Approachability?

I read a lot on the forum here, and I regularly see other guys mentioning that they often have men approach them or flirt with them, even in conservative areas and small towns where one wouldn't expect as much. That kind of thing never happens to me, or maybe it does and I'm just too dumb to notice LOL. I'm very fit and attractive for my age so I don't think that is the issue. My brother is a big scary looking tattooed biker type, and can walk in to a room of complete strangers and instantly has people talking to him. Everyone from children to little old ladies and everyone in between. It baffles the hell out of me. I'm a little on the shy side, but not terribly so.
So for all of you folks like my Brother, what's your secret? Any advice for those of us less gifted?

Just be You, Darlin. Thats all ya Can do. Not everyone is gregarious and extremely out-going, and thats ok. Just be you, and let people see you as you truly are...inside And out..:}
Cat

Quote:

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Originally Posted by drugstore cowboy

You're going to have to become more social and actually talk to people. The fact that you want or insist upon being "discreet" and want NSA or a fuck buddy and not an actual relationship is also going to limit you.

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I'll agree with DC this time. If you're not outgoing enough to easily meet people, that makes it hard for others that might want to approach you. That's a problem I myself have as I am far from being a social butterfly.

One cavaet in regards to being discreet, though: Some years ago I got the idea that if I was more openly queer it might be easier to attract guys. The reasoning being that would remove the obstacle of guys being afraid to approach me in case they're wrong in thinking I'm queer. If they know I'm queer, they wouldn't have to worry about problems even worse than just rejection in trying to meet me.

I found it actually worked the other way around. If everybody knows you're queer, a potential buddy/boyfriend will likely avoid you lest others think they're queer, too.

I actually had an experience in that regard although the guy in question was already a "boyfriend" of sorts. Once his circle of friends and family found out about me, he stopped seeing me altogether so they wouldn't point fingers at him.

I have no idea what the proper middle ground might be- out vs. closeted. About the best you can do is try and be open and friendly to all those you meet and hope the right guy picks up on it.