[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]Since we were both standing there naked from the waist down - and his dick was hard again - it was the perfect excuse for us to do it to each other. I knelt down and started sucking his dick and knowing that he was going to shoot his stuff in my mouth and thinking about the day he surprised me by doing just that and him proudly proclaiming, "Now you're not the only one who can shoot the stuff!" We sucked each other off, waited a couple of minutes, then fucked each other and it was so good and as usual. We got done and now it was clean-up time and I knew that I had to clean up the stuff we'd both shot and was puddled on the floor. He left and I wanted so badly to go outside with him but I couldn't... but that really meant that until my parents got home, I'd been taught a new thing I could do to occupy my alone time! As you might imagine, I spent a lot of time jerking off in between having sex with the neighborhood boys and girls. Ah, man, I'd be jerking off, my eyes totally fixed on what my hand and fingers were doing, making it feel so good and - pow - that breathless moment of pleasure to see and feel my prick twitching and lots of stuff coming out and getting all over the place and the bad part was having to find it all and clean it up and then hope that I didn't miss any of it and more so when, one day, my father took me to the side and started talking about something called a wet dream that would make me "do something" in my sleep... and I was able to figure out what that something was and I was very embarrassed and I think he knew I'd be because he told me that it was normal for a boy my age to have certain dreams that would make me do... something. Then he sternly told me to not do anything to make that happen and to stay away from girls and even told me about going blind and growing hair on the palms of my hand. It wasn't the first time he'd said that... but now I knew why and, believe it or not, when he said it, I actually looked at my hands and thought how silly what he said was because I wasn't blind and I couldn't see any hair on the palms of my hands. Silly adults... Now that I knew that I could make myself feel good and didn't need anyone else and could do it almost any time I wanted to, I was off and running with it without a care in the world, well, until one day my mom had came out of the bathroom and hollered, "Who's using up all of the toilet paper?" Uh-oh.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]It was, oh, maybe a week after I busted my first nut when the next guy to do so was banging on the door and practically yelling for me. I'd only recently had my stitches removed from where I'd been hit by a car a couple of weeks before so I was still stuck at home and not allowed outside so much. I went to the door and he almost knocked me over barging inside and asking if I was there by myself; I said that I was and asked him why and what was wrong. You would have think that he was on a sugar overload or something because he couldn't stand still and so excited. "You can shoot the stuff, right?" he asked and making me look at him funny because I knew that he knew that I was since three days after my first official nut, I had shot it both in his mouth and his butt. "Yeah, so?" I asked. "Watch this!" he said. We're standing in the living room of the apartment we lived in and he just pulls down his pants and underwear and I'm thinking, okay, he wants to do it and I've seen his ding-dong before. He's grinning like he just stole something and I'm confused and got more confused when he started pulling on his ding-dong with his fingers until it got hard. I'm switching between looking at his face and looking at him playing with himself which, actually, I didn't find to be all that unusual since, ah, I was sure that, like me, he was told to never do that... like any of us listened to that. Looking at his face, he started getting this dreamy look on his face; his eyes were closed, his mouth kinda open and, I dunno, he was playing with himself for about a minute or two before his eyes flew open; his body started shaking and he was playing with himself as fast as he could - then my own eyes bugged out when a big shot of the stuff flew out of the head of his dick! I hadn't been standing that close to him but it shot out so far that it landed on my calf and even more of it was coming out and landing on the floor. What the hell was this? I'm looking at his stuff on my leg and the puddle of it on the floor; then I look at him and, at first, he looked... sleepy but then he was right back to being highly excited and smiling so much that I really thought his face had to hurt. "Did you know you can shoot the stuff like that?" he ask, literally bouncing in place. "No!" I said and I was very intrigued. "Try it!" he said; I guess that he thought I wasn't moving fast enough for him because he yanked my shorts and underwear down, grabbed me by the wrist and put my hand on my dick and said, "Go on - play with yourself!" I knew that if I played with myself, my dick would get hard and, um, watching him play with himself had gotten me hard already but, okay, I started playing with myself. It felt good but it had always felt good... then it started to feel even more good and then it felt [B]really good[/B] and I had already learned that when it felt that good, I was going to... It was like a bomb went off inside my head and, as it happened, my eyes were open and I had been watching what I was doing to myself so I saw a big shot of my stuff fly out... and hit my friend in the face! I hadn't even been aware that he had knelt down to get a front row seat to watch me play with myself and make the stuff come out. Now we're both grinning like idiots and he told me that what we'd both just done was called jerking off. And just like the other things I learned about sex, I was instantly hooked on this jerking off thing I just found out about. He had said that this is what a guy could do when he wanted to do it but there wasn't any around to do it to or, really, anytime he wanted to as long as he didn't get caught doing it.[/SIZE][/FONT]
So you can read my previous about what my wife and I talked about. Throughout the rest of the morning, she was acting kinda weird and making some off-hand comments. At one point she went really dom on me and told me to only talk when I was asked to or spoken to, okay, kinda weird I thought. We had to take off to the pharmacy to pick up some stuff and I just came and asked why she was talking to me like that, her answer was since I was a bottom she thought I would kinda like being bossed around, not gonna lie I did kinda like it. This lead to a longer conversation where I basically spilled all the beans on what I would like to happen. Her biggest concern is that I may find that I enjoy the company of men more than her, I should also add she has some attachment issues from childhood she is not quite over. I explained that my bisexual motivations would not be anything that I would leave her over and that I truly believe that she and I are meant to be together. So all and all it was a very good conversation with a lot of things let out into the air. She still has no sex drive but will be talking to her medical team to get more information. We shall see where this goes from here.
So today my wife told me she does not want me making any references to sex or anything else of the sorts. Kinda a hard blow but there is a back story. A few years ago, my wife was diagnosed with a fairly severe degenerative joint condition plus she is already on a ton of other medications, needless to say, the mix of meds and pain really reduces her libido and her sex drive to the point where it's non-existent. Apparently, me bringing up any sex-related topics is really making her feel bad because she has no desire at all to have sex with me. So guess I will be here more often talking to other people about having sex, not a bad thing I guess.
[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]One guy asked me, "Should I warn you before I cum?" and I said, "Not if you don't want to; I want you to cum in my mouth and chances are I'm going to find out the same time you do that you gotta cum." I've actually had guys apologize for cumming in my mouth, something I can't help but to find funny; I mean, really why do you think I was sucking your dick besides proving to you that it isn't as bad as you think it is? Some guys, after getting sucked off, can't decide right away whether it was [I]that bad[/I] or that good; they actually find themselves having to think about it and I know that their mind is telling them one thing and their body is saying something very different... and now it's a matter of what part of them they're going to believe. And the part I had to learn to deal with but, to this very day, I don't like doing is watching them get overcome by guilt and understanding that they're feeling guilty and it's not just because they just did something they weren't supposed to do. I could explain that to them but it's easy for me to ask them, "Does it make any sense to feel guilty about something you wanted to do?" And while some guys admit that it doesn't make sense and get over that sense of feeling horribly guilty, yeah, sometimes I have to explain the refractory period of sex in men to them and knowing that it'll probably go right over their head. It just does me so much good to be able to allow a guy to find out that having another guy sucking his dick - and doing some sucking - really isn't as bad as it's thought to be and the certain fact that if you believe that it's going to be the most fucked up thing you've ever done, it's probably going to turn out that way because you've convinced yourself that it will be. And you don't really have to believe me and I don't expect guys to believe it... but there is one sure way to find out if doing some cock sucking is, in fact, going to be so bad and horrible: Do it. "Man up" and get a guy to suck your dick and get the cum out of your balls. Wanna know if it's bad to suck a dick and taste sperm? Don't take anyone else's word about that - go suck a dick and decide for yourself. You're either going to find that it's the best thing you've ever done... or it just won't be and if it isn't, the chances are very good that it's not because of what the other guy did. Have it in your mind that you'd not be good at sucking dick? Eh, don't worry about it because even the best of us can only do what we can do... and you're never going to know if you can be good at it or not if you never do it and, to that end, it's important to not let yourself get all fucked up in the head if the other guy doesn't like what you're trying to do - you just can't please everyone every time. It really isn't as bad as it's said and thought to be.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]Lots of questions interspersed with what I'll call dogmatic opinions based upon what I know is basically a lie and things get to a point where the only way to... settle things and put them into perspective once and for all is to stop talking about it... and do it; there's only so much I can put into words so now it becomes a kind of "shit or get off the pot" moment and one of two things is going to happen: He's either going to want to get sucked off... or he's not. I can be... calm about it because it doesn't matter to me one way or the other and more so since from the moment the conversation started, I've already made up my mind what I'm going to do... or not and all depending on how the conversation goes. I'm not going to pass up an opportunity to give a guy a blow job but if I have a reason not to, nothing he's going to say is going to change my mind about that but, sure, you get a chance to get me to change my mind... and it's not as if I've never changed my mind one way or the other. But this is not about me; I know what it's like to suck dick and have guys sucking me and there's really not too much I don't know about it but, again, this ain't about me... This is ultimately about him finding out for himself whether getting a blow job from a guy is or isn't as bad as he thought and believes it to be. I'm not one to brag because it makes little sense to me but in every instance I've ever given a guy his first male blow job, not many of them have said that, yep - it was as bad as they thought it would be and that's never bothered me because I know in those very rare cases, I'm not the reason why they found it not to their liking: It's because their very firm beliefs about this didn't allow them to find out that, duh, getting sucked off just feels really good. I know that what makes it bad for them is they're thinking about a guy doing it and not even thinking about the obvious thing: They got their dick sucked and they came. I know that some guys believe to be bad because, through no fault of my own, they couldn't cum... and I know why they couldn't and I'll even explain it to them. I've given, oh, lord, maybe a hundred or more guys their first male blow job... and only five of them found it not to their liking for some reason or another... and of the five of them? Three of them wanted to do it again to see if it could be to their liking. The other two? It fucked with them big time to admit that, yeah, okay, it wasn't [B]that[/B] bad but it was something that they just couldn't get into. It's that rare and curious thing where I can suck a guy's dick, get him to explode into my mouth... and he didn't enjoy it... but, again, I know why he didn't. And, all after the fact, when the guy is sitting there and telling me that it wasn't as bad as he thought it would be, I learned not to look at him and say, "I told you so!" Well, okay - sometimes I do. It has always amazed me how a guy can go from, "I'd never do some shit like that!" to doing it and now they can't wait to do it again, either as a second time or I'll see them again and soon. And those guys who say that, okay, you can suck me off but I ain't sucking your dick? Some don't - they just can't and I understand that... but I get that "told you so" thought in my head when they just give into the moment and take my dick into their mouth. I get sober and solemn and very honest with them when they've told me or asked me if they can suck my dick but not to cum in their mouth and I give them my most solemn promise that I will warn them in enough time to move away before I cum and I have never failed to give that warning. Some get the warning and move away... and many have not. I've given the warning and have wondered what it is that makes them hear it and keep right on sucking me and even when I'm right at the point of no return and sometimes "yelling" that I'm gonna cum - and they don't move away or stop. They're now either going to "acquire" the taste or they aren't and quite a few guys, after getting their first taste of sperm, have said that that, too, isn't a bad as they thought it would be or it's just something to get used to.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[SIZE=3][FONT=verdana]Sometimes it's just information only and I've shocked a lot of guys, not because I know so much about this but why I do - and it's not just because I happen to be a really smart and knowledgeable kind of guy. I've had to learn not to roll my eyes when an information-only conversation now turns to them wanting to find out why I've been having sex with men right along with women. Again, some are able - even grudgingly - to accept what I say about myself as the truth... and sometimes, some guys require proof and not really because they need any such proof but the conversation has gotten them interested or curious or, usually, rather horny... and I just told them that I'm a cock sucker.[/FONT] [FONT=verdana]Not hard to figure out what happens next and I have always gotten a kick out of watching them think about whether they want to find out what it's really like or it's going to remain something they will have no part of... and it's not hard to figure out which thing will win that self-induced argument. Then assurances are needed and mainly that no one ever finds out that they were even thinking about doing this. The next and kind of common assurance is if I suck their dick, does it mean they have to suck mine? Well, no... unless you want to and I'll even tell them to not be surprised if they find out, while I'm sucking them, that they want to suck me. In this, what I know - and what they don't - is that there haven't been too many times where I've been in this situation, a guy has agreed to let me suck him off and has said that the favor will not be returned... and it happens.[/FONT] [FONT=verdana]Then they have another, "It wasn't as bad as I thought it was!" moment and that includes impressions on what it's like to have sperm in your mouth. Such conversations are kinda one-sided because I obviously already know that guys sucking dick isn't as bad as anyone thinks it is or as it's been reported to be; now it becomes a matter of whether or not they're gonna want to find out for themselves and, yes, sometimes they don't...[/FONT] [FONT=verdana]And most of the time, they do and for no other reason than getting their dick sucked right about now would be rather nice. I sit and notice guys trying to be cool and unaffected by the topic of discussion and while their demeanor and words strive to be neutral, their body tends to rat them out and there have been too many times when I've sat and listened to a guy tell me how fucked up it is for guys to suck dick... but their own dick is noticeably hard. Or I've noticed a change in their breathing or I'm able to see their pupils dilated or they've gone from sitting stock-still to fidgeting in place. Their minds might be out to lunch about it... but their bodies are saying something very different and it's often funny to me to see that they're aware of how their body is reacting and they're wondering if I've noticed it or not... and I'm not beyond just sitting there and acting like I'm not aware of it.[/FONT][/SIZE]
[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]One of the things that has always delighted, amazed, and tends to make me laugh is when a guy who has been totally against men having sex with other men finding out that, holy shit - it really isn't as bad as they thought or was told it would be. It would - and still does - make me get "that look" on my face to hear a guy ranting and raving against this but then, for some reason, wanting to find out what the big deal is about it despite their stance that they'd never do some shit like that. I've seen their both their fear and excitement; I've sat and listened to the tired and old arguments about why men should never have sex with each other and how it ain't right... but here they are, talking to me about something that they keep insisting they don't believe in while expressing a curiosity about what it's like. For some, explaining it to them just works but for many, well, it's just easier to show you what the big deal is about getting sucked off by a guy. I've seen the conflict taking place in their mind where, on the one side of things, yup - getting sucked off is pretty damned nice but, on the other side, guys aren't supposed to do that even though there aren't that many people who don't know how gay men have sex. I can sit with a guy and tell him in some pretty good detail what it's like to have a guy suck his dick and be pretty blunt and frank when explaining that the only real difference between a woman doing it and a guy doing it is... who's doing it. Techniques vary from person to person but the end result is the same: Your dick gets sucked and you cum and what they do with it is up to them. I've sat and watched our built-in fear of the unknown just fuck with a guy and, sometimes, it's hard for me not to start laughing to see him battling with himself because what he believes doesn't match the reality of things and even more so when prior to having this conversation with me, he would have sworn on any holy item you put in his hand that there is no reason in the whole wide world to let a guy give him a blow job... Yet, here they are, talking to me about that which they said they had no interest in. Hmm.[/SIZE][/FONT]
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