fredtyg
Aug 3, 2009, 1:44 PM
Just wondering if anyone has any good stories about coming clean about your homo/ bisexuality to friends or families. I guess I'm looking for the success stories, if you will, like the one Joshua posted the other day. I see a few mentions of it in a thread here (http://main.bisexual.com/forum/showthread.php?t=6214&highlight=outing) last year, but I was thinking of more specifics. Probably around 8 years ago I had my best outing to an in- law:
*****
After I had my first computer for a while I naturally gravitated to some of the porn sites- gay porn sites being my favorite. I'd almost have to give the internet the credit for realizing I shouldn't be bothered with being gay or bisexual. After all, I'd see and read of so many people like me that I knew I wasn't alone.
But I was alone. My best friend at the time was constantly making homo bashing comments and a brother- in- law (BIL) that I saw regularly joined in. I didn't think the BIL was all that against homos since he was a fairly mellow guy. He just wanted to join in with the manly banter. I never joined in and, although those two were the main friends I saw regularly at the time, it made me feel a little weird as I was becoming more and more aware I was at the very least bisexual, if not homo, and I liked being that way.
I didn't have anybody to talk about sex and related stuff like we do on this web site and I was dying for someone I could let my hair down around, so to speak.
I was sexually attracted to the BIL, but was a bit afraid of telling him I was queer. He might have a hostile reaction (although I doubted that) or he might tell other family members. Still, I was almost in a go- for- broke situation as I didn't feel I could go on like that for the rest of my life. I decided one way or another- "one of these days"- I wanted to tell him I was queer and that I had sexual feelings for him. It took a while for it to finally happen. I just kept thinking about it and thinking about it until I knew I had no other choice.
Problem was, and one thing that kept my outing efforts in check, was the inlaws- nearly all of them- are very religious, Catholic type family and do NOT approve of homosexual acts. The wife's lesbian sister is accepted to family social occasions but I think most in the family tend to avoid her because she's lezzie. If it got out that I was queer, it could be a disaster inlaw- wise and maybe even for the wife. But I felt I'd eventually have to take the chance.
So, one summer day the BIL came over and we were chatting in my garage. It was one of the few times he'd come and actually stayed for any real time. Usually he'd just stop by for a cigarette and a beer then leave. I almost felt used those times. But this time he stayed for a while.
So, I'm standing there talking to him and I realized the time had come. I steered the conversation towards sex and we went on. He'd always enjoyed talking about sex. I don't remember just what point in the conversation it was that I finally said something along the line of, "I don't know if you realized it, but I LOVE sucking cock and always have...".
He didn't act shocked. He seemed glad to be entrusted with such personal information and probably felt privileged knowing something not too many others know. DAMN, did that feel good getting that off my chest!
The conversation continued with him admitting he'd done some homo stuff in the past but he didn't elaborate. I went on to tell him about most of my homo experiences, probably to a fault- didn't need to go too far too fast. But it felt good telling him about things I'd had bottled up in me. I was in seventh heaven. I felt so good.
I finally got to telling him how I'd really like to find someone to see regularly for man to man sex. He says, "So, you want a fuck- buddy. I'll be your fuck- buddy". AWESOME! I admitted to him I found him quite attractive and he would be the perfect guy as he lived relatively close by and I see him all the time anyway.
So that was one of the neatest experiences I'd ever had, just outing myself to someone and it didn't go sour on me.
But I probably took it for more than it was worth. I figured we'd be going all the way in no time. There was one thing I didn't take into consideration: He's not a homo and preferred girls. He also had to be concerned with the guilt from taking part in homo relationships- same as I had and still have a little to this day. He didn't want to go too fast or make too big a deal out of this as I did.
The wife was going out of town for a few days around then so I suggested he come over then and we'd have plenty of time for....whatever. The time came and he was nowhere to be found. I could understand his nervousness. So, it was weeks before he finally let me taste his cock, and the first time was a teaser, I guess you'd call it.
He came over and was using the bathroom. I went in and was rather obvious in wanting to see him pee and see his cock, but he had his back to me. All of the sudden he turned around with his zipper open and dick exposed. He took a step closer to me and I got down on my knees and went to work on him. After he got going pretty good, much to my surprise and disappointment, he pulled out of my mouth and zipped up his pants saying, "Need to save it for later". How rude to lead me on like that!
Well, we were getting there, and it wasn't but a week or two later he came over and I got lucky: He was horny, so he let me suck on him until completion. He let me do it a few more times over a course of weeks and he gave me the treat of letting me stick my finger up his ass when I'd be sucking on him. Even some relatively straight guys like things up their butt during sex and he was one of them.
I was loving it and was pretty sure we could end up going all the way, eventually. I knew he liked fingers up his ass and he sounded interested in having a dick up his butt while having sex. He told me he even mentioned it to his girlfriend but she wouldn't have any part of me fucking him while she was having sex with him. Shame
But no matter, because eventually things fell apart as far as the sex went and he eventually stopped showing up at my house. And, since then, a few others in the family have found out about me. Though they didn't tell everybody else, they tend to give me the cold shoulder. So, remember there can still be very unpleasant consequences for outing oneself to certain people.
Still, the relief I got from just telling him about my homo/ bisexual self was worth it even without the sex. I'll mark the moment I told him as one of the happiest in my life.
*****
After I had my first computer for a while I naturally gravitated to some of the porn sites- gay porn sites being my favorite. I'd almost have to give the internet the credit for realizing I shouldn't be bothered with being gay or bisexual. After all, I'd see and read of so many people like me that I knew I wasn't alone.
But I was alone. My best friend at the time was constantly making homo bashing comments and a brother- in- law (BIL) that I saw regularly joined in. I didn't think the BIL was all that against homos since he was a fairly mellow guy. He just wanted to join in with the manly banter. I never joined in and, although those two were the main friends I saw regularly at the time, it made me feel a little weird as I was becoming more and more aware I was at the very least bisexual, if not homo, and I liked being that way.
I didn't have anybody to talk about sex and related stuff like we do on this web site and I was dying for someone I could let my hair down around, so to speak.
I was sexually attracted to the BIL, but was a bit afraid of telling him I was queer. He might have a hostile reaction (although I doubted that) or he might tell other family members. Still, I was almost in a go- for- broke situation as I didn't feel I could go on like that for the rest of my life. I decided one way or another- "one of these days"- I wanted to tell him I was queer and that I had sexual feelings for him. It took a while for it to finally happen. I just kept thinking about it and thinking about it until I knew I had no other choice.
Problem was, and one thing that kept my outing efforts in check, was the inlaws- nearly all of them- are very religious, Catholic type family and do NOT approve of homosexual acts. The wife's lesbian sister is accepted to family social occasions but I think most in the family tend to avoid her because she's lezzie. If it got out that I was queer, it could be a disaster inlaw- wise and maybe even for the wife. But I felt I'd eventually have to take the chance.
So, one summer day the BIL came over and we were chatting in my garage. It was one of the few times he'd come and actually stayed for any real time. Usually he'd just stop by for a cigarette and a beer then leave. I almost felt used those times. But this time he stayed for a while.
So, I'm standing there talking to him and I realized the time had come. I steered the conversation towards sex and we went on. He'd always enjoyed talking about sex. I don't remember just what point in the conversation it was that I finally said something along the line of, "I don't know if you realized it, but I LOVE sucking cock and always have...".
He didn't act shocked. He seemed glad to be entrusted with such personal information and probably felt privileged knowing something not too many others know. DAMN, did that feel good getting that off my chest!
The conversation continued with him admitting he'd done some homo stuff in the past but he didn't elaborate. I went on to tell him about most of my homo experiences, probably to a fault- didn't need to go too far too fast. But it felt good telling him about things I'd had bottled up in me. I was in seventh heaven. I felt so good.
I finally got to telling him how I'd really like to find someone to see regularly for man to man sex. He says, "So, you want a fuck- buddy. I'll be your fuck- buddy". AWESOME! I admitted to him I found him quite attractive and he would be the perfect guy as he lived relatively close by and I see him all the time anyway.
So that was one of the neatest experiences I'd ever had, just outing myself to someone and it didn't go sour on me.
But I probably took it for more than it was worth. I figured we'd be going all the way in no time. There was one thing I didn't take into consideration: He's not a homo and preferred girls. He also had to be concerned with the guilt from taking part in homo relationships- same as I had and still have a little to this day. He didn't want to go too fast or make too big a deal out of this as I did.
The wife was going out of town for a few days around then so I suggested he come over then and we'd have plenty of time for....whatever. The time came and he was nowhere to be found. I could understand his nervousness. So, it was weeks before he finally let me taste his cock, and the first time was a teaser, I guess you'd call it.
He came over and was using the bathroom. I went in and was rather obvious in wanting to see him pee and see his cock, but he had his back to me. All of the sudden he turned around with his zipper open and dick exposed. He took a step closer to me and I got down on my knees and went to work on him. After he got going pretty good, much to my surprise and disappointment, he pulled out of my mouth and zipped up his pants saying, "Need to save it for later". How rude to lead me on like that!
Well, we were getting there, and it wasn't but a week or two later he came over and I got lucky: He was horny, so he let me suck on him until completion. He let me do it a few more times over a course of weeks and he gave me the treat of letting me stick my finger up his ass when I'd be sucking on him. Even some relatively straight guys like things up their butt during sex and he was one of them.
I was loving it and was pretty sure we could end up going all the way, eventually. I knew he liked fingers up his ass and he sounded interested in having a dick up his butt while having sex. He told me he even mentioned it to his girlfriend but she wouldn't have any part of me fucking him while she was having sex with him. Shame
But no matter, because eventually things fell apart as far as the sex went and he eventually stopped showing up at my house. And, since then, a few others in the family have found out about me. Though they didn't tell everybody else, they tend to give me the cold shoulder. So, remember there can still be very unpleasant consequences for outing oneself to certain people.
Still, the relief I got from just telling him about my homo/ bisexual self was worth it even without the sex. I'll mark the moment I told him as one of the happiest in my life.