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So for years, it was all guys want to be a totally top (meaning they get off and fuck anyone else), then it seemed the only ones interested in me basically wanted to just get me off and leave........................now, I seem to be getting guys that only want me to top them, weird how things go in cycles
Jazminedress, things are cyclical like anything else, the pendulum swings. About the time we get settled into a routine things start going the other direction. How boring would life be if we stayed static. It's one reason why I moved west. Like the saying goes, a change of playgrounds ... Be well and read on. Being retired military I am used to moving every 2-3 years. Retirement ment staying in one place forever. The prospects were not all that wonderful. A fat wife and 3 girl children under 10. Uh no thank you very much. Being a dad with no support from a spouse who had their own agenda need I say more. My Friday nights were spent with a local car club. I was accused of nefarious activities. So I took her along once. You should have heard that. "All you do is talk about cars" Brillisnt deduction coming from a college graduate. We divorced in 96. Lots more back story but not up to dominating the thread. Here I am almost 30 years later happily alone and 2000 miles away.
Now that's a conundrum Jazz. I guess different generations have different fantasies and i think internet porn might have something to do with it. Go figure.
Yes, the flow of things can get interesting, huh? I remember a time where a top wouldn't even dream of bottoming for anyone but now? They're bending over and grabbing their ankles and gleefully so - and this is probably some cyclic thing. I don't think that the different generations have fantasies that are all that different - but I do agree that the porn out there can get imaginations running off the reservation... but guys are still finding themselves thinking of dick; having "unexpected" dreams of sex with a man and, yes, as a cock-hungry bottom; some see the writing on the wall and find that it's time to dive into the pool while many more sit on the side looking for sharks.
I used to ask, "What happens when two tops try to get together?" and facetiously answer the question with this: "Nothing!" because the roles of top and bottom were being very clearly defined as to who did what to whom or who was going to be the girl in this arrangement because everyone knows that tops don't bottom and bottoms don't top. And then, shit started changing; I found myself talking to a top who wanted me to top him and I was thinking, "What kind of crazy shit is this?" and even suspected that homey wasn't for-real - but he was and for a guy who admitted to enjoy being a top, he appeared to have even more fun bottoming for me.
It made me change my POV to say - and realize - that if a top wants to bottom, there's nothing that says that he can't. My protege got surprised one night when his FWB bottom flipped him over and shoved his big dick in my boy's ass, fucked him, and creamed the shit out of him. He asked me, "What the hell happened?" and I just laughed because I've been trying to convey to him for years now that just because you say you're a top or a bottom doesn't mean that you won't flip the script on yourself; if you're a top, you could want and need to be topped and if a bottom, yeah, why not sling some dick on the top in bed with you?
It's not to say that there's some kind of "drift" to being versatile but you know what you need and I never advocate letting the role define you - you should define what being a top really means to you (or being a bottom) and with the understanding that you might want to - and can - step out of that role... because it's the sex you want and need.
Very good point, if I am with someone, I do have to let them know, what they see in a porno is not real life. Most of them are so coked out and numbed up they dont care about their own health and safety. I think the availability of free internet porn , and just the way people are right now, they believe what they see on the internet is how it's done. The good part, more availability of people, bad part, they are not always in the moment.Quote:
Originally Posted by DD788Snipe
It's like everyone is trying to live up to an image
I never really got the "top" and "bottom" thing even though I first had sex well before internet porn was a "thing". To me sex has always been about giving and receiving pleasure in all of the ways I could creatively come up with. There just seems to me to be a continuity of opportunity so why restrict myself?
In my mid 30''s I became comfortable with me being Bisexual. I was a Top. I would love to get Bj's and I'd screw my male partners...
Now I'm in my mid 50's and I LOVE to give Bj's, and now I want to be F'd in the ass....
I have a set of 3 Butt plugs that are progressively larger, and when I'm finished using them I feel soo centered....
My outlooks on A LOT of things have changed as I've gotten older, and I'm embracing it, and enjoying the Journey!
I don’t have tons of experience but I know what you mean, it seems years back I was always the one bending over for cock and I’ve made it known even back then I would do the fucking. Now it seems I come into contact with more bottoms or versatile guys than I did before. I do think internet porn with very passable transgender tops brings out the bottom in guys more than before.
Trying to live up to an image; perhaps caught up in their own fantasy world; very likely thinking and believing that what they see watching porn is the way it's supposed to be but that's not new at all - it's just highly visible today than it was in the past. Way back when I was in my 20s, I used to complain about guys wanting to have sex with me... and like they saw watching gay porn (and no Internet back then) and, no, son, that's not how it really goes - here, let me show you.
If guys are coked out and numb and being careless, well, that's not new either but gains a lot of visibility and as if it's said that you gotta be stoned out of your mind to have sex with a guy.
I don't know, but here is how i feel about the subject and i don't have a lot of experience but enough to know what i like.
When i hook up with a guy it's not because i want to feel how a woman feels when getting fucked. Im a dude 100% and as a dude i like how it feels getting fucked until they cum balls deep.
I like how my cock feels when im fucking another guy or cumming with their cock in my ass. I like mutual sucking to get both hard. Just swapping BJ's doesn't work for me and i will not even consider meeting a guy that only wants to give or get head. I will not meet up with anyone that just wants to suck me hard and bottom for me. I don't know why but that just does not do it for me.
I need mutual play, mutual sucking, I prefer to get fucked and if i have not cum from that then the guy needs to be willing to let me fuck them till i cum balls deep.
I need to know and feel they are enjoying the play time also be it another guy or girl.
I guess it comes down to mutual pleasure weather topping or bottoming for me. I like either but i need to know the other person is enjoying it also.
we all like what we likeQuote:
Originally Posted by ImBiVersatile
One of the biggest things I keep getting asked, and it has been around, but it seems like everyone now, is am I okay with poppers...............not really.
Maybe because of my weird fetish, someone new, I always have to start from the point of making sure I am not a target, and someone who is not 100% all there (Same with drunk guys), it puts me on alert so I dont have as much fun
I have to agree Jazminedress. A drugged / drunk partner has no clue what they're in for or what to expect. I've NEVER been that soaked that I didn't know who was on the recieveing end . I admit there were times when cum and go had rattled around in my mind. If I was interested enough to spent time in pursuit I was in for the night at least. It boils down to respect. Perhaps it was the way I was raised. I maintain a reputation. At my age that's all I can offer.
Liked: "we all like what we like".
It begs the question of whether or not tops flipping the script and wanting to bottom is a good thing or not... and if it's okay to partake in some hairs of the dog as long as it's not excessive? Look, back in the day, I'd smoke some weed, get high like a motherfucker, and get into having sex like it was no big deal... because it wasn't. Learned that I didn't like having sex with people who were drunk, felt a little hypocritical because I'd inhale a half an ounce just for a buzz and decided to practice what I was kinda/sorta preaching and, besides, I found that getting high wasn't fun anymore.
Are the two things related? I don't know but they don't seem to be but the getting stoned part does seem to be a part of the whole and not unlike the many guys I've had sex with who couldn't do it unless they were buzzed to stoned - but not to excess. I've always known that you don't have to cement yourself into the top/bottom roles; it's like I told my protege when we talked about this and he's going on and on about being top-only and how he would never want to be screwed by a guy - and wouldn't be.
I laughed at him and said, "One day, you're going to be throwing it down with a guy and, seemingly out of nowhere, you're going to feel the need to be fucked. My advice to you is to not resist it and just go with it and with the added benefit that you will get to understand what you put bottoms through when you fuck them."
A week later, he tells me that he got fucked... and hated to admit that he had wanted to be fucked. Today, he still goes on and on about being a top... but he bottoms a lot and I have told him that it's okay to bottom when he feels like it because there is no rule that says he can't. His FWB bottom has also stepped out of the role to lay the pipe to my protege and while the both of them feel it's out of character, I have assured both of them that it isn't and, again, you don't have to be stuck in what it means to be a top or a bottom.
Back in the day, some guys needed to hit the booze fairly hard to get rid of their inhibitions so they could have sex with a guy; today, it's drugs like X, coke, meth, etc. - and now things depend on your policy regarding sex with drug users...