Hell Yes, You Do Exist! Biphobia in the World

[Brian]

By Jon Pressick

http://main.bisexual.com/forum/images/misc/miscstuff/author9.jpg"You're a fencesitter."
"You're just confused."
"You're just halfway to gay."
"You spread disease.
"You're just being trendy."
"Make up your mind."

When I take a look at a website such as Bisexual.com, I am filled with joy at seeing so many bi folks coming together. We're a community, we're strong people. But that doesn't mean the road for us is paved in pink, purple and blue! Among the many struggles we still have to deal with is the undeniable influence that biphobia has on our lives.

I've been a freelance writer/activist in the greater queer and the smaller bi community for a number of years. And when I write articles, I often ask for input, putting out emails for people to comment. Never have I ever received such response than from my simple call out for experiences with biphobia. This is a topic that many people have, unfortunately, had experience with and is a definite touchstone for our community.

What is Biphobia?
Wherever there exists differences in our world, there exist phobias. Be they an individual thing or a group mentality, humans seem to have a natural predilection toward fear. Perhaps the most widely recognized societal phobia is homophobia—the fear of people who love those of the same sex. Be it the result of religious beliefs, societal conditioning or just personal misunderstanding, homophobia is still rampant throughout the world. And for the longest time, bisexual people would have been lumped in under homophobia, given that we do have the ability to love those of the same sex. However, it just doesn't cut it. Bisexual people have a different set of experiences, that are, ahem, more complex than those covered by homophobia. And many of these experiences are based on where biphobia comes from.

Stereotypes and Biphobia
Maybe you could relate to some of the quotes at the beginning of this article. They are just some of the many, many stereotypes that are affixed to bisexual people. Basically, bi people are considered sex-crazed, indiscriminate, confused, disease-carrying fools who are deluding themselves with the idea that they can't or don't have to chose between the two genders. Perhaps the most powerful idea of bisexuality is that it simply doesn't exist. Robyn Ochs, longtime bi activist, educator and author tells of doing workshops across the United States: "Almost every place I visit, one or more person says, "I don't believe in bisexuality."

Of course, any of these characteristics are unfair to place on a community as a whole or individuals. Unfortunately, it isn't even necessary for you to be directly assaulted with any of these stereotypes for you to be affected by them. Your very existence as a bi person can render you helpless in the face of outright discrimination. Cheryl Dobinson, an activist and creator of the bi women's 'zine The Fence, suggests that those who are confronted with these stereotypes may choose to "identify as another label, or no label at all."

Biphobia in the Straight Community
Given the prevalence of homophobia in the world, it is easy to see how the straight community is a major influence of biphobia. Robyn Ochs, in Bisexuality: The Psychological and Politics of an Invisible Minority (Ed. Beth A. Firestein, Sage, 1996, pp 217–239), makes a blunt statement:

“It is obvious that bisexual individuals who are being approached by someone intent upon perpetrating violence against them as they leave a gay bar are unlikely to have the opportunity to say to the gay basher, "Oh actually, you see, we're bisexual, not gay, so please, only beat us up on one side." Nor would such a plea be likely to dissuade the person from assaulting them.”

Of course, biphobia is not just about physical violence. Biphobia from the heterosexual community can take many forms. People who come out to family can be ostracized and disowned, in much the same way gay men and lesbians are. Many people will not come out to their families fearing losing them. Bi people, particularly men, are also condemned as transmitters of disease to the straight community. They are perceived as recklessly engaging in gay sex and then coming home and infecting their unsuspecting wives and girlfriends (of course the same does apply to women), with STI's such as AIDS. In the same vein, bisexuals are often blamed for the breakdown of families, if after time, they come out to their spouses. The courts can then treat them unsympathetically when issues of custody of children arise.

All of these instances come from the societal belief of the superiority of heterosexuality over homosexuality—any form of homosexuality. But even this comes in degrees. In recent years, the concept of "bisexual chic" has come up. Movies and television have portrayed women as "hot" when they exhibit bisexual tendencies and actions. Of course, it is assumed that those same women will still be coming home to their men in the end. This is a clear double standard. Men have never achieved this same level of cultural "hotness for being bisexual," more often than not male homosexual activity is still vilified.

Biphobia in the Queer Community
Almost seems like a contradiction, doesn't it? How can people who have been similarly oppressed also feed into biphobia? Aren't we "kin"? It may seem so these days, what with most queer organizations carrying the acronym "LGBT" (in the least). However, it must be remembered that that 'B' (and 'T' for that matter) are relatively new additions, and there is still much derision sent our way from the homosexual community.

There are certain gay and lesbian people who, much like straight people, also believe in the invisibility of bisexual people. However, instead of not wanting accept that a bi person's attraction to the opposite gender exists; they instead consider bi people to be too afraid to come all the way out as gay or lesbian. As a result, bi people are sometimes not accepted, particularly at the queer high holiday, Pride. If you haven't already, I invite you to go back and read "My Girlfriend's Boyfriend (http://main.bisexual.com/forum/showthread.php?t=296)" Sometimes gay men and lesbians can be downright catty to bisexual people!

On the other end of the spectrum of biphobia from the queer community is the belief in "heterosexual privilege." This is the notion that bisexuals can, when it is convenient for them, jump back and hide behind their "hetero" side when it comes to difficult situations. This leads to a sense of resentment. They feel that bi people have just jumped on the bandwagon of the rights and achievements they have accomplished. However, it should be noted that bi activists, such as Lani Ka'ahumanu, Robyn Ochs, Steven Harvey, Dana Shaw, Rob Yaeger and many others have working hand-in-hand with the wider queer community for understanding for many years.

Where do we go from here?
Whenever there is a social condition that is based on fear, much changing of attitudes needs to be accomplished before we can truly make change. Lani Ka'ahumanu notes "biphobia looks very different today than it did in the closing decades of the 20th century." Because bisexual people are more known, recognized and socially aware themselves, "there is less face to face hostility." However, she does note that biphobia is not a thing of the past yet; instead, "biphobia has gone underground. It's more subtle. Like sexist or racist comments or jokes people hold back now or use euphemisms and/or wait for the woman/person of colour/the bisexual to leave the room before they comment."

So what can we do, to dispel stereotypes and combat biphobia? Well, the best thing is to just be ourselves. Live your life the way you want. Take as a spouse whomever loves you and you love. If it works for you, have a lover of each gender, and carry a picture of each in your wallet. And while it may not be possible for everyone, wear your sexuality on your sleeve to establish you—and bisexuality in general—as someone and something that needs to be taken seriously and be respected.

(c) Copryight 2006 Jon Pressick

Jon Pressick is the feature article editor for Bisexual.com (http://main.bisexual.com). He is also the publisher of TRADE: Queer Things and a past contributor to Xtra!, Gaiety, Broken Pencil, Women’s Post and Quill and Quire.

[Driver 8]

In recent years, the concept of "bisexual chic" has come up. Movies and television have portrayed women as "hot" when they exhibit bisexual tendencies and actions. Of course, it is assumed that those same women will still be coming home to their men in the end. This is a clear double standard. Men have never achieved this same level of cultural "hotness for being bisexual," more often than not male homosexual activity is still vilified.
Though I doubt this is what you meant, Jon, let me chime something in here.

I often hear bi guys saying "In our society it's okay for women to be bi but not men" or "Bi women have it easier than bi men" and citing this sort of stereotype. That is NOT, NOT, NOT, NOT true, and I do wish some of the guys would stop and think a moment before coming out with it.

Being some man's fantasy is not the ultimate test of acceptance in the world. The fact that some straight guys are turned on by the thought of two women together doesn't stop them shouting threats and abuse from their cars at FF couples, or refusing to rent them apartments, or refusing to hire women they think aren't straight.

Furthermore, even sexually, the "bi women = hot" idea doesn't work in bi women's favor. Here's an example. There are a lot of men in the world who fantasize about large-breasted women, but almost none of them would walk up to a woman they don't know at a social event and say "I fantasize about big breasts. You have big breasts. Let's get together."

And yet men will come up to a bisexual woman they don't know and say "I fantasize about bisexual women. I hear you're bisexual ..." and expect you to jump into bed with them (and bring a friend.) It's as though the fact that you're a bisexual woman means you don't deserve the consideration a straight woman would get. These guys act as though bi women exist solely to get them off.

I don't doubt for a moment that biphobia affects bi men and bi women in different ways, but I'm so tired of hearing my life is great because two women can kiss while a bunch of men jack off.

[FireRaven]

Driver {{{}}}

Bless you for saying what I've been thinking and just didn't have the calm to write.

You are my Shero!
Raven

[grizzle45]

Wow, thanks Driver 8 for a very enlightening response! I often perceive what appears to be greater visibility of bisexual women as a societal bias against bimen and toward bi women. I hadn't thought of the weight I was giving male fantasies (usually straight male fantasies) and I certainly wasn't considering how this is actually more demeaning than it is beneficial.
And demenaing is putting it mildly.

[300Zman]

Very well said Driver8,,, to be honest I think you have enlightened me. (in a good way) Good post, I sincerely think it needs to be read by us all. :)

[Michael623]

Great reply Driver 8. It's almost like the men only expect you to be bi for them. Put on a good show, get them off and you are back to being straight. And of course wanting them only.

[smokey]

very interesting article but he really has to do something about his hair.

That being said I agree with Driver more than Jon. I don't really think that there is such a thing as "biphobia", at least in the straight community...for the most part homophobes don't make such clearly defined distinctions, its all you're a fag to them. As for the gay community, I have repeatly stated I think its rather shallow and silly, so with the exception of actual individuals, I don't expect alot from that end either, I worked in the restuarant trade for 20 years and the gay men I worked with weren't exactly deep, the majority, well lets put it this way, you couldn't get your big toe wet, muchless drown in their depths....and so called spokespersons speak the party line as it were...so I discount them as well.

So what does that leave? The individual of course and each experince is different...some are accepted based on the circle they were born or fell into (my case) and others have had to fight and scratch every inch of the way and others still are so far in the back of the closet they don't even know where the door is....but really, and I hope this is changing, the majority of bisexuals are simply lost and confused souls wondering if there is a way forward.

If you have made it to this place...you are already on the way, but to what, only you get to decide.

[Lord_Pheonix]

While I certanly do agree with Driver8...I must play the devils advocate for a moment .I know when I am looking for bisexual attention weather it be anoher man or two women.I go to where they congrigate,where they are free to be who they are.

if you want a catholic girl...go to a church '
you want a BI person...go to a bisexual dance club!

[Sex in Words]

[QUOTE=Driver 8]Though I doubt this is what you meant, Jon, let me chime something in here.

No, it wasn't what I meant. In no way did I mean to infer that that is a desired role in society, that of being the "bisexual eye candy" for men. I had intended the paragraph to show that, from a wider societal perspective, that "seems" to indicate a heightened acceptance of bisexual women. In reality, it is objectifcation, not acceptance...and honestly, I think the objectification of the bisexual is a whole other article!

Thank you for getting what was lost between the lines out there for others to read!

[Sex in Words]

but he really has to do something about his hair.

Umm, thanks for the fashion advice, but I like my hair just the way it is, thank you.

[Lord_Pheonix]

Originally Posted by smokey
but he really has to do something about his hair.



I thought it looked cute.not often you see blue hair!

[Brian]

very interesting article but he really has to do something about his hair. I hope you were just trying to be amusing Smokey, and we haven't gotten to a point where we are criticizing our in-house writers for their hairstyles. That definitely would not be in the spirit of this site which is well-established as one of openness, grace and friendliness - you and the other longtime posters here have been so instrumental in setting that spirit.

- Drew :paw:

[bigregory]

awsome JON
i sent this to my gay friends
They still dont get the bi thing
they swear im gay.
i hope they read it
. :flag3:

[sailorashore]

Once again, Driver8, you cut straight to the chase. Lotta people needed to read that, I think. Keep on keepin on, girl. sailor :cool:

[DareMe]

I try to live my life by a simple standard...Live and let live. I don<t know who said it, but obviously a wise person.

DM

[Merlla]

That being said I agree with Driver more than Jon. I don't really think that there is such a thing as "biphobia", at least in the straight community...for the most part homophobes don't make such clearly defined distinctions, its all you're a fag to them.


Though I've only told one person that I am bi, I've already witnessed some of the things yall are talking about. My friend's father appearently works with one or more bi people and his opinion is that bisexuals are only interested in sex. With anyone. This also brings to mind a "discussion" I had with my father one day about a bisexual singer. He called him a "homo" (or some such word) and when I corrected him, he just told me that there was no difference.

(BTW Blue hair is awesome, I used to have some :tong: )

[glantern954]

We cover this topic occasionally at our local bi group. I don't know about where you live, but here in South Florida the vast majority of bisexuals would not be caught dead at a pride event.

Yes, we are unaccepted by many in the gay and lesbian community. But what have we done to deserve acceptance? How many of us volunteer at community centers? donate to the HRC? donate to aids charities? ask our employers to offer health benefits to same sex spouses? I am guessing the numbers are pretty low.

Do bisexuals as a group even REALLY want to be considered part of GLBT? It doesn't feel like it.

I'm not trying to be a jerk here. I'm just stating what my experiences with this topic have been so far. My apologies for the negativity.


QUOTED FROM ARTICLE:
"However, instead of not wanting accept that a bi person's attraction to the opposite gender exists; they instead consider bi people to be too afraid to come all the way out as gay or lesbian. As a result, bi people are sometimes
not accepted, particularly at the queer high holiday, Pride."

[smokey]

To Drew...I was practicing my old fogeyhood...I went in one year from midback length hair to spike cut beached blonde so...

To Glantern...I have to agree with you, with the exception of a few very gay friendly places such as Portland Maine, whenever i have tried to associate with the gay community outside of sex I have been made to feel unwelcome...the general idea being oh you're just another closet queer, without them knowing any of the people I had told I was bi (all my friends and lovers). This repeated experince has led to me disassociating myself from the gay community. I will show up for gay pride now and then and really don't feel that there is a place for me. Its all the duality worldview BS....the straight community says you are straight or gay and the gay community agrees....both sides ignoring the many shades of gray. Go to barnes and nobles, there are plenty of books on being gay including a living the gay lifestyle handbook but next to nothing on bisexuals. The most absurd is by this black man on straight black men who have sex with other men...as if there is some sort of distinction to be made.....honey...thats called being bi.

[WillowTree]

you want a BI person...go to a bisexual dance club!

Seriously, if those exist where you are consider yourself in a place that is a step down from heaven! There is NO form of bi support here, much less an outlet. Of course you're probably talking about gay clubs (if you really mean bi I am so jealous!) There are a couple of gay clubs here, but I've found the gay community not to be much more accepting than the straight. Not to mention, I've discovered disco music is my least favorite.

[hypershot]

I agree there, there is no form of Bisexual activity groups here. I think the nearest "meeting" is over 60 miles away and i have no way of getting there. Both the gay clubs in my home town have been shut down, and new "trendy bars" have been set up in there place.

Bisexuals are, well, not hated, but definitely disliked in this neighbourhood, and gays are only mildly more accepted.

Needless to say I feel very alone and cut off from the Bisexual world where I live. Im fortunate enough to have 2 fantastic friends, one gay, one bi, but thats about as far as i've ventured into the world.

In short I wish there was such a thing as a bisexual club because all those that were in doubt in the community could just go and hang out. No sexual intentions would be great, but on the other hand, some would be fun! :tongue:

Hypershot

Loves you all!

xXx

[azmalecd]

undefined
Umm, thanks for the fashion advice, but I like my hair just the way it is, thank you.

[azmalecd]

me personally i have found the bi comunity to be afraid of who they are and what people think of them i recently came out and have found many freinds and lovers sso being out wwwwith it helps me understandd it more

[cassie]

Wonderful article Jon. Thanks.

[glantern954]

I have to agree that this largely seems to be the case. It makes me sad.


me personally i have found the bi comunity to be afraid of who they are and what people think of them

[Dai1961]

Ahh to be bi in Denver in the Springtime.... My wife and I come from different perspectives on this, she was in lesbian relationships before coming out as bi and joining up with,,,me. I am a previously married father of two, who has come out as bi, only since meeting her, although I had identified as such for many years. I feel lucky to be in a community where I have been mostly welcomed into a couple of groups, that are primarily gay, but accepting of bisexuality.

And as for being part of the community, we go to pride, support local GLBT stores etc,, and my wife is planning to do some volunteer work at the center...


thanks for the article, and the conversation.....

Dai :male: and Lala :female: :bibounce:

[jamiehue]

Though I doubt this is what you meant, Jon, let me chime something in here.

I often hear bi guys saying "In our society it's okay for women to be bi but not men" or "Bi women have it easier than bi men" and citing this sort of stereotype. That is NOT, NOT, NOT, NOT true, and I do wish some of the guys would stop and think a moment before coming out with it.

Being some man's fantasy is not the ultimate test of acceptance in the world. The fact that some straight guys are turned on by the thought of two women together doesn't stop them shouting threats and abuse from their cars at FF couples, or refusing to rent them apartments, or refusing to hire women they think aren't straight.

Furthermore, even sexually, the "bi women = hot" idea doesn't work in bi women's favor. Here's an example. There are a lot of men in the world who fantasize about large-breasted women, but almost none of them would walk up to a woman they don't know at a social event and say "I fantasize about big breasts. You have big breasts. Let's get together."

And yet men will come up to a bisexual woman they don't know and say "I fantasize about bisexual women. I hear you're bisexual ..." and expect you to jump into bed with them (and bring a friend.) It's as though the fact that you're a bisexual woman means you don't deserve the consideration a straight woman would get. These guys act as though bi women exist solely to get them off.

I don't doubt for a moment that biphobia affects bi men and bi women in different ways, but I'm so tired of hearing my life is great because two women can kiss while a bunch of men jack off. Oh you are so right.

[jamiehue]

Went to "club" outside of Detroit on sat.Vapid stares my "pods" of seemees.Talked to one person he ended up saying he was bi.I said you mean normal ....

[bi_mem_guy]

I just found this site this morning, and joined it immediately.

I've known my whole life that I like both sexes. I have often heard "You're either straight, gay, or lying to yourself" when the subject of bisexuality came up.

One would think that after all they went through to gain acceptance and the ability to be open with their sexuality, "purely homosexual" folks wouldn't be so quick to discriminate against bisexuals, but before I fell in Love and got married, that was the norm in all the clubs (gay and straight) that I went to.

Thanks for the article!! :yinyang:

[Mimi]

thanks, jon, for this article. i wrote a similar article for UCLA's LGBT magazine, Ten Percent back in 2000, in which i outlined the different ways i'm discriminated against by straight men, straight women, gay men, and lesbian women.


I don't really think that there is such a thing as "biphobia", at least in the straight community...for the most part homophobes don't make such clearly defined distinctions, its all you're a fag to them.

i have to disagree with you, smokey. i think that straight people CAN be bi-phobic. sure, some of them just don't like anybody that does anything with the same gender and so they lump in bisexual people with "the gays", but i've also met straight people who accept gay/lesbian people but don't accept bi people. i knew of this one straight man who just couldn't accept that there is such a thing as bisexuality. i also had a straight male friend who stopped being my friend because he kept thinking that i would never be faithful again (even though he knew i was faithful before i came out to him). there have also been studies measuring biphobia among heterosexual and gay/lesbian people, and they found that heterosexual people actually had HIGHER rates of biphobia than the gay/lesbian people. if you're interested i can dig up the reference.

mimi :flag1:

[Hardon-Bi69-Ohio]

That was a very good article that you had wrote. I had seen good articles like this b4. But this is really something. Very nice article. :bipride: :) :male:

[Dallasanddiamond]

Lets take a look at this from another point of view.

If you are Straight, Bisexual, bicurious, Gay, Lesbian Polly etc, and you venture into any kind of alternative "Lifestyle" that is outside of soceity's acceptance or normal regardless of what it may be, do people have the right to be judge mental, because in all fairness who has the right to judge anyone.

We are a Very happily married (F/M) couple and we have been actively involved with in the lifestyle for 23+ years, "Both Bi" and from what we hear and see on a daily basis from others absolutely amazes us:

eg: Quotes

BI or Gay people should NOT come to adult clubs..your not welcome go else where you freaks?

Bi or Gay people are just people that are sick?

Bi or Gay people have no place within the lifestyle?

I consider myself Straight, unless I/we are with a couple then were bi?

As long as I/we receive and not give then we are Straight"?

I am Bi-Situationaly bi? WHAT THE HELL!!!!

Bi men are gross...dont want to watch that...BUT bi women Woooo-Whoooo?

Hope everyone knows what were trying to say here, so simply put, we have started to see a patteren happen caused by others within the lifestyle, this needs to STOP.

P.S people involved within any lifestyle outside the normal, are starting to become more judgemental then those in/of soceity that are not involved!!!!!!

Everyone just please be respectful of others decisions everyone is seeking the same common factor...FUN FUN FUN......

Bye, have fun but always play and be safe.

Dallas & Diamond

[dorkyduke]

By Jon Pressick

http://main.bisexual.com/forum/images/misc/miscstuff/author9.jpg"You're a fencesitter."
"You're just confused."
"You're just halfway to gay."
"You spread disease.
"You're just being trendy."
"Make up your mind."

When I take a look at a website such as Bisexual.com, I am filled with joy at seeing so many bi folks coming together. We're a community, we're strong people. But that doesn't mean the road for us is paved in pink, purple and blue! Among the many struggles we still have to deal with is the undeniable influence that biphobia has on our lives.

I've been a freelance writer/activist in the greater queer and the smaller bi community for a number of years. And when I write articles, I often ask for input, putting out emails for people to comment. Never have I ever received such response than from my simple call out for experiences with biphobia. This is a topic that many people have, unfortunately, had experience with and is a definite touchstone for our community.

What is Biphobia?
Wherever there exists differences in our world, there exist phobias. Be they an individual thing or a group mentality, humans seem to have a natural predilection toward fear. Perhaps the most widely recognized societal phobia is homophobia—the fear of people who love those of the same sex. Be it the result of religious beliefs, societal conditioning or just personal misunderstanding, homophobia is still rampant throughout the world. And for the longest time, bisexual people would have been lumped in under homophobia, given that we do have the ability to love those of the same sex. However, it just doesn't cut it. Bisexual people have a different set of experiences, that are, ahem, more complex than those covered by homophobia. And many of these experiences are based on where biphobia comes from.

Stereotypes and Biphobia
Maybe you could relate to some of the quotes at the beginning of this article. They are just some of the many, many stereotypes that are affixed to bisexual people. Basically, bi people are considered sex-crazed, indiscriminate, confused, disease-carrying fools who are deluding themselves with the idea that they can't or don't have to chose between the two genders. Perhaps the most powerful idea of bisexuality is that it simply doesn't exist. Robyn Ochs, longtime bi activist, educator and author tells of doing workshops across the United States: "Almost every place I visit, one or more person says, "I don't believe in bisexuality."

Of course, any of these characteristics are unfair to place on a community as a whole or individuals. Unfortunately, it isn't even necessary for you to be directly assaulted with any of these stereotypes for you to be affected by them. Your very existence as a bi person can render you helpless in the face of outright discrimination. Cheryl Dobinson, an activist and creator of the bi women's 'zine The Fence, suggests that those who are confronted with these stereotypes may choose to "identify as another label, or no label at all."

Biphobia in the Straight Community
Given the prevalence of homophobia in the world, it is easy to see how the straight community is a major influence of biphobia. Robyn Ochs, in Bisexuality: The Psychological and Politics of an Invisible Minority (Ed. Beth A. Firestein, Sage, 1996, pp 217–239), makes a blunt statement:

“It is obvious that bisexual individuals who are being approached by someone intent upon perpetrating violence against them as they leave a gay bar are unlikely to have the opportunity to say to the gay basher, "Oh actually, you see, we're bisexual, not gay, so please, only beat us up on one side." Nor would such a plea be likely to dissuade the person from assaulting them.”

Of course, biphobia is not just about physical violence. Biphobia from the heterosexual community can take many forms. People who come out to family can be ostracized and disowned, in much the same way gay men and lesbians are. Many people will not come out to their families fearing losing them. Bi people, particularly men, are also condemned as transmitters of disease to the straight community. They are perceived as recklessly engaging in gay sex and then coming home and infecting their unsuspecting wives and girlfriends (of course the same does apply to women), with STI's such as AIDS. In the same vein, bisexuals are often blamed for the breakdown of families, if after time, they come out to their spouses. The courts can then treat them unsympathetically when issues of custody of children arise.

All of these instances come from the societal belief of the superiority of heterosexuality over homoiphobia? Well, the best thing is to just be ourselves. Live your life the way you want. Take as a spouse whomever loves you and you love. If it works for you, have a lover of each gender, and carry a picture of each in your wallet. And while it may not be possible for everyone, wear your sexuality on your sleeve to establish you—and bisexuality in general—as someone and something that needs to be taken seriously and be respected.

(c) Copryight 2006 Jon Pressick
it took me a long time to be comfortable with my bisexuality, but now that i am it its like a big weight off my shoulders

[ErosUrge]

I am a bit frustrated after having spent some time in the chat room with a certain individual who allowed his religious upbringing to enter into our discussion. Unfortunately, he was making moralistic calls on those of us who engaged in sex with two or more at once than the more generic one on one sex. Anyhow, I addressed this with him and left the room. I think it still ultimately is because of his own Biphobia and he still can't come to terms with it in the process just yet. I was angered at the time because he seemed to want to bring others down with him because of his own insecurity. I apologize for not having read all the entries here nor even the actual article here....I am simply venting.

[tattootears2000]

kudos to u man thank you for saying what needed to be said , bi-sexuals all round i bet appreciate what u rendered in a short explanation of what prolly would have taken me forever n a day to put on paper , but there is something interesting about what uve said here , as u said in tha begining of this u wrote the typical statements that others often say but wehat about each sexual orientation individualll , like str8 ppl can lok at me can call me a fag or a homo and gays and lesbians can sit and call me a breeder or worse idk aint been called worse yet but ill let u know when i do , but at tha same tyme what tha hell can we say back , were half gay and half str8 so if i was to sit and call someone a fag or otherwise i would it would be tha pot calling the kettle black or if i said something to a str8 person it would be tha same situation u know what im saying , so i agree whole heartedly about what u say but ill add something , in a way most of us will never be truly happy , being bi-sexual we will always crave either a man or a woman always , so even while in a relationship with a woman i still wanna succ a dicc or bend over for some hott guy i met 5 mins ago , or while im with a man its the same thing i crave the opposite sex than what im with so i dont know , me personally , i fell ill never be hapy like this but ill say this much i love being bi-sexual so hell i aint gon change , i jus dont k now if ill ever be happy with having just one or the other but yea ur post is awesome and totaly true :bibounce:

[lilypink]

As a young bisexual just starting to come out to a few close friends, I was delighted to find a gay community in my city. Although I have made many good friends in this community in the years since, I am still shocked at the number of ignorant people who shun me upon finding out that I am bisexual. Many people assume that I hang around gay clubs because I am a 'fag hag' and I have been accused of dating wimmin just for appearances. I once overheard a conversation in a local gay bar wherein one man explained that the problem with bisexuals is that they are either in denial about being homosexual or are on the "straight" side of bi. How is it that a community that has overcome so much adversity with regards to gender identity and sexual orientation can turn around and shun those that don't fall clearly on one side of the line?

In the straight community I am often accused of being a slut because of my preferences, however I am very fortunate to be surrounded by good people who may be puzzled by my lifestyle but who aren't afraid to ask questions and to learn!

When I was first coming out I was known to say that I wish I was either straight or gay, either would make it easier for me. I would either have to come out to everyone or not have to at all, and would never have to choose between men and wimmin. Ask me now and I will tell you that I am proud to be bisexual, and wouldn't change that for the world!

[goldylocks79]

I have to agree that this largely seems to be the case. It makes me sad.
I must tell you that I am a bisexual woman, and after happily and contently reading your article and the responses to it I feel very blessed in my life. I run an LGBT at my local uni, which i set up with a guy friend, I have met 2 very good friends through this and aspire to help as many gay, bicurious, bisexual etc young people as I can in feeling comfortable with thier sexuality. All my friends and most my family know Im bisexual as i practically scream it from the rooftops and am proud to be bisexual. I went to london europride for the first time this year, it was fantastic and I felt at home.
What I am trying to say is that yes you do need to be yourself, and use your confidence to help nuture and educate people about being bisexual, and help people who dont feel the wholeness I feel in my identity as a bisexual woman to realise its the best thing on earth, there is not enough love in the world as it is, and definatley I garentee you the majority of homophobes and biphobes are gay themselves, its so true! My ex boyfriend was a homophobe but was so feminine, and other signes led me to believe he was bisexual but he was so set in his ways (due to upbringing) that it was like getting blood out of a stone :bipride: I couldnt help him, but through suppressing (to an extent) my sexuality due to his homophobia(which I now realise was biphobia to) he actually helped me to be stronger through my rejection of his ideas, and needless to say the stupid arse lost me!
Anyways, be strong, be proud and most of all be yourself. I have not experienced biphobia in the gay community. Everyone come to london pride next year yeh babes!!!!
Lucy xxxxx

[EludedSunshine]

Kudos, Driver 8. I feel the same way.

I've definitely experienced the "you just can't decide"/"there's no such thing" sentiments from both hetero *and* homosexuals. So while I have numerous gay and straight friends, none of them seem to completely understand bisexuality, even if they believe that they are accepting of it. I've been called a fag and a breeder from both sides, but what can I really say in my defense? In these cases, instead of seeing me as a person, they tend to see only the side of me that doesn't agree with their lifestyle.

Oh, and does anyone else get "if there weren't something wrong with you, you'd be happy finding a nice man (or woman, if you're a man) to be with"?

One of the favorite ideas where I am (when I'm at school) is the "college bisexual," AKA, the attention whore. I suppose because girls (moreso than guys) get drunk at parties and make out with each other, it leads everyone to think it's okay to assume that we're all just bi when we're drunk (and that we'll go back to being completely straight again when we graduate). I've been to one frat party in my entire life, and I didn't even drink when I was there (nor make out with anyone, regardless of gender). At a rather conservative, small school like mine, it seems impossible to break this stereotype...

EDIT: Oh, and while I'm thinking about college, I can't forget the straight male friend of mine who said he hates bi women because all they do is create more competition for him... So even the straight guys have reason to hate us!

Another thing I've found is that people think bisexuality = no discretion. As if having the ability to be attracted to both genders means that we're attracted to/will have sex with anyone and everyone at any time. I know for me, at least (and probably most everyone else), being bi doesn't make my sex life a rampant free-for-all. In fact, I've had few partners and I take my relationships very seriously because I'm a rather picky person. :tong:

[fefetrixabelle]

i like boys and i like girls and i confirmed this after a particularly exciting party when i was a teenager. nuff said. i was really lucky, all my friends were comfortable with that, most were admitted to being more than a little curious.

recently i ended a serious relaionship with a boy and to cheer myself up went out with a lesbian friend of mine to a gaybar. i look very femine so am used to the usual taughts about not being gay enough (!) to fit in but after chatting up a girl all night i mentioned that i was bi and suffered a torrent of abuse, like i had led her on and was in some way diluting what it was to be gay! i left in a fury and mentioned this to my friends who all said "but isn't about time you chose tho?" that comment led me to this site where i am relieved and touched to be reassured that people like me exist. thank you so much, now i feel confident that the decisions i made as a teenager were and still are right for me. its true that many people see bi as a halfway house to gay but thats their problem not mine! :)

[SatyrGuy69]

Why's it so hard to love one another ?
Why's it so hard to love ?
What do I have to do to be accepted ?
What do I have to say ?
What do I have to do to be respected ?
How do I have to play ?
What do I have to look like to feel I'm equal ?
Where do I have to go ?
What club do I have to join to prove I'm worthy ?
Who do I have to know ?
What do I have to learn to know what's right for me ?
What do I have to know ?
What am I going to do when I feel righteous ?
Where do I have to go ?
Who should get to say what I believe in ?
Who should have the right ?
What am I going to do with all this anger ?
Why do I have to fight ?
I'm telling you brothers, sisters !
Why can't we learn to challenge the system
Without living in pain ?
Brothers, sisters !
Why can't we learn to accept that we're different ?
Before it's too late !
Why's it so damn hard ?

[Bum_Ditty]

awsome JON
i sent this to my gay friends
They still dont get the bi thing
they swear im gay.
i hope they read it
BIGREGORY

Also in response to the "so far back in the closet they don't know where the door is" comment...

Everybody has a different story, it's just a matter of degree. Some people hate the idea of calling attention to themselves in any way, others jump right out without invitation or provocation and proclaim their state of being to the entire world. Others fear reprisals from one or many quarters, and still others (me, for example) know that people whom we love would be hurt by such an admission, and that the loved ones would lash back with extreme actions (whatever they may be).
Yes, I understand the idea that I and others who share my outlook are just "pathetic cowards (overheard recently in a local restaurant) who lack a backbone and need a good swift kick." Do not make the mistake, however, of thinking that just because I understand it, I therefore agree with or do not dispute it. Nothing, in fact, could be further from the truth.
We know where the door is, all too well -- and we know what lies beyond it. On a lighter note, there is more than one way to fight a battle.
Two unfortunate things to have to admit are
(1) that there are still people here in the US who are not completely free to do as they wish, and
(2) that it is not always as simple as just throwing away what a criticizing person insists is an unhealthy relationship.
I also understand the idea that denying to oneself and to others one's true state of being is a life-shortening act. I agree that lying to oneself about what one is, or is not, is quite literally unhealthy. I do not agree that stepping out from behind a rock before the major threats to one's wellbeing have all been taken care of is a good idea. Such is not an act of growth, but of suicide.
Some may feel that such an outlook is cowardly. Fine. They can feel that way if they want, while I go on and live a happy life knowing what I am and not requiring myself to parade it around for everybody to stare and shake their heads at. I dont mean to dis anyone on this site; I have, however, encountered quite a few such outlooks in real life.
As for what one's gay friends have to say about it, well...one should consider the fact that gay friends don't always know whats best for their bi friends, or really have their bi friends' best interests at heart (or vice versa). Many, I suspect, are actively trying to reduce what they see as a "threat" of dilution to the gay community ("dilution" meant literally; in other words, lessening the strength of the gay community by allowing yet another term into the "club"). Please forgive me if I am inserting unsaid or unimplied words, buuuuuuuuuuttt (lol) the apparent idea that they know more about the bi person than the bi person knows about him or her self is in my opinion indicative of a personality that needs to work on it's acceptance of others).

bum_ditty

[stephlesson]

in one town i lived in we had a bi coffee shop and its was awsome, but alas now im in an area were you just cant be or least act anything but straight. But it does make it hard when both sides are pullin agaisnt the middle

[mizundastoodgal]

I was so happy to see this article posted as I myself have had many experiences with bi-discrimination. Conditions may be different elsewhere, but where I live there is not a lot of support for bisexual people. I mean, we have a gay/lesbian dance club and a gay/lesbian news bulletin, and responses to those groups have been fairly positive. I've found however that being bi, I've been met with negativity from both sides- straight people haven't been accepting of my love of both genders, and a lot of gay/lesbian people have told me I'm in denial of being lesbian. And yes it is sometimes awkward participating in BGLT groups, but I would rather suck it up and ignore the negative comments of a few in favor of being around folks who, for the most part, are a lot more welcoming then the straight community. *shrug* Might be different for most folks, but that's my experience and opinion. :rolleyes:

[but that's my name!!]

"You're a fencesitter."
"You're just confused."
"You're just halfway to gay."
"You spread disease."
"You're just being trendy."
"Make up your mind."


AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH :yikes2: :I go into frenzied rage: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH :yikes2: :I sit and cry:


:flag3:

[stillconfused]

Hi all, I love this site, but some people think we are promiscuous just cause we're bi. My Profile probably didn't do much to change that, but I was being honest at least. I think most people are bi but for whatever reason can't deal with it, and I understand that, it's taken me years to finally accept the fact that I'm bi. I like both sexes, so what! "It's no hanging matter, it's no capital crime" Mick Jagger sang on "Stray Cat Blues" and he was exactly right, if it feels good for you it's probably ok, so sue me. (Great comments from EludedSunshine in Chicago earlier, she hit the nail on the head.)

[Obezyanka_Nol]

By Jon Pressick

[FLOATLEFT] And while it may not be possible for everyone, wear your sexuality on your sleeve to establish you—and bisexuality in general—as someone and something that needs to be taken seriously and be respected.



Jon Pressick is the feature article editor for Bisexual.com (http://main.bisexual.com). He is also the publisher of [I]TRADE: Queer Things and a past contributor to Xtra!, Gaiety, Broken Pencil, Women’s Post and Quill and Quire.


I have to disagree. My friend Kyle is homosexual, doesn't act it, doesn't dress in rainbows, He's himself and happy with who he is, and he's the most accepted gay man I know. My friend Wyatt told me once "yeah, I used to be homophobic, but when Kyle told me he was gay, it made me realize homosexuals are just like everyone else."

I think wearing it all over can help OR hinder.

[BIMUSCLEBOY2007]

Just joined the site 20 minutes ago.
Really enjoyed the article.
I do have a few points/observations I'd like to share.
1.According to Kinsey, most people are bi to some degree, & therefore, WE'RE the majority/mainstream!!! Perception is reality. Some of you may feel oppressed because you may PERCIEVE yourselves as the minorities, when in fact...There's a reason why you get "vibes" from people no matter where you go...

2.People will never accept your orientation because they haven't yet gotten around to accepting their own. Those who hate those who've done nothing to cause them any harm, really have a problem with their own orientation/color/gender, and are simply projecting their own self-hatred onto you. My personal experience is that the more honest they are with themselves, the more comfortable they are with you.

3.I've been very lucky in that I've only had one negative experience like the ones discussed in the article, but that was from a gay guy I used to sleep with who didn't want to, as he put it, "lose me". I've noticed that people comfortable w/ themselves ask me if I'm bi, while the uncomfortable ones assume I'm either gay or straight. Perhaps once you know yourself, you're far better able to "read" others vibes, etc. My whole family was like "Well, duh!!! You like big muscle guys and busty women. What else would you be?" I was like, "Well, you could've told me and saved me YEARS of anguish!" Actually, it turned out that my "anguish" had more to do with the fact that I wasn't attracted to anyone around me at the time, leaving me to feel asexual. Then, I discovered Europeans. YUM!!! Is it me, or is the whole Continent Bi-sexual?

4.As for those "guys" who want girl/girl action for their own benefit, I think it's time to read between the lines. Don't you get it? What those guys are really saying is, "Please, like me, make me feel good about myself because I'd feel like such a loser otherwise". They know that same-sex sex has a much more powerful energy to it than opposite-sex sex, and this makes them feel useless. They already use so many camouflages to compensate for their severe feelings of masculine inadequacy. That's simply one more.

5.They call you "slut" because the fantasize about your sex life, then become bitter when they realize that theirs will never be as interesting. Look at the first person in the room who'll use that word about you, and you'll see that I'm right on this one.

Love the site. Glad it's here. Can anyone recommend any bi clubs in Toronto, NYC, London or LA?
Thanks in advance.
Later.

[BIMUSCLEBOY2007]

Oh, and one last thing.
I've tended to notice that the "hotter" the person, the less likely anyone is to give a crap about their sexual orientation, esp. bi or gay. As my mom put it after she learned that study about gay men having the highest rates of test. in their systems, "This is why so many people have a problem with so many gay men. It's becuase most gay and bi people LOOK LIKE CRAP, don't take care of themselves, etc. My point is, different goups of people have different gifts from which the rest of society can used to be "shown the way", as it were. To my mind, LGBT folk were blessed with the extra hormones, etc., which some say makes them the most sexual people around(regardless of how much sex they actually have), but they tend to present themselves in such unflattering, unappealing ways that NO ONE wants to learn from them about how to be comfortable in one's own sexual skin, which, I believe is their collective gift to the world, teaching others how to be that comfortable, kinda like the way White rockers always seek out Blacks bluesmen in order to become more credible musicians."

At first, I was taken aback. Everytime she saw an unattractive gay man, she'd always say that he'd "be better off str8", pointing out his unlikelyhood to get laid, etc., whereas if str8, str8 women's standards are so low, that he still "had a shot". Anyway, she was right.
Example:
I used to worked at Colony Records, "in" the Brill Bldg. in NYC.
Most of the guys there assumed I was either gay or bi because guys kept coming back into my section...but never bought anything. Never mind all of the hot, exotic girls there, too. Anyway, I began to work out during my "tenure" there, and as I got more buff, the less uncomfortable they were as they began to as me all kinds of questions they've always wanted to ask...someone, anyone, which, in turn made them more comfortable w/ themselves. I like being a big, beefy Yoda. Others do not. Long story short: By becoming the best me I could be, I became someone from whom they all wanted to learn...and sometimes, be, and my sexuality was never again an issue...mainly because I was seen as sexy. Being 6'7" tall w/ really broad shoulders and a 50+" chest kinda helped, too.
Being anything-sexual without actually being sexy is like being a eunuch-with no harem to protect. we want to see sexy bi-sexuals. If
Ricky Martin or Mario Lopez(Aaaaaaaaaand there's the flop sweat...)
were to ever come out as bi, trust me, we'd gain a whole new, POSITIVE visability. Or as mom says, "If HOT same-sex couples tried to get married, the laws would change in their favor TOMORROW! It's bad enough to have ugly opposite-sex couples marrying and breeding..."
IT'S TIME TO BRING THE SEXY BACK TO BISEXUAL, PEOPLE!!!

[BIMUSCLEBOY2007]

CRAP, I forgot something else.
The main reason that I never get the "you're just confused" crap is because people know that I only sleep with people who are on the exact same spot on the KInsey scale as I am(Equally gay & srt8, which, I guess, accounts for the fact that I can build a house with my bare hands, then decorate the hell out of it!lol) and no one else. Yes, this represents a small number of the population, but, for me, it makes the finding of such a compatible person all the sweeter. I never sllep with gay men or straight women, or even other bi's of differing Kinsey spots because we don't share similar desires in similar amounts. For me, it always comes down to total compatibility. Yes, I'm really long-winded. Sorry about that.

[Camena]

The reason I looked for a site like this tonight was because of the very things mentioned in this article. I finally just got sick of biphobia from people (specifically my family and friends). I have a friend to talk about this with, who seems to understand, but she's straight and as kind as she is, it's really not the same. I'm really glad to have found somewhere to feel better about these subjects with, and even more thrilled to have read this article since it was like a confirmation that, indeed, I am not alone.

Thanks, Jon!

[darkrose287]

I've told everyone except my family. Both my parents are specificaly bi-phobic...they say they can understand homosexuality because its "like straight, just reversed". But apparently bisexuality is just a way of sleeping with everyone you can find and is just made up. This is why I had a hard time accepting that i was bi

[evilpanda]

Kudos, Driver 8. I feel the same way.

I've definitely experienced the "you just can't decide"/"there's no such thing" sentiments from both hetero *and* homosexuals. So while I have numerous gay and straight friends, none of them seem to completely understand bisexuality, even if they believe that they are accepting of it. I've been called a fag and a breeder from both sides, but what can I really say in my defense? In these cases, instead of seeing me as a person, they tend to see only the side of me that doesn't agree with their lifestyle.

Oh, and does anyone else get "if there weren't something wrong with you, you'd be happy finding a nice man (or woman, if you're a man) to be with"?

One of the favorite ideas where I am (when I'm at school) is the "college bisexual," AKA, the attention whore. I suppose because girls (moreso than guys) get drunk at parties and make out with each other, it leads everyone to think it's okay to assume that we're all just bi when we're drunk (and that we'll go back to being completely straight again when we graduate). I've been to one frat party in my entire life, and I didn't even drink when I was there (nor make out with anyone, regardless of gender). At a rather conservative, small school like mine, it seems impossible to break this stereotype...

EDIT: Oh, and while I'm thinking about college, I can't forget the straight male friend of mine who said he hates bi women because all they do is create more competition for him... So even the straight guys have reason to hate us!

Another thing I've found is that people think bisexuality = no discretion. As if having the ability to be attracted to both genders means that we're attracted to/will have sex with anyone and everyone at any time. I know for me, at least (and probably most everyone else), being bi doesn't make my sex life a rampant free-for-all. In fact, I've had few partners and I take my relationships very seriously because I'm a rather picky person. :tong:

Confession time. I admit to being one of those guys in college, who held a certain amount of animosity towards bi girls and lesbians for something as trivial and stupid as creating more competition. I wasn't good with ladies back then, so I blamed the bi's. Sorry.

But, look at it this way. It proves that a lot of homo/biphobia comes from people who are closeted themselves.

[Lienda]

(Yes, I'm lurking and I tried to leave before. Of course I came back in here... with curiosity of how it's been going 'sigh. :|)

I have gotten the "Bisexuals are just greedy" line, and boy did it make me mad, and of course I wanted to correct it. Turned out he was ignorant of bisexuality. I was suprised that this one said it, because he claimed he was gay. It's such a contradiction. Beleiving that gay orientation isn't a choice for gays, and yet saying "Aha! Look at that bisexual chooseing to like both.." WTF?... Logical? no.

I of course protest the gay hate that I surprisingly seem to just stumble across repeatidly in World of Warcraft. (If I played other online games, it might be there to. 'sigh' What a drag) I like to play the male sex primarily, and got called Faggot for some stupid reason now and then. Sometimes the chat will be like "Go suck cock, stupid fag." "What about your two daddies?" used negatively, not possitively for trade chat fighting. *eye roll*

At which I promtly state things like "YOU shut up. All of us are trying to relax here, and you #$&#37; it up for everybody!"... "Could you please leave everyone else in peace?! GOD!", "Oh you're soooo proud... right..." they just go further like the trolls they are till, basically just about everyone has had it with them. I more than imagine, if I stated I was bisexual they would be stupid accordingly. "Oh so you like to sleep around with everyone? Wow!"
"OGM that's discusting... AIDS!"
"Is your dog ok after you entered it?" (People just assume you play your own sex.)
"See? Zanthis confessed that he just can't get satisfied." uhm no.

.... troll logic of theirs, you know how it is. I seem to get screaming urges to feed trolls sometimes.

[Jackal]

(Yes, I'm lurking and I tried to leave before. Of course I came back in here... with curiosity of how it's been going 'sigh. :|)

I have gotten the "Bisexuals are just greedy" line, and boy did it make me mad, and of course I wanted to correct it. Turned out he was ignorant of bisexuality. I was suprised that this one said it, because he claimed he was gay. It's such a contradiction. Beleiving that gay orientation isn't a choice for gays, and yet saying "Aha! Look at that bisexual chooseing to like both.." WTF?... Logical? no.

I of course protest the gay hate that I surprisingly seem to just stumble across repeatidly in World of Warcraft. (If I played other online games, it might be there to. 'sigh' What a drag) I like to play the male sex primarily, and got called Faggot for some stupid reason now and then. Sometimes the chat will be like "Go suck cock, stupid fag." "What about your two daddies?" used negatively, not possitively for trade chat fighting. *eye roll*

At which I promtly state things like "YOU shut up. All of us are trying to relax here, and you #$% it up for everybody!"... "Could you please leave everyone else in peace?! GOD!", "Oh you're soooo proud... right..." they just go further like the trolls they are till, basically just about everyone has had it with them. I more than imagine, if I stated I was bisexual they would be stupid accordingly. "Oh so you like to sleep around with everyone? Wow!"
"OGM that's discusting... AIDS!"
"Is your dog ok after you entered it?" (People just assume you play your own sex.)
"See? Zanthis confessed that he just can't get satisfied." uhm no.

.... troll logic of theirs, you know how it is. I seem to get screaming urges to feed trolls sometimes.

Oh I see this crap all time and in WoW especially, but it's gotten better. But I'm so dissapointed in homosexuals who disown or hate use because we like both. There are lesbians who say that bi girls end up with men. You wanna know why? 1. they fell in love. Yeah 'Love' you know that thing that you're always trying to convince religious fanatics that your sexuality is about and not choice? Yes that thing. 2. Because a whole lot of lesbians hate us and don't want to associate with us. "If you hang around dykes you tend to meet dykes." - http://liliane.comicgenesis.com

And I think that it is equally hard to biguys and bigirls; bigirls are seen as being trendy, or whores or solely for feeding the fantasies or hetero couples or hetero men, or confused. And bi guys get to go with the same crap that gay men go through, plus the, "It's a stage", "You're really gay" "You're confused" crap and the worst in my mind. "Its okay for me (the girl) to be bi but I wouldn't like it if my guy were bi because men are bestial and gross and it spreads disease." Um, WTF? I know there are as many types of bisexuals as there are starts in the sky but common, we at least have to support each other.

[RockinNRolla]

I wish I had read this article when I was 17.

[sabatino419]

Verses and proseof Maria KarpinskayaFrom the "PILGRIMAGE TO HOLY PLACES"India "MEETING WITH THE MOUNTAIN"Here in the heart of IndiaThere is a sacred mountain Arunachala,The legends say that Shiva-God lives in the mountainOn a full moon I walked around Him from all the sides.I walked by hard and lengthy wayAnd saw my whole life as integralAnd wall of time was crumblingAnd the past lived here near to the presentAnd light of future was dissolved in it foreverMy soul heeded music of all timesAnd sang the song of life and glorified God:"God, youre so fineYou created this mountain and the valley,In which gave me mildness of night,And clarity of clear moon.Soul cries to the body to love youAnd the body is so obedient to meAnd it continuesIn the beautiful lines of the holy mountainAnd sanctity of my bodyCalls me to heights of senses.I go by timelessnessIn circle of four spacesAnd every spaceShows me new look of GodAnd I see myself in it.Here the thoughts like cloudsCapped the mountain top,I accepted them joyfully and without sorrowAnd the thoughts slid down the mountainsideThen slipped offAnd touched with valley of my heartThe warmth of the heart turned them in weightlessnessOn the sky had grown wonderful patterns of clouds,But suddenly they sawPale princess - my moonAnd played with her,Moon hid behind the cloudsAnd in the world suddenly spills ink,And the night descends veil for those,Who doesnt sleep and praises GoddessTalents and thieves singing songs for herThe poet takes the ink and writes a poems about loveAnd the thief takes the excess of propertyAnd eases my way.But suddenly the moon will playfully come out from behind the cloudsAnd the world will fill with white paintAnd holiness will reign on earthMy beauty, Goddess,Give me white paint of lightIll paint with it the peoples hearts.But need I also some red colour.I want to see smileIn the light of the moon - red,She promises me luckAnd agitates the blood.I want to kindle fire in your nightThe fire in the minds of people with smile of love.What else would you give me on the way?Do you propose the milk of your celestial cows?Thank you, I do not drink it.For me more pleasant Milky Way in heavens,But you hid it from my eyes.O beauty, how many stars you overshadowed with white light?I go by way of eternity around the circle And the mountain sends me kisses,And there are lights from kissing left.They move into some houses,Which called here temples,And Im entering into your kiss,My mountain, my God,And clean my body and touch youAnd fire tickles my palms.You are so greatAnd how gentle Your kissesOn the road of timeThe trees affably waving to me;Hello, treesI was waiting for you longDo you know about me?"Yes, we have all the knowledge of your heartWe remain peaceful.Peace is in you, O Mary "And I became the soul of the trees,They let me into their essence.And the trees have become smarterAnd the trees became animatedAnd we melted into each other,And my leaves told me "Hello"My clouds as thoughts of feelingsFell on the top of the mountainThe mountain smiled at me: "See you, child"At the end of the pathMeeting and parting mergedIn one mighty stream of life and light...And... LOVE reigned in the soul.Author: Maria Lilith Karpinskaya. 1995.Translation Of Maya Nikolaeva.