csrakate
Maybe Change isn't so bad after all......
by
, Mar 3, 2012 at 12:01 AM (5336 Views)
Change is on the front burner for those of us here at Bisexual.com as we navigate our way through a new, and, IMO, improved website. (Thanks Drew!) I am pleasantly surprised as to how quickly I adapted to the new format since I have never considered myself technically savvy. I was a computer novice and an internet virgin when I first arrived at Bisexual.com over five years ago. A lot has changed since that day when I first logged on and while I am excited about my new found comfort with the internet and all things computer related, I am mostly excited about the changes that have taken place with me personally.
When I joined Bisexual.com, I had a very happy marriage and a very full and satisfying sex life, but I had turned a blind eye to the fact that my husband was bisexual. He told me the night that he proposed to me and even though he had been monogamous with me, the very thought of it frightened me. I knew very little about bisexuality but I knew enough to be frightened of how it might affect me or my marriage. I needed to learn...I needed to understand....I needed to allow him to be able to talk to me about it and share it with me without him feeling guilty or me feeling afraid. I felt I owed it to him....I owed it to me...I owed it to US. After visiting a few other websites, I chose this one and I remember how nervous I was when I first clicked that button to enter the chat room. I had never been to a chat room of any kind at that point and I had no idea what would be awaiting me when that screen popped up. Would there be a sexual free for all going on? Would I be inundated with sexual advances from both men and women? Or even worse, would I be automatically shunned when they found out I was straight??? Instead of finding the aforementioned scenarios, I was greeted quite warmly and embraced and at that moment, my love affair with this site began. I began to find myself comfortable among the chatters and I realized that they were no different than anyone else that I had associated with in the past. I soon found myself making some wonderful friends and over the next several years, I spent a great deal of time with those friends in that chat room, probably too much time, but I loved every single minute of it. They never made me feel out of place....they never hesitated to explain things to me....and they never tried to change me. (although there was the running joke about the super secret Bisexual.com sexual conversion team that was going to take me aside and "bend" me.)
After a while, I was able to lose my fears of what was previously unknown to me and I slowly discovered that my world, as well as my own sexuality was opening up. I became a lot more adventurous in bed (much to my hubby's delight). I began to incorporate his fantasies into my own. Together, as a loving couple, we began to develop new fantasies, we experimented with toys, and eventually, at my suggestion, not his, we opened up our relationship. As a result, we have become closer as a couple. We play as a couple, something we both agreed on and feel more comfortable with. During this evolution of our relationship, I found myself becoming a bit more aware of my own sexuality and I was finally able to admit that I was bisexual as well...something that I had suspected, but suppressed, for many, many years. So to all my friends who may have noticed...YES...I have indeed changed my Kinsey score and NO...I have NOT had sex with a woman. BUT I can finally admit who I really am (it does make for some lovely fodder for some lovely fantasies.:tong:) I'm not saying it will never happen...but who knows? All I know is that I have this site and the people who come through it's portals to thank for accepting me and allowing me to be a part of it. I know we sometimes complain....I know we sometimes have fights, but all in all, it is a lovely community full of lovely people and I am all the better for having been a part of it.