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fredtyg
Jun 23, 2010, 2:15 PM
Kind of a silly question, it seems to me a lot of the time, but I know some guys don't.

I actually like guys that, if not actually effeminate, have the more "softer"- less masculine- looks and personality. Of course, being a Viagra guy, I'd also like the queen to be good with his weenie, too.

So, show of hands: How many of you guys like other guys that are stereotypical queer looking and acting (I've raised my hand)?

tenni
Jun 23, 2010, 2:30 PM
Absolutely not.

If I want a more feminine person, I will be with a woman.
I don't mind a little aggression in bed from a woman and I prefer a little softer side at times from a man in bed though. However, generally physical appearance and mannerisms that are extreme or visibly traditionally feminine from a man are a big turn off. Some aspects that were once seen as feminine though do change over time (ie. length of hair on a man has become less significant)

csreef
Jun 23, 2010, 2:34 PM
No I do not .

I'm a real man & I don't want want to be with someone who acts like a woman. Yeech..

Wasn't this a post last summer???

PrettyFlowingGown
Jun 23, 2010, 6:46 PM
Each to their own, but I prefer efeminine men. I find them more compassionate, but by sayng this i usually have sex with other cd's or cd admirers. I love foreplay more than anything else, alot of touching and kissing.

fredtyg
Jun 23, 2010, 7:08 PM
No I do not like flaming queens or men who act feminine or camp.
I'm not attracted to "men" who dress up as women and take on a woman's name, drag queens, and even the guys who like to put on their wife or girlfriend's panties are a turn off.


I'm not sure I'm all that attracted to cross dressers and such but I don't have anything against them.

I'm talking about guys who seem effeminate but can't really help it. I'm trying to think of some examples but none come to mind. Just a fetish of mine, I suppose, in that I wouldn't mind going out with some twinky effeminate guy instead of a girl and take him home with me for a roll in the hay.

NakedInSeattle
Jun 23, 2010, 8:21 PM
It depends on what for. For a friend, I'd prefer not to have an affeminate man. For sex, what does it matter?

jem_is_bi
Jun 23, 2010, 11:03 PM
I am mostly gay.
But, I am definitely NOT femine.
Further, I am only attracted to masculine guys for sex (excluding heterosexual males :eek:).
I have had effeminate friends. But, I was never atracted to them sexually.

I NEED and I HAVE a sexy ALL MALE male that keeps me so very satisfied.

Biboz49
Jun 23, 2010, 11:20 PM
Guess I'm the odd one. I like fem guys. I like the look of a slim fem guy. Oddly I don't like fem guys that are real over the top flamers. And I like transexuals too. Masculine types don't do it for me visually or mentally. I'm not into muscle, thats a turn off for me.

Long Duck Dong
Jun 23, 2010, 11:33 PM
I'm not sure I'm all that attracted to cross dressers and such but I don't have anything against them.

I'm talking about guys who seem effeminate but can't really help it. I'm trying to think of some examples but none come to mind. Just a fetish of mine, I suppose, in that I wouldn't mind going out with some twinky effeminate guy instead of a girl and take him home with me for a roll in the hay.

I have a friend that is *soft *... hes a tall guy and solid, but with a very gentle mannerism and a bit of a speech impediment...... and gay....
hes not a queen, or overly flamboyant, but definately a top and very good at it.... a lot better than some of the *manly *men that I know that are tops

I quess its cos he has the gentle caring nature and makes love, not just having sex

tenni
Jun 24, 2010, 12:02 AM
LDD
Are you sexually attracted to effeminate guys? (like them sexually) That is the question.




I have a friend that is *soft *... hes a tall guy and solid, but with a very gentle mannerism and a bit of a speech impediment...... and gay....
hes not a queen, or overly flamboyant, but definately a top and very good at it.... a lot better than some of the *manly *men that I know that are tops

I quess its cos he has the gentle caring nature and makes love, not just having sex

Long Duck Dong
Jun 24, 2010, 12:07 AM
LDD
Are you sexually attracted to effeminate guys? That is the question.

it says * do you like effeminate guys *...... not do you wanna go to bed with effeminate guys.....

I was talking in a non sexual aspect about a very good friend of mine that is effeminate and his postive qualities that I do not find in masculine men....

tenni
Jun 24, 2010, 12:28 AM
tsk tsk...read more of th OP & other guy's postings...you are missing da boat...


Regardless specify your sexual attraction to effeminate guys? Come on tell us...ah come on...DD's not looking.........lol

Long Duck Dong
Jun 24, 2010, 12:34 AM
tsk tsk...read more of th OP & other guy's postings...you are missing da boat...


Regardless specify your sexual attraction to effeminate guys? Come on tell us...ah come on...DD's not looking.........lol

I was answering the OP post and I saw nothing about sexual attraction there....
besides I am pansexual, I have no real sexual attraction definitions, I am drawn to personalities not body types.....

to me, a body is something we are all born with, but a nice personality is not found in everybody

tenni
Jun 24, 2010, 12:36 AM
LDD
well there ya go.

You told us. Now, that didn't hurt too much did it?:bigrin:

Long Duck Dong
Jun 24, 2010, 1:13 AM
its like pulling teeth..... I make a positive statement about a friend and get grilled over my sexual perference.....

Hoselvr
Jun 24, 2010, 1:15 AM
For me, being bisexual means there is the possibility I can be attracted to anyone no matter the gender or degree of masculinity or femininity. It all depends on the person. So the answer is yes, I do.

nakedheathen
Jun 24, 2010, 1:15 AM
This may not be PC but I find myself more attracted to guys like me, muscular and masculine then so called twinks. I dont want a drama queen or a flamer, skinny guys are great. I guess it is more about the personality than the body type. Dont like fatties and bears though. There has to be something there physically.

Long Duck Dong
Jun 24, 2010, 1:26 AM
Are you sexually attracted to him or femme men like him, or not?

I have already stated I am pansexual and attracted to personality..... I do not see in terms of twinks, bears or what ever terms people want to use....
last i knew, sexual attraction and attraction to personality are two different things......

Long Duck Dong
Jun 24, 2010, 1:55 AM
I don't buy that you are only solely attracted to personality only.

We all have our preferences and likes and dislikes when it comes to attraction and they are all unique and sexual attraction even if it is based on someone's personality or other aspects on them will come out in other ways such as how they look or what body type or types you are attracted to and ones that you are simply not attracted to at all.

Stop dancing around the question with circular logic and not actually answering the question.

Yeah it's nice that you're friends with him. Did he ever turn you on or did you ever want to or get fucked gently and tenderly by him?..


yeah and I have a mental illness, I have a limited emotional range, and sexual attraction by specifics is not something I possess......
hence I am pansexual...... a trans, a bear male, a flaming queen, a eunuch, a super model female etc..... there is no difference in attraction to them..... hence its a persons personality that draws my attention.....

even my partner can tell you that I am not turned on by porn, but by the smile, the eyes, the way a person appears on the scene..... and a nude male or female doesn't get a reaction out of me.....

Long Duck Dong
Jun 24, 2010, 2:30 AM
So what does turn you on then? Just your partner?

I know some people who were turned on by various other people but then once they got married to someone they were only turned on by that person and not by others anymore is it like that for you?

What mental illness do you have? Is it clinical depression? Asperger's or something like that?

You said how this guy is not effeminate or a screaming queen so why did you even reply to the topic or write about him at all if he's not effeminate?

what turns me on??? actually nothing.... i am a person that lacks a sex drive.... I can have sex and perform, but I lack a sex drive....

my partner chooses to share my life with me, and if she didn't. I would happily remind single and sexless...... as it has no adverse effects on my state of mind.....

as for the mental illness, I was born with dysthimia and a underlaying issue that ( in new zealand ) has never been isolated or diagnosed....

I posted about my friend as hes not a queen or anything like that.... he is a soft natured person.... he is a top and good at it, 6 ft and solid, yet a gentle guy.... and could be mistaken as a effeminate bottom....
and I decided to show that not all of us need the masculine male types in our lives or beds.... some of us are content with the effeminates in our lives.... and beds

Long Duck Dong
Jun 24, 2010, 3:43 AM
What's the other underlying issue that's never been recognized or diagnosed in NZ?

Are you asexual? You wrote about how you can perform sexually but how nothing actually turns you on at all. Do you have sex fantasies at all? If/when you masturbate do you fantasize about sex at all?

So if he's not feminine why post about him? He does not fit the category of being effeminate at all which is what this topic and all of the posts in it are about.

i use the term soft.... hes not a beer gulping sports watching, cigar smoking guy..... and not is he a florist that dresses in pink and speaks with a lisp.....

he speaks in the manner of a feminine gay male, but its natural....

I can have sex easily..... but I have no sexual attractions.... sexual attraction and sex drive and sexual performance are different things
sexual attraction is who you would like to fuck
sex drive is how much you feel the need to fuck
sexual performance is can you get it up to fuck

I lack the chemical triggers in the brain which signal a sexual attraction to various stimuli...... but as my partner knows, i can * turn on * my cock at will.... and since i do not feel the need to fuck until I cum, I can go for hours in a single session, or multi sessions without cumming..... but when i do cum.... well my partner got a new hair style and she was kissing me at the time....

as for fantasying about sex... no... sex means nothing to me.... so i focus on what the person would be feeling, the touch and sensation of lips on skin, the feeling of being hold.... the idea that others may be watching etc....

Long Duck Dong
Jun 24, 2010, 3:54 AM
So you are what would be called asexual then?

Is that the underlying issue that's never been recognized or diagnosed in your country?

Just because a guy lisp or has a speech impediment or talks like a stereotypical gay man, that does not make him effeminate. The guy you're writing about isn't a queen or effeminate at all.

no, cos if it was, it would have been diagnosed....

his whole mannerism is soft.... but he doesn't do the whole queen / prancing / walk like theres a carrot up his ass / drama queen behievour..... hes just a soft, gentle gay male....

Long Duck Dong
Jun 24, 2010, 4:32 AM
I am not asexual.... that is the ruling of a psychologist, american trained, not nz trained and that was after a number of sessions......

asexuals have no sexual interest.... I am pansexual, i can go with any sexuality or gender and have done.... I can top and bottom or play the middle...and as my partner has said in a few threads... i am dammed good in the bedroom
that is not the traits of a asexual.... asexuals generally will not do anything in the bedroom

and thats cos he is not a queen, he doesn;t put on airs or overdo his actions and talking.... his feminine mannerism is natural..... he is clearly not masculine in mannerism, but nor is he flamboyantly gay or a show queen.....

Long Duck Dong
Jun 24, 2010, 7:10 AM
Just because you can have sex with any sexuality or gender it does not mean that you are actually sexually attracted to them or really pansexual.

You wrote about how sex means nothing to you, you don't have an interest in sex, and how you have no sexual attractions at all to anyone.

Asexuality (also known as nonsexuality), in its broadest sense, is the lack of sexual attraction (i.e., a lack of a sexual orientation) or the lack of interest and desire for sex. One commonly cited study placed the incidence rate of asexuality at 1%.

Asexuality is distinct from abstention from sexual activity and from celibacy, which are behavioral and the latter is usually for a religious reason. A sexual orientation, unlike a behavior, is definitionally "enduring". Some asexuals do have sex.

Don't be too prideful about being "damned good" in the bedroom.

You can't even enjoy sex or have sexual attraction to anyone. Sounds like a curse for you and your girlfriend. Not everyone wants to be a human dildo.

as long as my partner is happy and satisfied... I am happy to be a human dildo..... even a monogamous one....

I have always said i am not controlled by my dick..... but nor am I swayed by my emotions or known for making emotional decisions.....

I will remain a psych and neuro science enigma for the rest of my life...I know that..... but... beats being just one of the crowd, like you are trying to class me as.... and if trained professionals label me as pansexual, not asexual... well they are in a prime position to know.... they have spent many hours talking with me....not reading posts in a forum

Long Duck Dong
Jun 24, 2010, 7:40 AM
ok so tell me, if I have had sex with trans, heteros, gays, bis and intersex, males and females...... and I am not bi or pansexual.... what am I.... and do not try the asexual bit as even asexuals have a sexuality

and read my past threads, my ex cheated on me a number of times in 7 years... and I stayed by her side..... as i can, I am not influenced by emotions the same as i lack a sex drive and sexual attractions, but I do not lack a sexuality

Long Duck Dong
Jun 24, 2010, 8:01 AM
You've said how you don't have any sexual attraction to anyone despite being able to perform sexually and get hard and ejaculate, and you don't have any desire for sex at all. This makes you asexual even if you want to deny it.

Just because you are asexual that doesn't mean that you somehow can't have sex or that you can't perform sexually if you really want to like you have and do, you're just not sexually attracted to anyone at all even your girlfriend and whoever else you've ever had sex with there's never been a sexual attraction there for them.

not sexually attracted, it doesn't mean that I am not attracted to people

asexuals have a sexuality.... any asexual can tell you that.... asexual means the lack of a sex drive....
there is hetero asexuals, bi asexuals, gay asexuals and pan asexuals.....

hetero, gay. les and bi are the types of attraction to genders.... unless you are trying to say that asexuals that are in relationships with males for example, are not gay cos they are not sexually attracted to males, even if they have NO attraction at all to females....

I would suggest you check this site out Asexulity (http://www.asexuality.org/home/)
specially this part
Attraction
Many asexual people experience attraction, but we feel no need to act out that attraction sexually. Instead we feel a desire to get to know someone, to get close to them in whatever way works best for us. Asexual people who experience attraction will often be attracted to a particular gender, and will identify as lesbian, gay, bi, or straight.

JonnySW1
Jun 24, 2010, 4:19 PM
Long Dong Ducky Fuck and Summertime Bleating, you two flamers are boring the fuck out me...

void()
Jun 24, 2010, 8:25 PM
I'll borrow a little; "It all depends on the person." I'm not normally attracted to 'flaming queens', but again it depends on the person. Might enjoy it, might not. Not ruling it out completely, nor ruling it in completely.

69luvr
Jun 25, 2010, 4:43 PM
I love being with a fem. guy. I love when guys love to CD. I love everything about sex with guys and girls.:bipride:

IndyBiFun
Jun 25, 2010, 6:56 PM
A resounding absolutely..............YES!

I find guys with a nice fem streak are very hot. I'm not into the macho, loud, "look at me" kind of guys.

Guys with a little fem are a little quieter, better listeners, better in foreplay and better under the sheets.

Just my humble opinion.

jem_is_bi
Jun 25, 2010, 11:50 PM
Long Dong Ducky Fuck and Summertime Bleating, you two flamers are boring the fuck out me...

Absolutely, Boring bull shit!!

RandiRaven
Jun 26, 2010, 12:14 AM
yes i do sometimes very much. it depends on theguy and how sexy he is.

citystyleguy
Jun 26, 2010, 1:44 AM
in a relationship, not my preference; but in my general group of friends, we have some variations of what is often described as effeminate, and our differences enhance the whole.

in a realtionship, it bears repeating, i like my men as men, and my women as women, in particular, strong, focused, well-maintained, (see my profile!)

NYFiddler
Jun 26, 2010, 5:05 PM
I can be attracted to a male that has some feminine qualities.
I'm very masculine in appearance but have a feminine side.
I have tattoos, long hair down to my ass and a very blue collar, construction worker, biker appearance. I often wear my long hair in a French Braid which could considered a effeminate trait that only a female would wear.
I've only ever had 1 drunk homophobic say any thing about that and I backed him down really quick.
I'm a very non violence type of person but will defend myself and have the right to be my own person.
Females often complement me in public settings about a male wearing a French Braid looking very nice on a male and how secure I must be. I'm very secure just being me.

pantytimbmd
Jun 26, 2010, 5:57 PM
I have a slight effeminate side myself and would love to find someone with whom to practice and expand it with. I love panties and lingerie and would like to try crossdressing and being treated like a female.

Danielle_Tremblay
Jun 26, 2010, 6:31 PM
No I do not .

I'm a real man & I don't want want to be with someone who acts like a woman. Yeech..

Wasn't this a post last summer???


As always, on this site, the more i read the more i come to hate it. There seems to be a general undercurrent that exists here of bullS**T. All those people happily announcing their Bi-Sexuality and how they are so glad to have found a site such as this but, on the same note, denouncing others (as the the quote above) and still others that use terms like "flamers" and " "queens", hurtful terms.
I don't ask that anyone understands who, or what i am or how i came to be the way i am, all i ask for is a little tolerance as we try to understand one-another. Every time i pop on here i see a little more ignorance and others promoting the way THEY are as somewhat "supreme" or "more acceptable" while denouncing the rest of us. If you are Bisexual, then, by the "societal norms" there is something wrong with you. That's not me saying that, but society in general. Anyone who is "different" by mainstream standards has had to fight tooth and nail to press their rights and, every time i see a faint light at the end of the tunnel, the tunnel seems to grow longer.

Getting back to the question at hand.....i really don't care what the person is, all i really look for is an attraction, simple as that. Now, if you feel incensed and want to attack me personally after this, go ahead. Try and make a case out of what i have written by saying i wouldn't date someone who is different in other ways or not up to my standards.

I think i may remove my profile sooner than later.......

tenni
Jun 26, 2010, 6:47 PM
Danielle
What are you writing about? csreef used no such words as flamer or queens? He stated what type of man that he was attracted to.

Danielle_Tremblay
Jun 26, 2010, 7:09 PM
This may not be PC but I find myself more attracted to guys like me, muscular and masculine then so called twinks. I dont want a drama queen or a flamer, skinny guys are great. I guess it is more about the personality than the body type. Dont like fatties and bears though. There has to be something there physically.

There's one reference, and i never said csreef used those terms, i simply quoted what he had written....


This may not be PC but I find myself more attracted to guys like me, muscular and masculine then so called twinks. I dont want a drama queen or a flamer, skinny guys are great. I guess it is more about the personality than the body type. Dont like fatties and bears though. There has to be something there physically.


There`s another........

tenni
Jun 26, 2010, 7:28 PM
Danielle
Now you know that some bisexual men are attracted to traditionally masculine traits in other men while some bisexual men are attracted to men who have more traditional feminine traits. NH ponted out that he was not being PC and now you know that some bisexual men feel strongly about what type of men that they are attracted to.

Did you not know this?

As a transwoman, sorry that you are offended and these words have been painful for you in your past. However, this is a bisexual website and bimen are going to be honest as to what they are attracted to ..or not.

Danielle_Tremblay
Jun 26, 2010, 8:30 PM
Danielle
Now you know that some bisexual men are attracted to traditionally masculine traits in other men while some bisexual men are attracted to men who have more traditional feminine traits. NH ponted out that he was not being PC and now you know that some bisexual men feel strongly about what type of men that they are attracted to.

Did you not know this?

As a transwoman, sorry that you are offended and these words have been painful for you in your past. However, this is a bisexual website and bimen are going to be honest as to what they are attracted to ..or not.

You can be as honest as you wish......just try to be more sensitive when you do so......that's my point Tenni......quit running around defending everyone else and let them speak for themselves.....period!

tenni
Jun 26, 2010, 8:41 PM
I'm not defending other people. I'm asking you what is your problem and why are you on a bisexual website?

Are you a bisexual woman or an effeminate guy? If you are a bisexual woman then try to put away the past hurt of being seen as an effeminate guy. I know that would be hard. Calling a man an effeminate guy might also be painful for some effeminate guys. Perhaps, if the site is to be sensitive to transswomen and effeminate guys, this question should be banned? That seems to be asking bimen not to discuss openly and honestly what they like though.

Danielle_Tremblay
Jun 27, 2010, 9:38 AM
Tenni, this will be my last response to you as i believe YOU are missing the point. There are so many things i'd like to say here most of which i can not. I am NOT taking offense to the fact that there are persons out there that do not feel an attraction to people such as me......to each their own. What i am saying is, Keep your personal comments to yourself such as Csreef's post....and i quote...... "I'm a real man & I don't want want to be with someone who acts like a woman. Yeech.." His statement is perfectly acceptable right up to the point he said "Yeech". What? i'm a snail on the sidewalk now? Please! Or what about hot_fun_summertime's posting "No I do not like flaming queens or men who act feminine or camp. I'm not attracted to "men" who dress up as women and take on a woman's name, drag queens, and even the guys who like to put on their wife or girlfriend's panties are a turn off." Contrary to popular belief, the terms "Drag Queen" and "Flaming Queens" are derogatory in my community.

If i were straight, or even not and i made a comment such as this, people would be asking Drew for my account deletion......pronto!
Again.....i am NOT opposed to someone stating a fact such as "i do not like cranberries" but when you make a statement such as "disgusting" or "Yech" right after such statement, you place yourself on a pedestal while degrading those of us in a specific group. Are you getting the point now Tenni......oh, and remember......i never once pointed to your statement as well......you can dislike my "people" as much as you wish.......

TheBisexualProfessor
Jun 27, 2010, 10:53 AM
Nope. Just not my thing! The guy doesn't have to be macho, either.

RobUK
Jun 27, 2010, 1:52 PM
I'm with the prof. Not me, either. Though saying that, rules are there to be broken, so never say never...
;)

Danielle_Tremblay
Jun 27, 2010, 2:03 PM
Prof. And RobUK......intelligently worded......thank you both!

Delilah
Jun 29, 2010, 10:40 AM
Me being a transgender, I prefer men masculine! I like them tough and rugged! Tattoos, goatee, tall, big hands, burly hairy chest, stocky to beefy, leather jacket, motorcycle.. just got out of prison...just kidding on the prison part lol
The kind that will pull my hair back and whisper in my ear "Ya gonna love this..." :bigrin:

TamLin
Jun 29, 2010, 4:18 PM
Let me think about this....

YES.

Although the guys I date are usually more of a "Middle of the road," look to them. I've never cared for overly masculine men or the "bear" crowd, although there have been exceptions. As with everything, personality tips the scales, but all other things being equal, I tend to prefer a man who isn't afraid of his feminine side.

Cherokee_Mountaincat
Jun 29, 2010, 5:37 PM
Tam. meet Rough. Rough, meet Tam. Since you're both in the same town, maybe you could meet and say hi. :}
Have a great day. :bigrin:;)
Cat

dickhand
Jun 29, 2010, 5:48 PM
By effeminate , do you mean soft spoken and slight build or swishy ? Swishy doesn't do anything for me . Just like crossdressers . If that's what does it for them , that's fine . If a fella is just mild mannered and sensitive , then that's o.k. with me .

MarieDelta
Jun 29, 2010, 7:44 PM
[QUOTE=roughandgruffplay;174389
The thing about feminine men is that it's all an act so people will pay attention to them. That's what being flaming and camp is all about.

If others want to be into flaming queens that's fine but I do my best to avoid them.[/QUOTE]

Feminine men do not do it to attract attention.

Those who do are called drama queens.

For Most femme men it is their gender expresion and it is innate.

Take a look at "The Naked Civil Servant" - Quentin Crisp (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quentin_Crisp). Most of the time he went out of his way to avoid attention, because attracting attention meant getting beat up. As is the case with most femme acting /looking men, in my experience.

Gender expression isnt the same as gender by the way.

darkeyes
Jun 29, 2010, 8:25 PM
Quentin Crisp was an actor/celebrity on TV and in plays and even movies.

How does that mean that he somehow did not not want attention?

He also purposely acted feminine and wore makeup and sometimes women's clothing so yeah that is done all on purpose in his case.

A friend of mine met and had lunch several times with Crisp in the late 70s and mid 80s and said he was a drama queen and a total prick thinking he was above everyone else.

I'm not saying that all flaming queens do it as an act but the majority do.

I have seen guys who are masculine and then as they get older they purposely become flamers because they think that they have to act this way as a gay man.

Quentin Crisp was not always an actor and celebrity.. prior to being such he was an ordinary British civil servant who was much as he was after becoming a celeb.. his book tells his story in the days before homosexuality was legalised. I suggest you read it and maybe then you will gain a little understanding..he was never masculine and was often beaten up severely as a young man because of what he was.. he was as he was.. that was no act...

Canticle
Jun 29, 2010, 9:39 PM
Quentin Crisp was not always an actor and celebrity.. prior to being such he was an ordinary British civil servant who was much as he was after becoming a celeb.. his book tells his story in the days before homosexuality was legalised. I suggest you read it and maybe then you will gain a little understanding..he was never masculine and was often beaten up severely as a young man because of what he was.. he was as he was.. that was no act...

You're right, Fran....and didn't John Hurt play Crisp magnificiently, in the BBC film, The Naked Civil Servant. I read his first book and how funny, sad, tragic and uplifting, it was. A unique character and when interviewed, a very amusing man. Also a man, who suffered a great deal of loneliness, during his life, but nonetheless, a character to be remembered.

Cherokee_Mountaincat
Jun 30, 2010, 2:06 AM
No thanks.
Why would I want to meet up with some stranger online just because they are local? I'm in SF and I can meet up with any number of men and women and I don't have to go online to do it. I'm sure Tam is a nice guy but I don't think we have much in common besides our sexuality.

Uhhh, because its a nice way to make friends?
Cat

TamLin
Jun 30, 2010, 2:36 AM
No thanks.

Why would I want to meet up with some stranger online just because they are local?

I'm in SF and I can meet up with any number of men and women and I don't have to go online to do it.

I'm sure Tam is a nice guy but I don't think we have much in common besides our sexuality.

It's worse than you think. I'm not even that nice of a guy. ;)



Gender expression isnt the same as gender by the way.

Particularly when you consider that "gender" is just a set of rules and norms that can be fluid between cultures and time periods (as opposed to sex, which is anatomical and generally not fluid at all). Masculine and feminine behavior aren't set in stone.

Cherokee_Mountaincat
Jun 30, 2010, 4:28 AM
Long Dong Ducky Fuck and Summertime Bleating, you two flamers are boring the fuck out me...

Hmmmm, interesting. You joined 2 years ago, and you only have 4 posts, and one of them has to be nasty insults???
Cat

DuckiesDarling
Jun 30, 2010, 4:37 AM
:2cents:
Long Dong Ducky Fuck and Summertime Bleating, you two flamers are boring the fuck out me...

Hmmmm, interesting. You joined 2 years ago, and you only have 4 posts, and one of them has to be nasty insults???
Cat

Actually, Cat, they might have taken offense to the way LDD didn't rise to the bait. And I wasn't gonna post in this thread but since my name was mentioned I will. They tried to get him to post something that might get him in trouble with me. I happen to have spoken to the man that LDD was talking about and I found him very shy and sweet natured. I have seen pictures and I would not say he was effeminate looking, but he has a soft nature. And hot_fun_summertime was obviously our resident troll that was back in here, and yes he was certainly a flamer, but my babe is not a flamer. In fact he's often flamed because he doesn't want to go out and just screw every Tom, Dick and Harry because he's faithful to me. Love does whacky things now don't it? My :2cents: and now I'm out of this thread, carry on bi males.

MarieDelta
Jun 30, 2010, 9:25 AM
It's worse than you think. I'm not even that nice of a guy. ;)



Particularly when you consider that "gender" is just a set of rules and norms that can be fluid between cultures and time periods (as opposed to sex, which is anatomical and generally not fluid at all). Masculine and feminine behavior aren't set in stone.

Gender Expression is informed by our society. Gender is not.

David Reimer, initially born a healthy male , had his penis cauterized off in a circumcision accident. At 6 months of age. Dr John Money proposed they raise the child as a girl. It did not work. Davids’ early life was one in which he was forced into a gender that was not his own. Eventually (at 16 yo) he was told that he was initialy born male. He subsequently transitioned back to male.

In addition Dr Money had also been overseeing the treatment of several intersexed children. These children had had their gender selected for them, by Dr Money. It was an astounding failure. Many of these children eventually transitioned to a gender of their choosing.

Finally, recent studies of transsexual womens’ brain structures shows them to be female in nature. Prior to the start of female homone therapy. There is also this recent study from Austrailia ( http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/7689007.stm ) that shows a link between transsexualism and genetics.

Which is not to say that I think we need to raise children with strict gender roles, as has been done in the past. However, its my opinion that our gender is an inborn characteristic and that gender expression is informed by our society.

peterupright
Jun 30, 2010, 9:39 AM
Sure I like Fem guys, masculine guys and CD's. They all have lovely cocks that get very hard and explode in my mouth.

Realist
Jun 30, 2010, 12:39 PM
I had a male lover, back in the '70s, who was effeminate. He wasn't obtrusive, or overbearing, but did have traits of feminism.(Not a "flamer" as someone else said) He was very sensual and intelligent, as well as considerate and caring. He was gay, but I've know other guys who had feminine traits, who were perfectly straight.

Just because they have those traits, doesn't mean they are bad people. He was a magnificent lover.

Cherokee_Mountaincat
Jun 30, 2010, 6:58 PM
Welll Danielle, welcome back, but, if you dislike this site so much, then why return? Like I said, if people dont like the way this site is, perhaps they should venture out and create one of their own liking.
Happy Trails.
Cat

Kink-in-LA
Jul 2, 2010, 7:18 AM
Not for me. I like them straight acting and jocks! Gimme muscles, a firm grip, and less emotion, more animal attraction!

Cherokee_Mountaincat
Jul 2, 2010, 1:48 PM
lol Hello to another Bi Leo. I kinda like your discription too...nummmm(Of the jocks)
Silly Cat

kinsey4
Jul 4, 2010, 4:15 AM
I generally rougher guys with a bit of hair on them, but that can include 'bears' - you know, hairy gay guys, some of which are a bit camp, it's all good. I also like trans guys and butch lesbians, so the boundaries are a bit blurry :)

MrBisex
Jul 4, 2010, 12:19 PM
I prefer women to be feminine and men to be more masculine, without them having to be macho's.

Men that tries to be like women is a turn off for me. :(

Sonak
Jul 4, 2010, 5:02 PM
I'm pretty picky with guys but in general the ones I like are quite effeminate

donnchristie
Jul 4, 2010, 5:17 PM
I dont mind fem guys at all, I am closer to that than some..........

heartodaybitomorrow
Jul 4, 2010, 8:49 PM
masculin men, and feminine woman do it for be but trannys/cds are the exception. Very attracted to them. But dont like super fem guys that dont do the tranny thing if it makes sense.

neverthough
Oct 1, 2010, 8:17 PM
As always, on this site, the more i read the more i come to hate it. There seems to be a general undercurrent that exists here of bullS**T. All those people happily announcing their Bi-Sexuality and how they are so glad to have found a site such as this but, on the same note, denouncing others (as the the quote above) and still others that use terms like "flamers" and " "queens", hurtful terms.
I don't ask that anyone understands who, or what i am or how i came to be the way i am, all i ask for is a little tolerance as we try to understand one-another. Every time i pop on here i see a little more ignorance and others promoting the way THEY are as somewhat "supreme" or "more acceptable" while denouncing the rest of us. If you are Bisexual, then, by the "societal norms" there is something wrong with you. That's not me saying that, but society in general. Anyone who is "different" by mainstream standards has had to fight tooth and nail to press their rights and, every time i see a faint light at the end of the tunnel, the tunnel seems to grow longer.

Getting back to the question at hand.....i really don't care what the person is, all i really look for is an attraction, simple as that. Now, if you feel incensed and want to attack me personally after this, go ahead. Try and make a case out of what i have written by saying i wouldn't date someone who is different in other ways or not up to my standards.

I think i may remove my profile sooner than later.......

Well as in every message board that exists there are those who will just blurt out whatever comes first, good sense human decency and courtesy having nothing to do with it. I tend to ignore most posts and say little unless a desire arises to "blurt" my own rhetoric. I quit trying to change anyone and when people ask a question I try to give "my" thoughts and not challenge others. I believe there would be "peace in the middle east" as well as the rest of the world, if there was a tolerance to let people be just who they are. I have effeminate male friends who cannot express the desires of their lives for fear of bending the "norm", and know men who in their masculinity are atrocius human beings. Not everyone is painted with the same same brush so perhaps if I just say, when the lights are out and we like what we touch and taste and feel then it matters not whether they are the local female wrestler or the local male florist, lets turrn the lights on and enjoy life.

I would miss your profile Dani..

TheBisexualProfessor
Oct 1, 2010, 9:03 PM
Nope. I enjoy masculine men with some hair on their chest. They can have a "soft" side, but I just prefer that they not be effeminate (if you're asking what type of guys I find attractive). As for friendship, I have friends who are effeminate and friends who are more masculine. They should be themselves.

Thomas_The_Rhymer
Oct 1, 2010, 9:04 PM
I prefer men to be more effeminate I suppose. I prefer women to be feminine and my male lovers to be more feminine than average male in looks and behavior.

TheBisexualProfessor
Oct 1, 2010, 9:04 PM
Oh, and in reply to Dani -- my goodness, you are SO right. It's fine to say what attracts you, folks, but stop condemning one another. YOU want to be accepted, but then you want to tell everyone else how they are wrong!

caldura
Oct 1, 2010, 10:06 PM
Yes I do very much, cute and in good shape, shaved...ummmm more so than the all masculiney type.

Realist
Oct 1, 2010, 11:39 PM
Sure, if they share mutual interests, are fun to be with, safe and sensuous, why not?

abstruse_ric
Oct 2, 2010, 2:25 AM
You know, I have to say this is an interesting question. I don't mind if a guy is effeminate. What I do mind is if he is bitchy or acts like a jerk, qualities that are found equally among effeminate and masculine guys.

69luvr
Oct 4, 2010, 3:41 PM
Each to their own, but I prefer efeminine men. I find them more compassionate, but by sayng this i usually have sex with other cd's or cd admirers. I love foreplay more than anything else, alot of touching and kissing.

I am with you concerning CDs and effeminate guys. I can not resist them. :bipride:

bi_curiousgeorge
Oct 4, 2010, 6:08 PM
Absolutely!! I really like guys who have feminine qualities. A good looking guy with a feminine voice and mannerisms is a real turn on for me. I am not at all feminine, but cannot take my eyes off the guys I see who are. I've never had the pleasure of getting close to an effeminate man, but would sure love to some day. So if your out there......I'd love to meet you! :love1:

xxxbody44
Oct 4, 2010, 6:18 PM
Some times I do, when I get real wild. I like a man with smooth legs who CD.

I like to play the whole game with him, kiss his legs all the way to the top, lift his dress and take care of him very slowly

void()
Oct 4, 2010, 6:44 PM
As always, on this site, the more i read the more i come to hate it. There seems to be a general undercurrent that exists here of bullS**T. All those people happily announcing their Bi-Sexuality and how they are so glad to have found a site such as this but, on the same note, denouncing others (as the the quote above) and still others that use terms like "flamers" and " "queens", hurtful terms.
I don't ask that anyone understands who, or what i am or how i came to be the way i am, all i ask for is a little tolerance as we try to understand one-another. Every time i pop on here i see a little more ignorance and others promoting the way THEY are as somewhat "supreme" or "more acceptable" while denouncing the rest of us. If you are Bisexual, then, by the "societal norms" there is something wrong with you. That's not me saying that, but society in general. Anyone who is "different" by mainstream standards has had to fight tooth and nail to press their rights and, every time i see a faint light at the end of the tunnel, the tunnel seems to grow longer.

Getting back to the question at hand.....i really don't care what the person is, all i really look for is an attraction, simple as that. Now, if you feel incensed and want to attack me personally after this, go ahead. Try and make a case out of what i have written by saying i wouldn't date someone who is different in other ways or not up to my standards.

I think i may remove my profile sooner than later.......


I apologize. No real excuse but I have homosexual friends that don't mind being called such. Should have followed mixed company rule here, though. Again my apologies.

nbboy1123
Oct 4, 2010, 7:41 PM
Personally I love guys that are effeminate. The more they are the bigger of a turn on it is for me! Sadly every guy I meet is like totally masculine and I can never find a cute effeminate guy. :(:bipride:

mdcannoli
Oct 4, 2010, 10:32 PM
I'm going to apologize for not reading every post but, jeez, I'll just answer the question. I like gentle somewhat effeminate men but not flamers They offer a different outlook on life than macho guys - often more sophisticated and less blunt, more laughter and less chest beating. As to physical attraction it could be anyone or any type of person. There's other layers of interaction. It's been said that an effeminate "Dandy" is a classic seducer type (of men and women).
(http://www.amazon.com/Art-Seduction-Robert-Greene/dp/0142001198)
I'm actually looking for an effeminate dancer type.

pantytimbmd
Sep 17, 2011, 8:07 AM
I have a little bit of an effeminate side and have been exploring it more and more lately. I have always loved feminine undergarments and am also getting into skirts, blouses, and more. I sometimes want to be treated like a woman when being intimate with another guy.

elian
Sep 17, 2011, 10:38 AM
I used to think that I would like to be more submissive and look for a more dominant partner but I'm not so sure anymore - I think it really depends on the person..

locotom
Sep 17, 2011, 5:39 PM
i don't see why there has to be a label for everything and everyone, we are who we are, and who we like is personal choice

sexyone4u
Sep 17, 2011, 9:11 PM
Sure, if they share mutual interests, are fun to be with, safe and sensuous, why not?

i couldnt agree more....

sexyone4u
Sep 17, 2011, 9:15 PM
i don't see why there has to be a label for everything and everyone, we are who we are, and who we like is personal choice

ditto !!!

Bi-CuriousDoogie
Sep 17, 2011, 10:33 PM
I guess it would depend on their personality. I'm attracted to that more than anything else. If we click, then that's about all I need.

Reprob8
Sep 17, 2011, 10:55 PM
I don't care for CAMP, but I do like someone who is sensitive and sweet. I don't like a guy who tries to push my teeth through the back of my head when we kiss.

Does that make sense?

myschyfnmayhem
Sep 18, 2011, 3:14 AM
I prefer Masculine but not Macho. If I did want Femme it would be a cute Tranny with nice tits and cock.

biste
Sep 18, 2011, 4:17 AM
Kind of a silly question, it seems to me a lot of the time, but I know some guys don't.

I actually like guys that, if not actually effeminate, have the more "softer"- less masculine- looks and personality. Of course, being a Viagra guy, I'd also like the queen to be good with his weenie, too.

So, show of hands: How many of you guys like other guys that are stereotypical queer looking and acting (I've raised my hand)?

No I cannot stand effeminate guys to be perfectly honest. I like a guy that acts like a guy.

lizard-lix
Sep 18, 2011, 7:21 AM
Mostly I just like people..

Very effeminate guys can tip it over the top a bit though. Then again I am not attracted to super feminine helpless-damsel-in-distress women either.

Nor am I attracted to the super macho guys. or super butch women

I like 'normal' men and women (ok that IS vague lol) who span the 'normal' range of masculine to feminine for both (i.e slightly fem guys and slightly butch girls are both fine as long as the rest of their personality works)

I do have a very soft spot for androgynous folks of both sexes. If I look at someone and can't tell if they are male or female, I am instantly attracted.

adventurerinbelize
Sep 19, 2011, 4:56 PM
I like guys who are nice and can really, really suck my cock and lick my asshole. Fem, masc.....either way.

Gearbox
Sep 19, 2011, 5:37 PM
I like them. But sexually I'm drawn to masculine men. I always seem to want to top the masc tops even more.
Which maybe some kind of dom issue I have, but there you go.:tongue:

bi_free82
Sep 22, 2012, 5:13 PM
Guess I'm the odd one. I like fem guys. I like the look of a slim fem guy. Oddly I don't like fem guys that are real over the top flamers. And I like transexuals too. Masculine types don't do it for me visually or mentally. I'm not into muscle, thats a turn off for me.

same here, i tought i'm alone in this :)

ErosUrge
Sep 22, 2012, 7:45 PM
Okay, so this question seems a bit vague to me. I'm guessing it pertains mostly to being physically attracted....if that's the case, then no, for the most part, I can't say I am; particularly when the effeminate element is very strong. Please don't misunderstand; I'm not against overtly effeminate men-just usually not attracted to them. There have been some exceptions.
As others have stated, I also am not interested in really masculine men and especially if they have the element of "machismo"...everytime I see machismo in action, it seems to me something is lacking; just my opinion.

I do like androgynous men; very much...so maybe I do like the effeminate more than I realize...but I don't think that androgyny and being effeminate are the same. I suppose they could be and often are, but then I don't really know. I need to do more research on it. A friend of mine suggested that androgyny is more about the physical aspect and being effeminate is more to do with the behavior or personality. Perhaps someone could chime in on this. I will say that with androgynous men I do like for the bare bones masculinity to be present; not pronounced but simply natural...

R. R. Wayne
Sep 23, 2012, 12:55 AM
If they are sane and clean and enjoy sucking cock and being sucked. Works for me.

a2smith09
Sep 23, 2012, 2:45 PM
Everybody's different. I like effeminate guys just fine. Theyre the ones who can usually pull off cross dressing the best.