A Rush of Terrible Guilt......

[MisterMonte]

I spent an hour with another married man.
It was intense, I came, and I had an incredible rush of guilt.......

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Well thats going to happen. All kinds of things are going to rush thru your mind and its natural. What you have to ask yourself now is did you sate your desires for now?
Is there any way your lady might be open to the idea of you having a male lover now and then?
Dont feel guilty Hon. Physical needs must be met, just figure out to do it totally guilt free..:} :2cents:
Cat

[anon092708]

Any way you could've found an UNmarried man???????

[Bluebiyou]

I know how you feel.
I screwed around once, just once. That was nearly 10 years ago. I don't think I'll ever do it again. I didn't get 'caught' by my gf; keeping it to myself was harder. I betrayed myself more than her.
...the ambiguity of being bisexual.
...accepting my monogamous nature.
...just some of my internal struggles.
Good luck and best wishes.

[csrakate]

Feelings of guilt and shame should never be related to anything of a sexual nature. You have proven to yourself that perhaps you are not cut out to venture outside of your marriage. What sounds incredible in fantasy doesn't always translate well into reality. I applaud you for acknowledging your feelings. Now it is up to you to learn to get past that shame and decide for yourself just what you are capable of dealing with in the future. And don't feel bad or beat yourself up too much. We've all done things we aren't exactly proud of, but if you use this experience to educate yourself as to what you are and who you are, you will not have acted in vain.

Hugs,
Kate

[bamabiguy47]

Good point, Kate, about fantasy to reality. And if there is guilt afterwards, then you know it's not for you. I knew a couple whose marriage eventually fell apart after bringing a 3rd person into their bed. She couldn't handle the guilt and he couldn't deal with jealousy. Some fantasies should remain just that. It's not for everyone.
Good luck, Jon:tong:

[onewhocares]

Feelings of guilt and shame should never be related to anything of a sexual nature. You have proven to yourself that perhaps you are not cut out to venture outside of your marriage. What sounds incredible in fantasy doesn't always translate well into reality. I applaud you for acknowledging your feelings. Now it is up to you to learn to get past that shame and decide for yourself just what you are capable of dealing with in the future. And don't feel bad or beat yourself up too much. We've all done things we aren't exactly proud of, but if you use this experience to educate yourself as to what you are and who you are, you will not have acted in vain.

Hugs,
Kate

Kate....your insight NEVER ceases to amaze me. I wonder why I bother trying to express myself when I pale in comparison to the fine comments you make and a clearn and timely manner.
I would like to add.....

Yes, we all have our perception of reality. Sometimes we, or at least I have a plan in my head how I shall react in a given circumstance. Alas, I have not always reacted as I had intended....life and emotions enter into it. I can tell you that I am not one to feel guilty at all for any of my actions or those taken by my husband when we are with another man. My problem comes into play when hubby is with another man and I see him with another man and I am envious (perhaps not jealous) of the way he treats them and reacts with a man and not the same way with me...that has been the hard part for me. But I have come to accept that this is MY issue and I would never interfere with the happiness I want my husband to have. So I try to cope.

Belle

[paddington]

Hi Kate, me and my husband have been talking about this topic last night! i feel the same,there's such a big difference between fantasy and actually acting it out,crossing the line. i don't want to loose my marriage,i love my hubby and i don't want to cause him or me any more pain than we've already had. i felt i loved the woman i was seeing,over time i realised she wasn't a good person for me .even though i've known for some time she was bad for me i couldn't seem to cut myself from her.i've recently realised i don't love her anymore,but it's still hurt.
so me& my hubby are using fantasy at the moment and having a fantastic time:bigrin:!!!