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being somewht new into same gender sex.. i really still can't enjoy when sumbody pounds on my ass as becoz the pleasure vanishes due to pain.. somewhat i feel i dnt knw the good positions to receive anally.. so i want some help frm you guys abt positions that wnt cause pain
Well doggy style is the best in a physical sense, as you make a straighter passage (I think).
But I've found that with first timers (or those who haven't bottomed in a while) a position where you have body contact and can kiss is best for psychological reasons.
You on your back, and him entering you (missionary) is my favourite. That way it's not all about anal. You get your mind taken off that big hard scary rod a little.lol With him taking his time, and being right there with you face to face and on your lips and neck etc, it's a lot more relaxing (which is vital) and you feel more in control.;)
If you don't like the body contact etc, then just tell him to go easy! Just because your 'passive' doesn't mean your a mute sex toy.:tongue:
Oh yeh!! Don't be shy about asking for more lube!!!
One salient point regarding anal sex----there is never such a thing as too little amount of lubrication!!Quote:
Originally Posted by Gearbox
There are two things that can make anal painful. The streching of the anal ring and over penetration. If the pain is deep try a position that reduces the depth of pentration. If your hole is stinging from being over stretched, practice with toys, going to one of slightly larger diameter once you're comfortable with the one your using. Tapered toys are good for this too. And of coarse, a good lube will help that too.
Perhaps your partner's penis is too large in diameter, there are limits to what can go up the hole. I agree with Gearbox on being entered from behind, this is easiest for me, anyway, the anatomically correct dildo I have just slides in, and I can have it's whole length in me. Any sex position can be used for anal sex theoretically, whether or not your particular physiology is agreeable to a certain position is the question.
I think this varies from person to person. For me, things have to be lined up in the right angle to start and the guy must ALWAYS be patient. I have found that if I have the good fortune of being rimmed, I get so turned on by it that everything relaxes and I want a cock or toy in my ass very much. Usually once that is the case and has happened, it is easy entry. The last time a friend of mine and I got together, he rimmed me to the point that I had to have him inside me. What makes this interesting is that he and I have been getting together for many many years. In all those years, neither one of us had ever indulged in anal with each other. We had always taken care of each other orally. So it was quite the surprise when he dipped down from my balls and began licking and poking his tongue around my anus. I asked him to fuck me and that came as a surprise to him as he asked me if that's what I wanted to be sure. And I emphatically said, "YES!"....he entered me with complete ease and no pain whatsoever.
Now that isn't always the case and of course have had painful moments. But it seems to always happen when the guy is in a hurry and doesn't take the time to get me turned on.
Also I have limits. So if a guy is too thick, I just can't seem to handle it. I've tried to remedy this with certain toys that are quite thick, but after many years of trying, it hasn't changed. Though there are certain people who can indeed handle just about any size, there are some of us who can't. So my advice would be to not push it with certain guys unless you have practiced and found you can handle larger ones. I believe you will find what works for you in the long run. And if it's smaller or average sized ones accept that. You will find that whatever the size, once you've learned how to work with it and you have the willing partner who is patient, you will enjoy some of the most rewarding sex and orgasms imaginable. Hope this has helped.....
My boyfriend has a huge dick (needs magnums) and I'm the first guy he's bottomed for, so between us we've had to work on the making anal easier thing.
First of all LUBE LUBE LUBE is your friend. Don't be afraid to ask him to stop and add more, you said the pleasure vanishes during sex, that probably means it is time to add some more lube.
Make sure you are well prepared to take it, lots of guys who are newer to anal sex don't realize the importance of fingering to get ready for a penis. Lube inside and out, stick in one finger then two or three and play with the hole a bit. This helps you control how your body responds to getting something going in your anus. I also finger myself in the shower, when you're washing down there use a mild soap and slip a few fingers in, it will help make sure you're clean for sex and keep you looser.
Poppers may be something to try, I'm not a huge fan but they really do help because they relax your sphincter making it easier to have anal sex. I used them the first few times I bottomed with my boyfriend but now that we have sex regularly I don't need/want/use them.
Personally, I find doggy style is by far the most comfortable IF, AND ONLY IF, your partner is patient, gentle at first and willing to listen. You tell him when to push in and when to stop & wait, if he listens and you go at your pace I find this most comfortable.
When he bottoms my partner prefers that I lay on the bed and then he sits on my cock. He claims it is the most comfortable position, but I think he prefers it because he feels most in control which allows him to relax and take the cock more easily.
One big DON'T is desensitizing lubes or gels (like anal-eaze). This numb your ass which may sound like a good thing but because you're numb down there you can't tell as easily when tissue is tearing. It might not hurt when you're doing it, but after it will hurt A LOT because you likely didn't go as slow and gentle as your body wanted.
Also, sometimes I just try and remember that there are tons of guys who like getting fisted...if they can get a whole hand up their ass I can take a cock.
as a newbie to anal myself (my bi time was all manual and oral for years, now I have been monogamously married for a long time, but recently started playing with toys and my wife has used a feeldoe on me), I agree with all the above experience and wisdom...
Here is a bit more that might help..
Practice practice practice.. toys and fingers can really help teach you to control your sphincter.
When I started, getting a 1 3/4" dia butt plug in me comfortably seemed impossible, now it is easy and feels great. Some private time, or gentle shared time, can help teach you. Fingers give great feed back. Lube up a finger and slip it in. then intentionally tense and relax your muscles. You will quickly learn what tightens and what loosens. Pushing out loosens, pulling in tightens (or at least for most) that is not usually obvious at the start. Once you get the feeling, try some toys and pay attention to the control. In a short time it will get a lot easier (remember the fisting comment above).
try some larger things, more fingers then bigger toys.
For a while I needed to work up each time, now I can start with the plug right away and get it in easily and quickly and quite enjoyably.
We did cowboy, as mentioned above, the first time to give me the control, it made it even easier.
So, relax, learn to control your body and it will be awesome in no time..
It seems to me that the perfect combo for making the first time (mine was this past Friday) is me totally into having his cock buried in me and him knowing exactly what he was doing. It didn't come down to a gallon of lubricants, lol, man that sounds so fucking messy; but rather a willing ass and a good cock to fuck. Criminey, it felt so friggen good.:bigrin:
OMG.. the facts all you buddies have posted are just so new and exciting for me.. for sure am gonnna try your kind suggestions. thank you all...:)
i can give some input on this subject for sure. i am relatively stretched permanently i guess due to using so many toys and lost my virginity to a huge cock. i have learned over the years that you must use a lot of lube and keep it lubed during intercourse. lube seems to disappear quickly during a lot of in and out humping action. keep that lube handy and keep that cock lubed. i use the desentsitiver type lube that will help keep the pain down in the sphincter muscle which most people have the problem with. i have a lot of back pain so i have some super strength lidocaine which is used in the over the counter desensitiver lube so i use a bit of that and have no problem with the entrance of the head of the cock.
a small detail that most overlook that if you will make sure that you have emptied your bowels prior to intercourse. if i know i am going to have sex then i use a Magnesium Citrate which cleans out everything and there is nothing there to worry with.
i have also found that when the head of the cock is pressed against the anal cavity that if the receiver will push out just as you would if you were going to let your bowels move and then have the giver to push in at that point that the cock will glide in much easier then you can ease up on the pushing cause the cock will be in then. let the cock just rest inside about 2 inches and let the body get accustomed to the invader. the body will become more receptive if you will relax and then have the giver slowly push the cock in as far as comfortable for you. you will find that the feelings will be so great when that cock pushes to the prostate and starts massaging every time that cock penetrates when he humps and pushes in farther. you can adjust your stance or back, bowing or humping up, but you will find that the cock will feel better and better when you become relaxed and you will have no problem and will not be sore at all. the more practice you have the more you will enjoy and become so used to having a cock that you will become a great receiver. you will be able to accomodate just about any size cock with ease. just my experience has proven for me....
My last lover is 2" in diameter (that's 6" circumference) and 10" long. To be able to accommodate him I started using a tapered butt plug that was 2" at the widest part. Use a good jelly type of lube. Watery types of lube have a tendency to flow out of the rectum. And douche real well.
Some of the most intense orgasms that I've had happened when I was being fuck in the ass or just afterward.
With practice and patience you should have a great time.
plenty of lube. i like Gun Oil H2O, and no its not for firearms. Gun Oil is the brand name for the personnal lubricant. its available in 32oz size which is far less expensive than buying the small sizes. also its not a bad idea to do a thorough enima cleansing. when the the bowel is empty its easier to relax your butt.
Any suggestions on how to clean yourself out before anal? I get the more lube is better idea - just want it to be a clean event as well...
As Othercat Said: thorough enema cleansing. when the the bowel is empty its easier to relax your butt.
Absolutely correct. I also have a shower with multiple sprayers- one of the sprayers is a dildo sprayer attachment. Soap it up & Insert & spray. My gf luvs it also.
Lube, lube, lube-