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Masturbation for me is more than a few seconds of orgasmic ecstasy, it's a sacred and spiritual thing.

I became addicted to masturbation early in life, in fact the first time I watched a friend stroke his erect cock and ejaculate I knew my life had changed forever. And, the first time I experienced the extreme pleasure of my first orgasm and watched my semen squirting from the eye of my cock, I knew this was the ultimate pleasure; and it's a pleasure I've enjoyed almost daily for more than fifty years.

The need to masturbate can strike me at any time in any place. It begins with the first twitch of my cock when something stirs deep inside me. A fleeting thought maybe, seeing an attractive girl, watching some porn, or simply realising I have the privacy and time to give myself some pleasure.

Once the decision is made, I usually lie on my back and gently fondle myself until my cock begins to engorge with blood and becomes semi erect. I immerse myself into my arousal and I begin to feel the spongy softness of my penis give way to hardness and full erection. Once erect I embrace the texture and feel of its smooth pale pink skin and my large mushroom shaped head that stands proud of my shaft. When I'm fully erect the skin feels like silk and stretches tightly around my cock like the membrane on a drum. On the underside of my cock my veins bulge out quite visibly, and as I gently fondle, my arousal starts to build with the knowledge that I'll soon be immersed in a sea of sexual pleasure.

I gently squeeze my balls and slowly rub and stroke my cock until I get pre-cum oozing from the eye. I continue stimulation of my cock and balls and rub the pre-cum lightly around the glans of my cock head. I turn my attention to the underside of my cock, tickling my frenulum with a single finger in a circular motion. Occasionally I pick up a fresh supply of pre-cum for lubrication whilst enjoying the sensation of my hand brushing and cradling my balls.

I place my thumb on the upper side of my cock and three fingers on the underside. Lightly, ever so lightly, I begin a stroking motion by moving the loose skin on my shaft up and down with a steady rhythm. As my arousal continues to build more blood is forced into my cock and the head feels so tight it could explode. I keep my excitement building with light stroking and the blue veins start to stand out and wind their way around my shaft like a cylindrical roadmap.

Soon a very pleasant sensation spreads into my pelvic region and I feel my seminal fluid flow into my urethral bulb; it only takes a few seconds but the sensation is quite distinctive and is the first sign of an impending orgasm. I stop stroking for a second or two and cup my balls feeling the weight of them excites me further. The feeling is sensational and I wipe a huge bead of pre-cum from the eye of my penis with the index finger of my left hand; I then slip it into my mouth. I adore the mild saltiness of my pre-cum. I release my balls and return to stroking. The sexual tension within my body is palpable, and I have to fight to control the urge to speed up and finish myself off.

By this stage around three minutes have passed and the build up towards orgasm intensifies. I move my hand up the shaft so that my thumb is placed over the corona where the swollen head of my cock stands proud from my shaft. Momentarily I return to tickling my frenulum with a single finger using my pre-cum as lubricant. Then, with two fingers on the underside and thumb on top I increase the pressure on my cock and start stroking at a more constant pace. As the feeling of impending orgasm spreads throughout my groin I might fantasise about my cock being buried in some tight little pussy. My hand easily slides up and down my shaft now; just as it's done so many times before. Pre-cum flows out of my slit and using my index finger I smooth it around the glans making it shiny and spread it over my bulging head.

"God I'm getting closer now," I think to myself. I'll have to be careful not to take myself beyond the point of no return and ejaculate; I want this to last a while yet. More stroking and I really feel my body now on the verge of orgasm. The familiar sensation of early stages of orgasm engulfs my body like slipping into a deep bath of hot pleasure. Soon my breathing becomes deeper and in shorter gasps and I'm totally focused on the exquisite sensations.... "Oh God, this is bliss" I think to myself. Then it starts; the pure pleasure of the emission phase and impending orgasm begins.

I sense the tickling of the fluids moving towards my prostate. I feel my pelvic muscle (the so-called 'pee muscle') contract during the emission phase and I realise I'm almost there, ready to go. My head is swimming with euphoria as the orgasm begins and the intense pleasure seems to climb the shaft of my cock. I'm only a millisecond away from ejaculation, head spinning with pleasure.

"Stop... now!" I think to myself and remove my hand from my cock. I press down internally with my pelvic muscle to stop myself ejaculating. As I hold muscle tension, my orgasm hangs for a few seconds before it slowly starts to subside. I look down and see my erect cock pulsing vigorously with contractions that would normally be expelling my semen. I lie here for a few moments basking in the euphoria and heightened state of arousal as my cock slowly stops twitching. About thirty seconds have gone by and I'm still in what I'd describe as a semi orgasmic plateau but I'm in no danger of ejaculating now.

A wonderful sense of anticipation engulfs me as I take hold of my cock once more. Slowly I begin stroking again, totally focused on my feelings and sensations. With just a few strokes this time I again sense the movement of the seminal fluids in my body and enter the emission phase once again. My pelvic muscle begins to contract and my body begins its second orgasm. The sensation seems to be centred in the head of my cock like a pleasurable tickling and spreads into my groin and abdomen. "Oh yes... Here it is again... That feeling" I think to myself as my head swims with euphoria. My pleasure climbs quickly and just as I'm about to ejaculate again, I stop all stimulation once more. Timing is critical; one stroke too many and I'll take myself over the edge and ejaculate.

I repeat this process a dozen times or more before allowing myself the reward of climax and ejaculation. During the session I remain suspended in a heightened state of arousal and sexual tension. It's wonderful. During each emission phase, more and more fluid accumulates inside my prostate so that when I do ejaculate, the amount of semen can be enormous.

Stroking again now; "this time I'm going all the way", I desperately need release now, I feel the tension of my built up fluids seeking release. Then, for one last time, I feel my semen travelling from my prostate up the shaft. My free hand cradles my balls now as the pleasure takes off. "Nearly there. Oh yes.... And then...." I'm there, the world stops, time stops and all sensation is centred on my cock head. "Oh God I'm cumming. Oh yes. Mmmmmh. Oh yes. I'm cumming, I'M CUMMING, I'M CUMMING......." My breathing stops momentarily as my body tenses.

All sensation is based in my cock as it glistens with my oozing pre-cum. Sensation of touch is magnified to extreme proportions. I exhale and indescribable pleasure overcomes me as I ejaculate a small release of cum four inches or so onto my lower abdomen. But a quick flick of my wrist releases a second, more potent stream; this time a rope of cum shoots out and lands about eight inches up my belly. I raise my hips to aid the next release of cum. The sensation is fantastic as I watch my cock exploding and releasing its creamy white lava.

My breathing stops again and my next shot, the third, is the greatest. The explosive force spurts the load of this discharge the furthest. It has landed on my chest. Still stroking and with another contraction deep inside another huge rope of cum explodes out of the tiny slit in my cock flying through the air and landing on my tummy leaving a trail of cum. At this moment my cock is the centre of the universe. Masturbation is my nirvana.

Another spasm and another smaller burst of cum. My next squirt is much weaker and joins the pools of warm cum lying on my lower belly. My hand is still stroking up and down my shaft rolling over the ridge of my cock head. I guess fifteen seconds have passed but time seems to have stood still. Two or three more contractions as more semen seeps like lava from the head of a volcano.

Just as I think it's all over another seizure hits me; my body tenses and the world freezes for a second or two. The next spasm is smaller and cum oozes out this time and runs down my cock head and over my fingers and thumb. Down the shaft it streams and starts a large cum pool at the base of my shaft. Oh so incredible. Another emission and another; no power now just warm viscous lava flowing down my cock and adding to the pool of creamy cum. All contractions are gone, my orgasm is over and I'm left with a wonderful sensation of contentment and satisfaction washing over my body.

As I lie there recovering my senses, my erection begins to quickly subside and my cock lowers itself into the pool of cum at the base of my cock; almost as if by invitation. I look at the time and realise forty minutes have passed since I began, and it seems like ten.

I lie here in absolute peace and contentment occasionally stroking my soaking wet cock, massaging my semen over my stomach and chest and occasionally I'll pick up a large pool in my fingers and lick it off with my tongue or suck it off. Even though I'm not fussed on the taste of cum, the thought of feeling the silky smooth semen in my mouth is a fitting end to my session.

I just can't wait until tomorrow.

I recently met up with a gentleman via doublelist who was looking for what I?ve been looking for for a very long time
You see I?m older; mid 60s dad bod and married. I started ?experimenting? with like-minded guys when I was in my mid 40s. I started with giving blow jobs and moved on to kissing, fondling, and other pleasurable things 2 people can do together. The one thing I?d yearned for was to have someone take me anally

I actually finally har that experience 3 times in those 20 plus years, but it was either using a condom or in 1 case, with a guy who?d had prostate surgery so he couldn?t cum.

So now, with the person from doublelist, he?s into everything that I am and also loves to bareback! We did it for the 1st time a few weeks ago after a tentative 1st meeting at a local hardware store parking lot. He drove us around and we discussed what we were looking for and we agreeded to meet later, which we did

Our first time together was nothing short of spectacular! We kissed and made out and when the time came, we got into position and he entered me from behind. He pumped in and out of me and it felt great! When he came, he laid on my back and slowly came away and laid beside me. I told him how much I enjoyed him and as we were in a somewhat 69 position, I playfully kissed and licked and fingered his softening cock

We are determined to meet again, but since we are both married, scheduling is tricky. But I can wait

Morality has it place and uses and has served us well... and not so much. It serves to suppress our natural desires to have sex by mandating how we are allowed to have sex; who we can have it with; the conditions under which sex is allowable, i.e., only in a relationship and with fornication and homosexuality being moral sins, it served to keep us being about the business of... making babies which, at the time our morality came to be, made a lot of sense given the low life expectancy of humans in the early going.

Like, I knew why I'd better not get my sister pregnant - birth defects and some that could be unimaginably horrible but the loophole I and others found was that sure - you could fuck your sister as long as you took great care not to impregnate her and the other loophole that became pretty obvious: Boys can't get each other pregnant. And understanding how our morality mindfucked us into believing that homosexual sex - and homosexuals - were the great evil because, again, two guys can have sex like it's going out of style and... no babies.

And learning this and my first thought was, "It can't be that simple... can it?" when I was studying why people hated homosexuals so much and how we can believe something that I learned wasn't the whole truth of things. The sadness I sometimes feel to know that over thousands of years, we... haven't learned a damned thing. Those "what the fuck" moments I get seeing so many people making bisexuality into something other than what it literally is; I went to the doctor yesterday and on the form I had to fill out, they... wanted to know what my pronouns were.

For someone who is an OG bisexual from way back in the day, I often can't believe the insanity that I see on almost a daily basis but, this, too, is a learning experience for me but it continues to make me yearn for the good old days when being able to have sex with a guy was... pretty damned easy and not all that complicated. Growing up and being active in a time where... there were no boundaries for those who didn't want to be all caught up in the ones that did exist and, again, served to control us. At this point, I'm not talking about the real and true abusers; I'm not talking about the guys who used force to get their male friends to have sex with them, but these things are part of the reality that makes us behave like children who are afraid of the dark and imaginary monsters under their bed... because, in truth, there's nothing... pretty about the pursuit of sex and no matter how much we try to romanticize and sugar coat it but that reality also said that not everything was abusive; not everything was forced and not everyone was a victim and incest... isn't really all that bad of a thing as long as no babies are conceived and those involved got involved because they wanted to and not because they were forced to.

These are truths that I learned in the beginning and, again, they are truths that make a lot of people want to soil themselves because they believe in some stuff that isn't the whole truth when it comes to sex and sexuality and... what it means to be human and the sadness felt knowing that we continually and consistently fail to learn from history... and I'm the guy who has the nerve to put it all out there as I experienced and learned it by interacting with so many men and women from all walks of life.

This, all by itself, taught me a lot about sex and sexuality; I learned that while parents guarded against siblings having sex with each other, they couldn't really stop it from happening and it was happening all around me and I bore witness to a lot of this behavior that very much played into discovering that having sex with boys and girls was the thing to do and was better than just relying on one or the other.

While so many of my peers were afraid to have sex, well, I wasn't one of them. Getting into the teenaged years changed a lot of things for me but there were now plenty of guys who were just now being visited by puberty and it seemed to compel them to have sex with other guys and, well, I knew so much more than they did about it and didn't have any qualms about it.

I'll say that things didn't get "iffy" and complicated until the adult years; I was still very much active as a bisexual and the events of the times pretty much made sure that I was getting plenty of dick and, sometimes, thanks to the women who were now of a mind to not give it up without putting a high price on it - but being aware that women were all for getting some pussy on the side because, well, because.

A lot of social shit played into bisexuality in the 1970s and into the 1980s and there were guys who were curious about sex with men and those guys so desperate for sex that "breaking down" and having it with a dude was the only real recourse they had other than masturbating several times a day so for me, business was still very brisk and aided by now being in an open marriage that I didn't want to be in but I was determined to make the best of and reveling in having sex with both men and women openly even in the continued angst over homosexuality.

I tend to say that it's not so much what I did growing up but what I learned from it that made the biggest difference in my bisexuality and by the time I was a legal adult, I had a very good grip and picture of sex and sexuality although being "in the middle of things" was often met with derision - yeah, that being greedy nonsense and other such falsehoods uttered by people who didn't understand sex the way I learned to understand it and then having problems with sex that I... just didn't have. Being able to introduce so many grown men to the joys of getting some dick was fun but also taught me a great deal about... men and how easily we can justify doing something that morality says we should never do. Learning their fears and learning how to get them to set those fears aside so that they could experience, see, and learn the things I learned as a child who wound up being introduced to sex in some pretty interesting and fulfilling ways.

I never claim to be an expert in male bisexuality but... I know a lot about it; I made it my mission to know about it even if only to better understand how bisexuality plays such an important role in my life as a whole while getting to learn about other men and women who were either old hands at being bisexual or were only now finding out that there is such a thing as going both ways... and it can be very damned good, too.

I maintain that 80% of what I learned about sex and sexuality was learned before I was 16 and learning in ways that I knew would and could make a lot of people... shit themselves but that's because, again, they didn't understand sex the way I was learning to understand it... and enjoying it.

My emergence as a male bisexual in the mid 1960s was done in turbulent times that I believe influenced not only my sexual behavior but the behaviors of those around me; as an adult, I would come to understand that when there are hard and very stressful times, people want to have sex and while there wasn't a lot of stress on me except having to go to school, I and my peers were... products of our environment and having sex was just a favorite pastime for us and, yeah, if you were having sex with someone you knew you had no business having sex with, well, that made it more enjoyable and just like the fear of getting caught seemed to do for me and the rest of the cadre I grew up with.

And learning a lot about having sex and that despite all the rules, every- and anyone was fair game. I'm not kidding when I say that all a guy had to do was show me his dick and... I wanted it. Badly. And knowing that they knew that I wanted it really bad. While having sex with girls was, I'll say, the ultimate pleasure, sucking a guy's dick, swallowing his cum, and being fucked by him was a very close second and even better when we'd turn it around and now I'm the one being sucked and squeezing my dick into tight assholes and fucking until that pleasantly warm and good feeling would wash over me that would make me sigh or moan, take a deep breath, and keep right on fucking whoever I was fucking.

I thought that it didn't get any better than this and... I was wrong. Puberty paid me an early visit and... true ejaculation. Holy shit! Thought I was dying that first time but the girl I creamed was over the moon because I could shoot the baby-making stuff and from there, a lot of girls wanted me to shoot it in their pussies or their asses - but not so much in their mouth but that was okay because I had a lot of male friends who were jealous that I was shooting and they weren't - but they wanted my stuff in their mouth and ass and now... it really didn't get any better than this, well, not until I grew into adulthood and playing the "adult version" of the sex game.

Anyone. Almost anywhere. Any time. I think back about the adults I had sex with and... I understand it from them being drunk to being under stresses of the day that only adults were really aware of and including relationship strife and... I sucked a lot of adult dick and they were important in opening my ass up so that I could get more than the head of a dick in me and just the sheer nastiness and wrongness of it was a thrill to end all thrills.

And just when I didn't think things could get any better, I... learned about eating pussy and my older sister was very keen to find out why a boy shouldn't put his mouth on her down there and as a result of my father telling me to never do it and to this very day, I say he was wrong about that. Now I'm having sex with my brother and my sister and, sure, we knew we shouldn't and we knew that if we were to get caught, there would be more than hell to pay and... we didn't care all that much. It was fun and convenient to have sex with each other when we were stupidly horny and... we trusted each other more than the peers we were having sex with. I had concerns about filling my sister's pussy with cum and her waving it off and saying that as long as I didn't knock her up, there wasn't a problem and then told me to get to eating and fucking her and stop playing around.

In the beginning, the rush to have sex was powerful once I learned that you can do it with both boys and girls. I'd say that the "advantage" of becoming sexually active at a young age is that you don't tend to run into the inhibitions that adults eventually develop although, yeah, always the warnings about not having sex - and me being the kid I was, wondering why I'm being told not to do something that until it was mentioned, I had no idea what sex was... but a girl showed me first. Yeah, no idea what to do and all that but she showed me and fast learner over here.

Running around and trying to convince girls to let me do it to them was more fun than frustrating because a lot of girls wanted to but, yeah, had to play games with them like "House" and having to endue tea parties and mud pies but in the end, it was worth it to be able to slide my prick into their kitty cat and hump away until we both got tired.

Then... dick and the baby-making stuff - aka, cum - and it changed everything and opened my eyes in ways that I didn't understand... but I needed to because if something bothered me back in these early days, it was feeling like I was the only one who liked having sex both ways and, as an adult, kicking myself a little because I was so focused on this feeling that I totally missed that I was having sex with boys and girls who were also going both way but, as they say, you can't see the forest for the trees or I was too far on the inside to see the obvious.

The things I did as an adult pales in comparison to the things I did before I was a teenager - and I've done a lot of shit as an adult! The newness of sucking dick and being sucked; fucking girls and turning right around to be fucked by a boy or, yeah, someone older than I was and knowing that it was wrong and I should have been running away instead of running toward it but who knew that having sex could feel so damned good and be so much fun and, um, sometimes, profitable?

The guy did ask, "Did you feel bad about it?" and that was a question I could instantly answer: "No, not really, because he was a guy just like I was and guys do have sex with each other even if they're brothers. Plus I figured that if I was going to die and go to hell for having sex with other guys, my brother was just, again, another guy."

"I didn't know how he was having sex with other guys - I just knew he was since, sometimes, he'd come home reeking of sex and complaining about the other guys couldn't suck or fuck or acted like a little bitch to take the dick in the ass - and he would always tell me that he knew that he could come home and we could do it and get it done right," I said.

"And, as far as I know, I never failed to please him and he fucked me better than a lot of other guys did and could and, yeah, we hated each other but we also trusted each other when we had sex - it was so weird but had such meaning to me if not him."

I didn't tell the guy that we'd had sex a couple of days before he was murdered because (at the time) the pain of it was still a bit too fresh for me even though he'd been dead for five years. Instead, I asked him why he cut things off with his brother if they were going well and he said that he felt too guilty and refused to continue despite his twin's pleas. I told him that if he really care for his brother like that, what's it gonna hurt to reconnect sexually?

"What no one else knows, no one else knows," I had said with a shrug. I never found out if they did reconnect like this but, eh, his loss if they didn't because if you can't make love to and with your brother, who else knows you well enough to? And, if you don't mind, it never, ever matters...

The guy and I are both spent and sated... but he's still asking me about my brother and wondering how we could still have sex with each other despite having some major hate between us and... I didn't know how to answer him or put it into words that made sense. I did tell him what my brother had told me when I asked him this very question: "When I need some dick, you're still the best at giving it to me - but I still don't like you."

And I accepted it. I had long since reasoned that if this was the only way we could get along with each other, okay - I can live with it. I told the guy that I'd never turn him down when he came to me for sex - and he said that he wished that his brother had been like that and expressed regret that their time with each other was so short.