Need help in dealing with relationship

[Lookingforhelp]

I like to think I have my life in check with no unexpected surprises..(FYI I an a straight female.) Silly me right? Well, I've been dating a guy for about a year in somewhat of a long distance relationship. Same state but about 100 mile distance. He has asked me to move in with him, which I'm pretty excited about. My employer supports me 100% so I'm moving to work remotely, leaving my family, friends and way of life behind... Not so terrible right? Well, I've recently gotten the impression he may be cheating on me. I'm not some simple headed girl, long distance usually leads to cheating... But late night texts, calls, hiding his phone and laptop... Just lead me to believe something was there... Found out for the past few years he had been seeking "casual encounters" on Craigslist. I do have proof this is true. I built up the nerve to question him about this before I changed my entire life to be with him and he simply said it was all BS and a joke and he was just "messing with people and would stop if it bothered me" I knew deep down it wasn't a joke. He hasn't stopped. Now dating someone who is seeking casual sexual bi relations online, well in my mind, that is cheating. I have absolutely zero problems with bi or samesex relationships. However when I'm in a commited relationship (in my mind at least) seeking "favors" from guys while I'm out of town is unacceptable, at least I feel it is... Anyone have any advice of how to discuss or confront? I love my boyfriend to death, yet lies don't go over well with me...

[elmwood7]

I think you should sit him down and tell him exactly what you've just told us. Especially before you change your whole life around for him. Be calm but make sure he understands your feelings on this. Honesty and openness are always the best way.

[tenni]

I agree with what Elmwood wrote. You seem to have your mind made up though. He is not going to change if he is bisexual. He might for awhile but his needs will resurface. Give it a try to stay in a long distance relationship for up to six months but unless one of you change your position it will not work. You want a monogamous relationship. He does not want that. A monogamous relationship is not going to make him happy. Unless you are willing to come up with some boundary rules for him to continue same sex play, you are at a stalemate. Do not move and change your life unless you are completely comfortable with what is going on.

[Lookingforhelp]

Thanks for both of your words of advice. It really means a lot.

[biturbo]

Hello there - a small advice, if I may: since he seems bi, he may need things that no woman can provide [being somewhat bi myself, I should know]. So you/both have to arrange to give him that in the open, with your knowledge, etc, so it does not feel like cheating. You cannot deprive someone of their own nature. If this does not work for you, then there is little chance of a future for the two if you. Good luck.

[Visexual]

I think the only way this relationship will work out is if you're interested, not just willing, in joining him with other men. It just doesn't sound like you can accept his seeing men alone and he probably isn't going to give up his besexual activities just to be with you.