I have never new of this where woman has a low sex drive.

[selfdiscovery]

Hi every one this is so odd to me. I know of a married man who has been married for 10yrs. He's in his late 30s and his wife is in her early 30s. He tell's me that she has a very low sex drive for a woman being so young. They have had some trouble in there marrage a few yrs ago. But now they seem to be some what happy again. He tells me and she also has said a few times when I have been with them she has said its not that bad if her husband has sex maybe once a month and where she wont let him touch her even if he wants to hold her with his hands on her breast or butt. This seems so ODD to me if you are married and happy yes I know we cant always touch our woman in a sexual way but for a woman to hold sex back when you are married to me is wrong. My mother and father were always active until my father past away. I always thought a woman should always help with her husbands needs in that matter. Even if she is still deeply in love with him knowing there is a differentence between love and being in love. Please give me your in put on this matter so maybe I can help him out and be there for him. This seems odd to me where a woman doesnt want sex that much.

[littlerayofsunshine]

It is not that "ODD". It is a very normal occurrence, whether the one with a lower sex drive be female or male. It can happen to either sex. Granted it may not be 'ideal' to most. But there are many reasons why some would have a lower sex drive. Some people are just "built that way". Some may developed it due to hormones or an emotional reason. Maybe she doesn't have orgasms with him and that will lower a sex drive. He could be a bad lover for all we know. I'm not saying he actually is I'm just elaborating on the many reasons why. She may be tired or worn out. If they have kids, some women find difficult to be sexual once the pitter patter of little feet come around. There are so many possibilities.

She could talk to her gynocologist about it and see if anything could be done and get her hormones tested.

If there are unresolved marital issues then she/they may need to see a counselor.

She could help him out, but sex should never be a duty, and if its made a chore would probably be even more of a resentment. Open communication helps in bringing the awareness about and if sex is used as a verbal weapon, its even less likely to happen. Calm, concerned, rational communication would be best.

So they should talk together and work together on what is best to bring both a happier more fulfilling sex life.

[abstruse_ric]

You think this is odd?

I have to laugh.

Sorry.

You should ask my wife. :(

[selfdiscovery]

You think this is odd?

I have to laugh.

Sorry.

You should ask my wife. :(

Why you say ask your wife? They say once you are married sex is all down hill from there why is that?

[darkeyes]

*resists temptation 2 b a smart arse an mention dorky wimpy lovers 'n hubbies....*;)

[Long Duck Dong]

I am a bit amused at the idea that its a woman * role * in a marriage to provide her husband with sex....... maybe I am wrong but sex is not a right, its a privilege......

that aside the human body is diverse and so in the human mind..... and its very possible that the lady has no sexual interest or interest in intimate contact....
that is no abnormal or wrong..... its merely the opposite side to a person that desires and craves constant contact......

sure i could suggest going to counselling and therapy but that is a way of stating that there is a problem there that can be fixed..... when in fact counselling and therapy find issues that could be there and ways to resolve them, or rules out any issues and finds that there is no problem with the lady other than no sexual or intimate interest.....

now in true bisexual.com forum style..... lets all offer the advice of go cheat as the right to get laid is greater than respect or courtesy to the partner.....
but my advice is more simplistic..... make a choice.... does the person love their partner enuf to stay in a basically sexless marriage with the offer to their partner of counselling and support for them both, or do they feel that they are not able to handle things and maybe the marriage will suffer to the point of breaking down, resulting in divorce.........

cheat at your own risk..... but remember the consequences of said actions, are your responsibility, not your partners....

[innaminka]

I am a bit amused at the idea that its a woman * role * in a marriage to provide her husband with sex....... maybe I am wrong but sex is not a right, its a privilege......

....

Thankyou for saying that - you beat me to it.

Otherwise, yes, some people have low sex drives - but this reeks of issues beyond that.

And has your friend had a look at himself in the mirror. It's not always the woman's "fault."

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

So since when is it all the woman's fault for her libido being low?? Maybe the "Guy" should take a step back and look at the reason Why she isnt interested. He might be surprised at the answer.
Cat

[tenni]

There can be lots of reasons why sex drive ebbs and flows and I believe that it can happen to men or women. However, I'm reminded of Billy Crystal's line........

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.:bigrin:

The sorry young guy who marries thinking that his pre marital sex life with his girlfriend will become even easier....needs to see this written as a falacy in every marriage license...lol

Another option as to whether this is a "right" or a "privilege" may be to have a marriage contract and if either partner fail to have sex upon request within X period of time this becomes grounds for dissolution of the marriage. If a woman won't sign it, then the guy knows what he is getting into...vice versa too. It wouldn't mean that they must get a dissolution of the marriage...just provide the option......:tong:

Sometimes I wonder if LDD is really a chic?? (then I recall that he states that he has a low sex drive..or something?)

*warning objects thrown at tenni may be larger than they appear...:bigrin:

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Well, from personal experiance, I can tell you that a woman having a low libido isnt as odd as you think. It can be cause by several factors, too. It can be hormonal, environmental, stress or she simply hasnt a desire for sex,,some women are like that. Sometimes a lack of desire can come from a chemical imbalance, and a bit of stress from everyday life. Work, kids, the house, bills, ect.
I recommend your friend be a little understanding and patient. He can always recommend a woman's sexual enhancer as well. Any Super Suppliment store or www.VitaminWorld.com has a product called Damiana Leaves, I recommend these wholeheartedly *Wink* The new KY Warming gell also works...if you dont just glob in on there...owie.
Good luck to you and your lady. ;)
Cat

[littlerayofsunshine]

Sometimes I wonder if LDD is really a chic?? (then I recall that he states that he has a low sex drive..or something?)

*warning objects thrown at tenni may be larger than they appear...:bigrin:

Gee, that's a low blow.

I wonder if it is a show of insensitivity, to try and emasculate someone or make fun of their disorders?

[Long Duck Dong]

lol it doesn't worry me, LROS..... I would rather have no sex drive, than a sex drive that leads to cheating, infidelity and people like tenni supporting people that cheat and blame their partners for it lol

and no I am not a female..... but I understand females very very well.... another advantage to being me...and not tenni

[littlerayofsunshine]

lol it doesn't worry me, LROS..... I would rather have no sex drive, than a sex drive that leads to cheating, infidelity and people like tenni supporting people that cheat and blame their partners for it lol

and no I am not a female..... but I understand females very very well.... another advantage to being me...and not tenni

I know LDD :tong:. And i know you are def not female, i have heard DD's screams all the way in NY. Damn that woman has a good set of lungs on her when a man makes her sing to high heaven.

I just get a little aggravated at the "Do as i say, don't do as i do mentality".

Randon Thought: Puppet Master wasn't all that great of movie. and the sequels really sucked and continue to, to this day.

[DuckiesDarling]

There can be lots of reasons why sex drive ebbs and flows and I believe that it can happen to men or women. However, I'm reminded of Billy Crystal's line........

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.:bigrin:

The sorry young guy who marries thinking that his pre marital sex life with his girlfriend will become even easier....needs to see this written as a falacy in every marriage license...lol

Another option as to whether this is a "right" or a "privilege" may be to have a marriage contract and if either partner fail to have sex upon request within X period of time this becomes grounds for dissolution of the marriage. If a woman won't sign it, then the guy knows what he is getting into...vice versa too. It wouldn't mean that they must get a dissolution of the marriage...just provide the option......:tong:

Sometimes I wonder if LDD is really a chic?? (then I recall that he states that he has a low sex drive..or something?)

*warning objects thrown at tenni may be larger than they appear...:bigrin:

Sometimes I wonder where you put your magnifying glass and tweezers, must be long past time for a wank :)


As has been posted it happens to everyone, there are a variety of reasons that affect things. Just because it's easy to tell on a man when he's aroused...I mean who can miss the tent right?

[tenni]

LOL
I got what I pretty much expected.....the devil made me do it...I'm such a Richard Cranium at times..but honestly LDD you do write like a chic..and a saintly one at that....some one has to call you on your sainthood

Oh..DD I use a microscope...:)

[Long Duck Dong]

LOL
I got what I pretty much expected.....the devil made me do it...I'm such a Richard Cranium at times..but honestly LDD you do write like a chic..and a saintly one at that....

like a chic ??? well yeah..... its cos I am a cunt and I deal with dicks a lot..... :tong:

[jem_is_bi]

I am a man. Years ago, I had low (like NO) sex drive for about 6 months after a prostrate issue (infection? It probably was because it started as an accute attack which prevented me from being able to pee for about 24 Hrs, a major medical issue.). Now, I am fine. But, I can definitely understand not wanting sex when your body is not able to sexually respond or get any enjoyment from doing so.

[DuckiesDarling]

I know LDD :tong:. And i know you are def not female, i have heard DD's screams all the way in NY. Damn that woman has a good set of lungs on her when a man makes her sing to high heaven.

I just get a little aggravated at the "Do as i say, don't do as i do mentality".

Randon Thought: Puppet Master wasn't all that great of movie. and the sequels really sucked and continue to, to this day.

Just blushes and blames LDD :cool:

[citystyleguy]

not a hell'uva lot to go on; seems to me to be one of those '...i have a friend that asked me to ask someone else...' type of question, but what ever...

...can be a variety of reasons, and not just limited to women, as low sex drive can afflict each person in as wide a variety as there are people. if this woman feels there is no particular issue at hand, or may be reluctant to tell tales, it is once again one of those situations where one needs to sit down with the other, and come to terms/understanding/possible solutions to the issue at hand.

i am reluctant to call it a problem, as the question is pretty much one-sided; there is that expectation that a woman's job is to _______ (fill in blank with whatever); i mean wtf, a woman's job, if it is put that way, is to be true to herself, not satisfy the man's expectations. ...never have understood this attitude of so many men!

i mean, has the dude taken stock of himself? ...of course, so many men think that because they are the male, everyone must be as enamoured of them as they are of themselves. as a bi-male, i have lost count of the straight men who think i am automatically attracted to them; sweet jesus dudes, you are in need of a major overhaul in all catagories. as you are, makes becoming a monk much more attractive a proposal.

so saith the :cool:

[coyotedude]

As others have pointed out, there are lots of reasons why women (and men) might have a low sex drive. Some are physiological, others are psychological. Stress can play a factor, as can medication.

Also, romance and sex in a marriage or long term relationship take work for both partners. Just expecting your husband or wife to put out for you just doesn't cut it. Sometimes a well planned seduction can work wonders.

I will say from personal experience that it can be rough when one partner has a much stronger libido than the other. That doesn't necessarily give any of us the right to break the rules of the relationship, however. Like everything else in a committed relationship, honest and loving communication is essential.

Just my :2cents:

Peace

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

[B]I always thought a woman should always help with her husbands needs in that matter. [/B

Think again. It isnt Always about His wants and needs, its about her's too. She isnt a service station ya know. Just drive on in and get yerself all taken care of then drive off happy. It has to be a two way situation or its just going thru the motions, and thats a terrible thing. Tell your "friend" to go man up and get a 'grip' on himself if he's all that bad off. Cold showers work wonders too.
Sorry, a tad grumpy this morning.
Cat

[tenni]

"Tell your "friend" to go man up and get a 'grip' on himself if he's all that bad off. "

funny good play on words Cat...:bigrin:

To change the perspective slightly though. Sex drives vary from person to person. Anyone can lose interest for a variety of reasons...stress and other health issues being maybe the two bigger ones that I can think of.

Any change in interest in sex may be a sign about other health matters or relationship matters. I would guess that the ol communication factor is something important. HOWEVER, if this loss of interest goes on for some time and the person is not open to getting help of some kind...what's a guy to do? Just get a grip?...:bigrin:

I've heard stories of guys who have not had sex with their wife in several years. Guys can lose interest too but generally remain interested even in the state of demensia...lol In that stage, getting a grip is probably best than thinking some woman is your wife or old girlfriend...lol

Why do some women who have been married for a long time make statements after menopause that thank god...I'm not giving it to him anymore? Is it always the guy's fault?..not romancing enough as an oft used term. Do the women not realize that the guy may think that you are rejecting them? Do women really expect the guy to "get a grip" for the rest of his life and leave her alone...and all other humans too?

Certainly, women know guys are basically simple..."feed them...give them sex..burp them"...lol They are basically happy.

*the above is in part in jest No human was injured in making this post...:bigrin:

[selfdiscovery]

"Tell your "friend" to go man up and get a 'grip' on himself if he's all that bad off. "

funny good play on words Cat...:bigrin:

To change the perspective slightly though. Sex drives vary from person to person. Anyone can lose interest for a variety of reasons...stress and other health issues being maybe the two bigger ones that I can think of.

Any change in interest in sex may be a sign about other health matters or relationship matters. I would guess that the ol communication factor is something important. HOWEVER, if this loss of interest goes on for some time and the person is not open to getting help of some kind...what's a guy to do? Just get a grip?...:bigrin:

I've heard stories of guys who have not had sex with their wife in several years. Guys can lose interest too but generally remain interested even in the state of demensia...lol In that stage, getting a grip is probably best than thinking some woman is your wife or old girlfriend...lol

Why do some women who have been married for a long time make statements after menopause that thank god...I'm not giving it to him anymore? Is it always the guy's fault?..not romancing enough as an oft used term. Do the women not realize that the guy may think that you are rejecting them? Do women really expect the guy to "get a grip" for the rest of his life and leave her alone...and all other humans too?

Certainly, women know guys are basically simple..."feed them...give them sex..burp them"...lol They are basically happy.

*the above is in part in jest No human was injured in making this post...:bigrin:

Thank you all for giving ideas on this matter so Im able to help out my friend nextdoor.

[peterupright]

We've been married for over 20 years and we are both in our 60's. Sex isn't as often as it used to be but it is now more intense than ever. We have become more vocal, patient and stimulating to each other.