how do you deal with being sexually fusterated??

[TashaSW]

Well, I am shy to ask this lol
But how do you deal with being sexually fusterated??

Yet at the same time you are against one night stands althought you might consider it if it was someone you know. (at least you know they are clean) but you don't have any friends in real life :( (VERY hard considering Im hearing impaired, which makes people uncomfortable it seems)

I haven't had sex since April, Ive been feeling "wanting" for a month or so. Yes I have toys but they don't really excite me much lol I guess cause it doesn't kiss and cuddle back!!!

Ive been feeling the need to be loved and cuddled. :)

I have no idea how to handle that!!! I wanna kiss someone and cuddle with them so badly and maybe "more" lol

The fact I lack experiences in lovemaking (stupid ex) I feel so embarressed at times and keep thinking of "The 40 Year Old Virgin"

*sighs*

Ok, Im still feel shy for saying all that lol but I just want to know if theres anything I could do!!! Advice please!!!

Tasha
*hides in a corner*

[Spicy]

I feel sorry for you. Would like to give you a hug to comfort you and say "things will turn better in time.

Hugs,
Spicy

[Herbwoman39]

Awww Sweetie...... (hug...cuddle) I know it's not the same. I wish I could do something to help.

What about the friend you mentioned a few weeks back? Is she an option at all?

And trust me when I say I know *exactly*what you mean when you talk about feeling like the "40 Year Old Virgin". I'm turning 40 in January and I'm still a bi virgin. Sure I have plenty of hetero experience, but I really don't think it's the same thing.

[TashaSW]

Herbwoman.... no on the friend I mentioned weeks ago :-)

Ya... the "40 year old virgin" really makes people think if they aren't experienced and aren't yet 40 hehe

Tasha

[shameless agitator]

Well, I find a lot of the time that when I start feeling like you do now what I'm really missing is just physical contact & not necessarily the sex. I say go to a massage therapist or spa. Let people pamper you for a while. It's not the same as the emotional intimacy, but you'd be surprised how much better you feel.

[sammie19]

Tash, in some ways we are different certainly in our respective histories. I have in the past never had any compunction about 1 night stands. The only criteria was I fancied someone enough to have sex with them. Sometimes it was good, sometimes pretty awful. I am no angel as the old cliche goes.

For a few months recently I was much too down to think about sex much. Well not quite true. I thought about it all the time in respect of one particular person. In general though, considering my rather libertine ways I rarely gave it a thought and just stopped going out and even looking far less doing.

The months went by and slowly I began to think a little about my sex life and began to miss it. I started going out again and after a few weeks was getting back into the swing of a normal 21 yo's life. Dancing clubbing drinking and life slowly perked up. I had really missed it so much and hadnt realised it.

Then came my first chance of getting layed by someone I really fancied. We almost did it but somehow it wasnt like before. Something kicked in and I just said "No I cant" and just ran. It just wasnt right. In fact it was some weeks after that before I did finally have sex again and omg what a release. Like you I needed someone to kiss. To cuddle and hold. To really feel that I wasnt alone. It wasn't love but for a time while we made love I felt I was loved and it made me feel wonderful.

Everything was so different in the morning. The act was nice but hardly earth shattering. When asked if we could meet again I said no because it wasn't for me. Since that night and morning I have had several 1 night stands but now I find that unlike before when sex was so much a part of my make up, now I am much more discerning in who I sleep with and simply refuse to allow myself become close to them. I need my sex drive really to be pent up so much that I just have to have sex but still not at any cost and with anyone who happens to be there.

For a bit after I dont think about it much and certainly dont need it. But slowly it builds up again until it is almost unbearable.

I think I know the reasons why my sex drive has changed, but without going into a deep analysis of that, I do understand that after a while without it, we all gag a bit for it sometimes, especially after a long absence of naughty. But more than just the sex. Its what goes with it. The cuddles and kisses and the touching. The feeling that, for a few moments we are loved.

So in many respects I also can't handle it very well. We have needs and the day must come when we satisfy them or we just burst! I know this isn't the advice you asked for but I hope it helps you realise that whether we are extremely permissive, or a bit more reserved in how we fulfil our lusts we have the same problems in so many ways, and none of us are perfect in just how we cope.

[taz67156]

I turn to my wife and if I can't get releaf their then its time to go for the porn but I've found resently that I haven't even wanted sex for several weeks as I have had other things to get done

[darkeyes]

[QUOTE=TashaSW]Well, I am shy to ask this lol
But how do you deal with being sexually fusterated??

Tash babes me deals wiv bein sexually fusterated just dandy. Its wen me is randy as hell an Kate's not about that the probs start!!