any suggestions??? how do i get my wife into a MMF, not neccesarily tricking her, but tips on getting her in a MMF, so i can explore my bisexuality further... how did all of you tell your wife, etc., etc.
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any suggestions??? how do i get my wife into a MMF, not neccesarily tricking her, but tips on getting her in a MMF, so i can explore my bisexuality further... how did all of you tell your wife, etc., etc.
You know your wife best. Is she even remotely interested? If so, ask her how she feels about it and go from there.
she has said before we were married about getting hot over watching two women together, but not two men..
Tell her you had a dream about the two of you engaging in a 3-some with another man and how exciting it was.
If she's intrigued, she'll ask questions. For that reason, you must give careful thought to what you're going to say about watching her with another man and being watched as you and the man pleasure each other.
If she's disgusted by the very idea, tell her 'Well, it was just a dream and I have no control over them.'
Best of luck, fella. Do let us know how you make out!
thanks... may try that... and will let you know what happens
I'd suggest that bringing up the idea of a MMF at first might be a bit fast. Try to enliven her to homoeroticism first. Look at sex toys. Suggest that maybe you'd like to try a butt plug or a double dill or a strap-on. See how receptive she is to that, and see how much she likes it. Once that's pretty incorporated to the sexual repertoire, start talking about fantasies bring up that you like her fucking you (strap-on). Start to wonder what it would be like to get fucked by a guy.
Keys: Go slow. See if she'd be open to the mechanics of a MMF well before even suggesting it. Then once you're there, look into it.
I have the same sort of deal... I'm in a relationship with a man and want to explore my bisexuality by introducing another woman... he's not as receptive as stereotypes would lead one to believe, but he's open to the idea. Finding a woman that A)is bi, B)is interested in both of us, and C) both of us are interested in has been the hard part. I think the real test of his willingness will be when I find a specific woman and bring her to meet him, because as of right now I'm not sure he thinks of it as a real possibility.
I came out to my fiancee way back when we first started dating; as a matter of fact, he was the first person I told, ever. I had to assure him liberally that no, it did not mean I was going to cheat on him, with a chick or otherwise. He had a hard time trusting me there for awhile, but now he's accepted it.
As far as introducing the threesome idea, actually at first it wasn't even a threesome I suggested. I just told him I was sad that I'd never get to know that part of myself that wants to be with women, and for a long time he was like "What do you want me to do, just say you can have sex with someone else?!" My response was "No, of course not," and I think that was important because it showed I was still committed to him and didn't want to cheat. Eventually, he brought up the threesome idea by saying "Ok, I think there's a way I'd be ok with you being with a woman- if I join in." We've talked a few more times about it, but as I said we haven't found a woman that we want/wants us to try it out with yet.
Getting your wife into a MMF without her even knowing you are bi is like putting your cart before the horses. I realize it's not easy to admit to yourself sometimes let alone tell your spouse of your feelings towards the same sex but honestly, she has a right to know if you want to start playing around (and luckily your one that is not going to do it behind her back). Like others have said...you know your wife best and how she will take this new side of you. But even after she knows, does not mean that she will be willing to just jump into a 3some with you and another man. I found out about my husband a yr. ago this month. I caught him on this site and I was horribly, horribly hurt. It was a huge shock and I needed time to adjust and learn and understand, which is why I joined this site as myself and not as a couple w/him. As I said, it's been a yr. and yes, I do now watch bi porn and do get excited over it, but I am in no way ready to be in an actual 3some with my husband. I'm not ready and he knows I'm not and is not pushing at all.
Good luck to you!
i like the idea, which i introduced to her last night, about the toys and some movies.. and i think i will take it slow, like somebody suggested, and who knows.. maybe it'll open up her for some experimentation, both together of course... becasue i, for one, would love to see her with another woman...all of us having a good time
I brought home a DVD that had a few scenes of bi MFM, and we watched it in bed that night. I wasn't sure what sort of reaction I would get from her.
By the time, the second scene was going she was laying on her tummy, and rocking her hips in very small movements. After the third scene was going she had one of the wettest orgasms I can remember, and she hadn't touched herself!
After the flick was over, we lay talking about what we had seen, and what she enjoyed about it. She asked me if that was something that I would enjoy, and if I was interested in doing that and letting her watch. Well heck...A guy must do the right thing for his Lady!
I found a guy that seemed like the right one, and we invited him over for dinner, and play. I don't know which one of us had the most fun! She loved watching the sucking and fucking as much as I did!
We are now looking for another couple or single that would like to be friends and fuck buddies.
Hi,
I guess I have been wanting to respond to this thread for a while, yet did not what really to say. I have been thinking about it a lot though. I guess, more thatn anything you have to know what you want and what it will take to get your desires met. I do think that you must be realistic to know that there is a good chance that those desires will not be met if your wife is not able to share those activites with you. Speaking from experiance, I can tell you the best thing to do is to sit down and talk about it. How you came to these revelations, how long you have had them and where you want to go with them.
As Mrs. F said, unless she is aware, or has had some inkling of your bi side, this may all come to a great surprise for her. I think that you should expect the worst and that your actions are not with out ramifications. That being said, I do hope that your wife, life me realizes that this is part of you, part of the man she had fallen in love with, loves today and will love tomorrow. You are the same man and have not changed. Also, I think that there may be some women who feel threatened by the introduction of a man into a relationship with their husband feeling that they are the ones who will be left behind. Most often, if rarely is that the case.
I guess I knew that Bill needed to have this part of his life. It has made him a happier and more content person and loving. Our marriage has gotten stronger when I thought it was impossible to do so. And I, never ever thinking I would want get anything out of this, nor did I even NEEDED anything out of a relationship with Bill and another man. Imagine my surprise and delight when I got something. A new and better me- better wife, better mother, better friend, a better lover. That was the greatest gift I was given.
Do not mean to ramble, but if your wife ever wants to chat with another who has walked a mile in her shoes, I am most heartfully offering to listen and to share.
Belle
I have been trying to get my wife to do any kind of 3 or even 4some for some time now. We did a FFM once, and she felt VERY guilty after. The other F and I were not allowed contact with each other, but we could have contact with my wife & she could have contact with either of us.
Recently she indicated, in a roundabout way, that she may be interested in this type of thing again (with a mutual friend of ours)that is female. I told her that I would like to have involvement with both this time. She said that she couldn't stand the thought of me doing things with anyone else. I said that it wasn't fair to me to have limited involvement, and why is it ok for her to have contact with both? Her reply "because it doesn't bother you".
I have even encouraged to also have a MFM where we could all be involved equally, but she says she isn't interested, that I am enough for her.
I told her my philosophy is that I am secure enough in our marriage (15 years now) and will always love ONLY her and would never leave her or cheat on her, and I know that same goes for her towards me. So why shouldn't we broaden our horizons and explore??
I was talking to a friend of ours recently, and indicated to him that I'd love to try a 4some with him & his wife. He said he was willing, and thinks his wife might be encouraged enough to try it. We've known them for a long time, so we know we wouldn't have any disease issues and such......SO, again my dillemma is my wife.
I know I'm rambling, and possibly should've started my own post on this, but if anyone has any suggestions, I'd LOVE to hear them....
One word... BOOZE
I sure wouldn't recommend this unless it is possible to keep your wife drunk 24/7!!! People sober up and it isn't always with the result you are hoping for!Quote:
Originally Posted by wss30152
Did the booze thing with the first threesome.....
Was a disaster after....
Even when I'm drunk I've never had the problem of NOT knowing what was going on, but I now that everyone handles their alcohol differently.Quote:
Originally Posted by wss30152
If my husband got me so drunk that we had a 3some I would be so F****** pissed! :mad: :disgust: That is so disrespectful! And like biguymass said....it didn't turn out well so then what? What do you do when your spouse/partner has lost trust in you?? :(
Just to clarify...we were all 3 drunk at the time, but i did not get her drunk to make the threesome happen.
The disaster was that she was so drunk and felt guilty afterwards, that she was even more of a mess than if she were sober & felt guilty.
I'm not saying that anyone thinks I did that, but looking back on my post, it might seem that way.
I would never deceive my wife or anyone else that way.
I know that saying goes that men are dogs, but not all of us are ;)
Just my :2cents:
Quote:
Originally Posted by biguymass
No, I did not think that from reading your post. And YOU are not one to do that to your spouse but as you can see some might and do! That's what I don't like!
Mrs. F.
I agree that some would do that to their spouse. And I also agree that it is wrong to do it.
I have been lurking on this site for a while now and have only made a cpl of posts.
I realized that basically no one knows me or what kind of person I am, thus the reason I clarified myself.
I have read many posts of yours, and I will say that you seem like a very nice person, as well as MANY other people on this site. :)
Also while I'm at it...let me convey my most sincere condolonces to you & Flounder fir the things you've been going through.