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Bisexuality Confusing You?

  1. rouye
    My whole life I have been fluctuating between gay and straight. It was only in my senior year that I felt confident enough to come out to my close friends in high school. I even had my first girlfriend. And being in such a warm, welcoming environment, I was able to openly discuss my feelings with others who shared them.

    I found out that year that not only was I bisexual, but so were three of my friends who were previously calling themselves "straight," just like I was. One of these people was my girlfriend that year. And talking with them, I realized that I wasn't the only one who came to the conclusion of, "Well, since I like both, and I don't want to be the center of attention, I'll just focus on my straight-leaning side."

    I've been seeing some concerns here that my friends voiced back then. "Sometimes, I am totally into girls, and I think, 'maybe I'm a lesbian,' but then later, like even the next day even, I'll be all, 'That guy is so frickin hot!' It's kind of making me wonder, if I do get a boyfriend/girlfriend, will I remain into them all the time?"

    The fact of the matter is, no one is into their significant other all the time. Believe me, ask anyone who has had a boyfriend/girlfriend for longer than six months and they'll tell you the same thing. What is important is that you want to be with that person, regardless of what gender s/he is.

    I have learned, through research, discussions, and my own experience that these fluctuations are normal. To me, bisexuality is one of the most beautiful things, because it doubles the opportunity for love. As Alyssa from "Chasing Amy" puts it, "The way the world is - how seldom you meet that one person who gets you... it's so rare... And to cut oneself off from finding that person - to immediately half your options by eliminating the possibility of finding that one person within your own gender... that just seemed stupid. So I didn't."

    So just be reassured that it's OK to be confused about your sexuality and what to label yourself. Datebi studies shows that the majority of people are bisexual and you can get advice here.So try not to fret so much over labels. Feelings change, and it's completely normal. Just know that by not categorizing yourself, you're open to find love with anyone.
  2. DerrekCooke2
    DerrekCooke2
    I'm glad I read this post. Bisexuality is confusing me....
  3. Coastocoast
    Coastocoast
    The most difficult thing I have seen is the fact that some people can be attracted to both genders yet stay with a partner while others can't. In my case after time being with someone yes my eyes can drift but before I ever strayed from a relationship I would be honest and tell the person what was going on. If you know your need for two genders is such that you cannot stay faithful to a partner be honest and they will either move on or work with you. This knowing what to do about it can be even more difficult than coming to terms with being bisexual. Take care and good luck.
  4. cherrygrove
    cherrygrove
    I'm co-sexually. Did some swinging but never played with other guys. The last few years, I've been going to Cherry grove. What a cool place, and The Pines!, I hope this year opens new experiences for me. Gotta see, because I'm a little picky, but the gay guys I hung out with were pretty attractive. I guess we'll see. Come to cherry grove and let's play, naked beach too which is a big plus...
  5. Safebutcraving
    Safebutcraving
    I have limited experience. I went down on 2 different guys 10 or so years ago. Both experiences were positive but I always felt "held back". Lately, I am really attracted to men's dicks and have an overwhelming desire to suck them. I am open to exploring!
  6. sysper
    sysper
    thanks so much for sharing that, it helped me a little. i know i have a strong preference in general for the opposite sex but over the past few years i have learned to accept i am not 100% str8 & that's ok, in fact it's probably more normal than it seems to be lol. it's more important for me to find the right girl to be with but like u said, sometimes ur not into who ur with sexually & that's normal. as long as u have something higher that bonds u that's important. sometimes i just dream about that dream girl, other times i get excited by the thought of being with a guy. usually i'm just in the mood for 1 not both. i'm still trying to figure things out. i'm still wondering if i'm meant to do anything more than fantasize about guys. but i know the attraction is there & i don't think i would regret trying at least 1 time. i really hope the right girl is out there who would appreciate my openess to sexuality & other things.i'm so glad u had an accepting environment where u were encouraged to explore ur sexuality. i guess i'm looking for that too. good thing for the internet lol.
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