Re: Dating non bi people?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
newly_bi_guy
hi i just recently found out i was bi, like literally 3 days ago, dating was really confusing before all this and now with throwing a whole new gender into the mix everything just got that much more confusing, but long story short I'm very apprehensive asking a girl out. i been lying to everybody for so long including myself and i don't want to lie to people anymore and i don't know what to do, i mean do i tell these people I'm bi before we go on a date, do i hold off? i don't know, like i said i didn't know what to do before all this and now i really don't know what to do. please help!!!!!!!
Don't stress it. Just come out to whatever women or men you date either on the first date or on another date.
Re: Dating non bi people?
Pretty early on, so if they turn out to have a real problem with it you have not invested too much emotionally in the prospective relationship.
Ideally find a way to talk about it that makes it just slide into conversation rather than a "big reveal". So, that you went along to a Pride festival, or when talking about TV shows that there's some character you found helpful / related to, or the like.
Coming out to other people in your life helps with this being something you're more practised and relaxed at when it comes to talking about it with dates. And gives you people who you can call up for sympathy over the occasional biphobic response!
Re: Dating non bi people?
If you are lucky, you might find a bi gal to date.
Re: Dating non bi people?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Ebbtide
If you are lucky, you might find a bi gal to date.
thats what I'm praying for a freaky bi girl or guy that will allow other couples to come in and play :)
Re: Dating non bi people?
i didn't know how dating worked before all this and now throwing a whole new gender in the mix is just so over whelming... i never been with a guy, well my "straight" buddy did let me suck his dick after i found out not even a week ago and it was awesome. but how does this work, who's supposed to pay, do i ask them for my number or do i wait for them to ask me? I'm just so NOT confused anymore and its great but its so freaking overwhelming i got guys, girls & trannies hitting on me and I'm attracted to them ALL, i feel like a kid in a candy store, but its all so new to me and still really freaking me out it. I'm totally ok with the fact I'm bi but its all so new and so overwhelming and I'm SOO f*cking horny like all the time and now its like my sexual appetite just doubled and i want to f*ck everybody and everything i see. guy, girl, whatever it really don't matter as long as there is some kind of connection, i look for a real deep human connection with someone and it doesn't matter what gender they are to me love is love and love is good and it don't matter if its from a guy or girl, its literally ALL GOOD..... another problem i have is that i kind of fell in love with my best friend who happens to be straight and i know it only happened because i wasn't aware it was happening, but now that i know i can prevent it from happing again but the problem is its another loveless mess i got myself into and idk wtf to do cuz i really want him bad, he let me suck his dick but said he wasn't comfortable to do anything else, which is fine i totally get it i really do but it just sucks because i LOVE him, if i knew i was bi i could have prevented this but i didn't know and it just kind of happened and i don't know what to do man this sucks
Re: Dating non bi people?
Coming out to other people in your life helps with this being something you're more practised and relaxed at when it comes to talking about it with dates. And gives you people who you can call up for sympathy over the occasional biphobic response![/QUOTE]
yea well thank god i belong to AA (5 years sober) but i have lots of gay friends and there is a huge LGBT community down here in South Florida (LOTS of really cute girls, guys and a really cute tranny i met today) so I'm going to start going to meetings and hopefully i can find some other freaky bi people who want to get down with some group stuff :)
Re: Dating non bi people?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
newly_bi_guy
Coming out to other people in your life helps with this being something you're more practised and relaxed at when it comes to talking about it with dates. And gives you people who you can call up for sympathy over the occasional biphobic response!yea well thank god i belong to AA (5 years sober) but i have lots of gay friends and there is a huge LGBT community down here in South Florida (LOTS of really cute girls, guys and a really cute tranny i met today) so I'm going to start going to meetings and hopefully i can find some other freaky bi people who want to get down with some group stuff :)
We are not involved in AA or NA but friends of ours are. You are not supposed to have sex or use AA or NA, or sobriety meetings to pick people up to have sex with or have dating or relationships with them.
Re: Dating non bi people?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
pole_smoker
We are not involved in AA or NA but friends of ours are. You are not supposed to have sex or use AA or NA, or sobriety meetings to pick people up to have sex with or have dating or relationships with them.
yes thats very true, you are not supposed to hit on the new comer. people in early recovery under 1 year are totally off limits.. but i wasn't saying i was going to use AA to get sex, i meant i was going to go to LGBT AA meetings so i can meet other bi people that can direct me where to go to meet more people. i figure AA would be a good starting point to only "gather" useful resources needed to aid in this journey.. i just want to talk to other bi people who understand whats going on in my head right now and i been in AA for 5 years its ok to date other AA members, just not anyone under one year, that could negatively affect their recovery and thats why its off limits. most people i know met their significant other in AA so i can't say if the opportunity arises i wouldn't take it BUT they would have to have a min of 1 year recovery before i would even consider it
Re: Dating non bi people?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
pole_smoker
We are not involved in AA or NA but friends of ours are. You are not supposed to have sex or use AA or NA, or sobriety meetings to pick people up to have sex with or have dating or relationships with them.
I WOULD NEVER DO ANYTHING TO JEOPARDIZE SOMEONE ELSES RECOVERY AND/OR SOBRIETY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I TAKE MY AA VERY SERIOUSLY, IT SAVED MY LIFE...... I DONT PLAY GAMES WITH AA............OR SOMEONE ELSES RECOVERY....................
Re: Dating non bi people?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
newly_bi_guy
I WOULD NEVER DO ANYTHING TO JEOPARDIZE SOMEONE ELSES RECOVERY AND/OR SOBRIETY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I TAKE MY AA VERY SERIOUSLY, IT SAVED MY LIFE...... I DONT PLAY GAMES WITH AA............OR SOMEONE ELSES RECOVERY....................
Why the caps? You're not supposed to date or sleep with anyone in AA/NA meetings you go to, even the people who have had more than a year of being sober.
Have you tried going to an LGBT bar or dance club in your area? Or to an LGBT community center?
Re: Dating non bi people?
Where does it say in the big book that you can't date people in AA? it doesn't say that it doesn't even say not to date people who have under a year.. trust me anything over a year is more then ok, you have to remember i live in the recovery capitol of the world EVERYTHING here happens in or around AA.... No i don't drink, thats why i don't go to the bar and id rather not date anybody that drank hence the reason for trying to find someone else who is sober
Re: Dating non bi people?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
newly_bi_guy
Where does it say in the big book that you can't date people in AA? it doesn't say that it doesn't even say not to date people who have under a year.. trust me anything over a year is more then ok, you have to remember i live in the recovery capitol of the world EVERYTHING here happens in or around AA.... No i don't drink, thats why i don't go to the bar and id rather not date anybody that drank hence the reason for trying to find someone else who is sober
Go to any place that is not an AA or NA meeting to meet women, men, and even trannies than a meeting. There are any number of places and ways you can do this. Try Craigslist.
http://steponerehab.com/4-reasons-dont-date-aa/
Re: Dating non bi people?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
pole_smoker
yea but you're missing the point i live in south florida which is also known as the "recovery capitol of the world" 2/3rds of the population down here is in AA/NA and the other 1/3rd is in active addiction and i don't want no part of that so to say don't date anybody in AA at ALL is to say don't date ANYONE at all, because everyone in south florida is either in AA or NA or needs to be........
Re: Dating non bi people?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
pole_smoker
and honestly id rather date someone who is in AA at least trying to get their life together then someone outside the rooms that doesn't even know they need to get their life together but yea man seriously most people in south florida are in recovery or need to be and to say never date anyone in AA is to say never date anyone.... i know couples upon couples who are in long term loving relationships with people they met in AA, so do i go to my friends and say hey you guys need to break up cuz you both are in aa and can't be dating each other? i know many many people who have been married for 5, 10, 20+ years and guess where they met their partner in the rooms of AA, so who are you or anyone else for that matter to say it is wrong
Re: Dating non bi people?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
newly_bi_guy
and honestly id rather date someone who is in AA at least trying to get their life together then someone outside the rooms that doesn't even know they need to get their life together but yea man seriously most people in south florida are in recovery or need to be and to say never date anyone in AA is to say never date anyone.... i know couples upon couples who are in long term loving relationships with people they met in AA, so do i go to my friends and say hey you guys need to break up cuz you both are in aa and can't be dating each other? i know many many people who have been married for 5, 10, 20+ years and guess where they met their partner in the rooms of AA, so who are you or anyone else for that matter to say it is wrong
I didn't say that you shouldn't date someone who is a sober addict or alcoholic.
I did write how an AA, NA, or other self help group etc. is not there for you to go and meet sex partners, as there are 1,000s of ways and places to do this that do not involve the sleazy method of trolling self help groups for alcoholics and drug addicts who you find sexy and want to have sex with.
We know people who are sober addicts who married other addicted people. At first their relationship or marriage seemed to work but they all wound up in nasty divorces.
You seem way too involved in AA. For some people the cult of AA,NA and going to meetings are simply a substitute addiction or unhealthy obsession.
