woman (my partner) who knew my boyfriend when I was living with him and through association knew who I was. My boyfriend and I split after he went on a solo year-long world trek. (Hmmmmm, Is it me, I wonder?). About three years later, fully aware, she entered into what is now our fabulous ever deepening relationship. We talk about sexuality and she tells me, she understands why I like men She also says that she can not be a man for me, so doesn't in the least feel threatened. (She did have questions around this at the outset of our relationship and I cited the length of both my former [monogomous] marriages as a bit of food for thought). We have shared our bed with another man and I believe I have really found someone who loves ME. All of me, including the sexual me. Truth is easy, especially if you start that way.
I hope that answers the original question

Definitely learning a lot of different point of views from actual Bi-relationships here. It has been great hearing anecdotal accounts of managing a relationship built on honesty, integrity & communication. It does add more hope than I felt before the OP, RobUK, decided to create this thread...Great idea Rob!

And it's funny you mentioned my XGF, BiCycler--and cool double entendre there.
In my confessions of my dual attractions for guys & girls, my XGF explained to me that she also had similar attractions...to my amazement?! I had no idea, at all! I was thinking: WOW, we really were similar! She even verbalized as much! However, she never told me her dual attractions while we were together. I would have definitely been intrigued!

As fate would have it, now she looks at her same sex attraction with disdain & wants me to view my bisexuality the same; especially now that she's cemented in her religious beliefs that same sex attractions are sinful.
To that I told her that my belief is: God is Love; Love is God. I will put my faith that God appreciates ALL expressions of Love than put my faith in MAN knowing what is pure and right in our hearts.

I will say this much...
learning about my XGF dual attractions and what her point of view is now, made me wonder if this is why so many people are against Bisexuality? Because they, themselves, have chosen to not pursue a natural side of them; subsequently they project that point of view onto others whom are similar to them? Anyways, sorry for my ramble...tend to talk a lot as you can see here haha ;p

And still loving this thread! It is encouraging & empowering to know that there are women, irrespective of their man's dual attractions, that are in loving committed relationships. Not a lot of opportunities to hear this kind of perspective, elsewhere!

So will go back to reading everyone's take and learning the power of love

[TaylorMade]

Yes, thank you for improving the aesthetic quality of the thread....

Thanks...

Did you at least read my post to Three in One? I'm hoping THEY read it because, lord, it needs to be said.

*Taylor*

[Biboz49]

My answer is yes women date bi guys. A straight exGF loved watching 2 guys together and we talked a lot about bringing another guy into our relationship. It never happened during the time we dated as she was getting possessive (as another poster admitted) and so I'm not sure we would have lasted because of that. When I first met my present lover I admitted right away I was bi before the relationship got serious. She was ok with it without any reservations. We've been together 7 years and living together 6 years and our relationship is solid. She actually began exploring her bi feelings after we met and now together we enjoy being with other bi couples.

[Frau Blucher]

I've known girls that say they are turned on by two guys making out and such. Not sure if any of them would date a guy that is onto doing that though.

But if I can, I do need to find one of those girls. I'd hope that if they get turned on by watching gay porn they wouldn't mind dating a guy that likes to give them what they want.

I hope it's alright that I dredged up this topic, but I'm a brand new member and I wanted to respond.

Yes, there are women who knowingly and preferentially date (and have relationships with) bisexual men, myself included. Just as it is arousing for straight men to see two women together, the same can be said for some straight women, although we tend not to be as vocal about it.

My gay porn collection is much larger than my straight porn collection. And why not? I like men, I'm attracted to men and I like watching two (or more) men have sex. Let's face it, straight porn is all about the women. Which is fine, but I'm not attracted to women, so it doesn't do much for me.

[Bicuriousity]

Very good topic. Yeah women do date bi men if you let them know up front. It is becoming way more common nowadays.