I am not really bisexual. I don't really notice guys when out and about, only women. I am strongly attracted to women both mentally and physically. I watch plenty of porn, like most guys do I suppose, but it's always heterosexual porn as really that's the only thing that gets me going. My attraction to women is different than men, but quite strong. I am 35, brown hair and eyes, facial hair kept neat and close, 155lbs and skinny but in good shape and quite masculine.
And yet...
When I watch those porn videos I often find my imagination drifting from its usual "what if I were the guy?" to the tantalizing thought of "what if I were the girl?". Those kinds of thoughts started a long time ago and have grown stronger ever since. Perhaps I watched too much porn or perhaps I am just more open to experiences, tough to say exactly why but I am now very strongly attracted to the idea of a penis, what it can do, what it may do to me, and seeing/feeling its orgasm. I am also attracted to the feeling of being used, of being a tool no different from a masturbation aid, or perhaps even both of those while being treated like a girl. I have even worn women's underwear before, all in private and all very brief, just to sense that feeling for a moment. I am not feminine and I have no desire for that lifestyle, its just...sexual.
I have sought this out before, but never found anyone that truly makes me feel comfortable. Men would have too much experience, want more than the simple giving of pleasure I desired, or be in too much of a hurry. I am shy and nervous, with a strong desire to move at a snail's pace and enjoy every experience while leaving anticipation for what's next. I also peruse ads, but that often makes me feel worse as I see the bevy of bottoms offering their services freely like a 3rd world street market. What do I offer that they do not?
I honestly don't know, perhaps a slower, more deep and more involved experience. Something ongoing, comfortable, and based on trust and yet free to explore fantasies and push limits. Does this sound intriguing to you? If so, let's chat. Keep in mind, I am not looking for someone identical to myself as that really isn't compatible. I am more interested those with a desire for selfish pleasure and the ability to shape and mold another man to fit that need without a lot of experience under their belt.