Airline Fun!

[rdy2go]

The passenger jet lifted off from JFK bound for London, UK. As the airliner leveled off the Captian grabbed the mic to give his usual greeting to the passengers. "Hello, this is your Captian speaking," he began. "We are expecting a smooth flight into London today, we will be cruising at an altitude of 28,000 ft. If any of the crew today can be of assistance in making your flight more enjoyable, please do not hesitate to ask. Thank you for flying with us today." With that he put the mic back on it's clip, but did not notice that the switch was stuck in the "on" position. The captian took off his seat belt and looked at the co pilot saying, "I'm gonna put this thing on autopilot, go have a shit, then I'm gonna fuck that new blonde flight attendant." Of course this statement was heard loud and clear by everyone on the plane. The flight attendant was horrified, and began running toward the cockpit to tell the pilot what had happened. Half way up the aisle she tripped and fell, right beside a little old lady who was well into her 80's. The lady looked down at the flight attendant and shook her head saying, "Honey I don't know why you're running you heard him say he was going to have a shit first!"

[mikey3000]

In keeping with the current poop theme:


It was opening night at the Theatre and The Amazing Claude was
topping the bill. Hundreds of people came from miles around to see the famed
hypnotist do his stuff. As Claude took to the stage, he announced,
"Unlike most stage hypnotists who invite two or three people up onto
the stage to be put into a trance, I intend to hypnotize each and every member of this audience."

The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful
antique pocket watch from his coat. "I want you each to keep your eye on
this antique watch. It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for six generations."

He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly
chanting, "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch ..."
The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth,
light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed
the swaying watch, until suddenly it slipped from the hypnotist's
fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces!
"Shit!" said the hypnotist.

It took three weeks to clean up the theatre.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Grooaannn..Ya'll are bad.. (Go to my room) lol
Cat

[rissababynta]

Grooaannn..Ya'll are bad.. (Go to my room) lol
Cat

I agree lmao.
Gave me a chuckle though.